John Turner Bio-Doc Airs Saturday

So, a friend of mine who happens to be a Producer/Director/Writer named Paul Kemp (Stornoway Productions) has made a very interesting and entertaining bio-doc on former PM and prominent Liberal John Turner. Paul dropped off an advance copy at my place last week and I thought I'd let y'all know about it.

Even if you don't like Turner this is well worth watching, if only because his political career careened across many fascinating and turbulent crests on Canada's historical sea. Not to mention, the details of his past evoke memories of the Canada I remember seeing on the news when I was kid. You know, the days when most politicians seemed a little more scholarly, well-spoken and god forbid, well-behaved. Watching old black and white footage of Turner conducting an impromptu seminar with young buzz-cut Liberals at the 1968 Liberal convention reminded me of Ward Clever imparting life lessons to the boys.

You have to check out this positive, fairly non-partisan doc regardless of what striped corner you have painted yourself into. Paul was granted exclusive access to all of Turner's fascinating photos and they figure prominently throughout, while Turner, himself, recounts the battles and joys of his years in Ottawa.

This is a must-see for anyone who loves Canadian history and politics. For the older of us, it will refresh memories and for the younger it will animate what you may see as a one-dimensional past. Either way, it offers new perspective into things we may take for granted regarding Canada's development as a nation.

The hour-long documentary is called John Turner: In His Own Words and will air on Global Television this coming Saturday at 7 pm EST on the ocassion of the Liberal leadership convention. It is also slated to run on iChannel in December. Check out your local listings for details!

I Second That E-Motion

Only time for a quickie today: The Tories are complaining that Michael Chong didn't give Harper any warning about his resignation over the nation motion (READ). Um, last I heard they didn't even ask him - the Unity Minister- what he thought about the Quebec motion in the first place. They got confused and asked a former Liberal MIA Minister instead. In Chong's defence, maybe he was confused that day as well and gave a heads up about his resignation to Bill Graham. Damn those out of date Parliament Hill speed dials.

Either way, the baby whining really takes the shit out of their only tangible victory so far in this mandate, doncha think?

Motion Sickness

Last night, people like Rex Murphy and Michael Chong were making the argument that the concept of Canada is based on inclusiveness and not on favouring certain "ethnicities". Rex Murphy even went so far as to say that all MPPs in Ottawa should be asserting the nationhood of Canada over any symbolic support of specific ethnic groups.

Did these guys grow up in the same country as I did? Because the last time I checked, our CONSTITUTION recognized French as one of the two distinct national languages of Canada. Now, if enshrining the linguistic representation of a culture in the supreme law of a land is not favouring one - or in this case, two- ethnicities, I really don't know what the hell is.

I don't understand why they didn't just come out and say that they do not support bilingualism, because that would be the absolute logical extension of their arguments.

Look, the British did not have the will (money?) at a certain stage of their colonial expansion to crush the French and their culture and force them to assimilate into a monolithic Anglo mold. It is a legacy we have to live with, but it is also a mixed blessing. We have to ask ourselves: Would we be so tolerant of other ethnic groups if the French and English hadn't have set such a cohabitative (and codependent) example? I say no. That division has made us stronger and unique.

Reluctantly, I have to side with Harper in this case. Even though his reasons for initiating this motion were less than altruistic, it seems a much more effective way of dealing with the endless volleys from the Pirate Ship Bloc than the vague, two-faced don't-upset-anyone leadership of days of yore. I wasn't one of those jackasses who marched to Montreal during the last referendum chanting "Canada loves you", but I do generally like living next to them and am willing to do so for the foreseable future. I suspect most Quebecers and Canadians for that matter feel the same in their hearts.

Let's just get the fuck on with it.

Addendum: We can't simply view this age old division in the context of the past. For a fascinating discussion about how technology is reshaping our culture/governments and pushed minority groups like Quebec to demand recognition of their otherness, you may want to check out this interview with Marshall McLuhan's son Eric (click HERE).

Urban Vignettes #3: Media and Murder

One of those urban vignettes sparked yet another Category 1 electrical synapse storm in the perilous Sea of K-Brain this morning. You may recall, a few years back during the last provincial election in Ontario, that the Tories circulated a now famous release saying something like "Dalton McGuinty is a reptilian kitten-eater". It was one in a million of frivolous, joking party-to-party news releases, but it ended up becoming an issue because the media got a hold of it and decided to make an issue of it.

Yes, the media decided to make an issue of it even though they see these things on a DAILY basis and understand the tenor and purpose of them. Subsequently, despite our reverence for the higher principles of democracy, the sophomoric phrase became the tagline that helped to undermine the Progressive-Conservative campaign.

But today, I read another blurred tagline as I sped past the Chinese Consulate on St. George Street in Toronto. The latest Falun Gong banner that backdropped a few aged protesters read: Communist Regime Kills Falun Gong For Organs.

Now, whether the claim is true or not, it sounds like a damn serious accusation to me. And it's not like it was whispered in secret circles or even sent out in an obviously snarky faux-release meant as an inside joke instead of a public statement. Nope. This is a disturbing message written in bold characters on a large banner, which accuses a government with which we enjoy warm diplomatic relations of a dark, horrific Nazi-like crime.

Wouldn't you think that at a time when the federal government's self-proclaimed crusade for human rights issues in China and around the world was an international story that our domestic media might want to take some slight note of such a claim? Nope.

I mean, I know St. George is a little out of the way compared to - oh, 1 Yonge, King or Queen Streets, but hello: If you can build a story that helped topple a provincial government based on something that was meant to be a joke, why not extend that dedicated activism to taking a very serious issue seriously and covering the fucking thing?

Tax Cuts and blah blah blah

Jim Flaherty, that little pointy faced evil leprichaun, is just about to deliver his econometric vision for the next 5,000 years. Rumours amongst the punditry say he will promise to "eliminate the total government debt in a generation". Of course, with technological advances, the lifespan of a generation has been calculated by Tory math whizes as increasing to 400 years within the next 5 minutes. So, if my calculations are correct, that means our air will be clean by the year 3,234 and our surplus will increase to $80 trillion by 2056. I might be a little off on those numbers but that's K-Dough's preliminary prediction. Bank on it!

Of course, this all hangs on the thread of a sustained Tory minority for the next 239 years. Oh, and all the poor, lame or sick people will have to be sent to Greenland, forever.

Update: Following Jimbo Shrimp's presentation, John McCallum pointed out it would take 160 years to eliminate the national debt using Flaherty's model.

40,000 Elvis Fans Can't Be Smart!

Guess what. K-dough officially topped the 40,000 hits mark tonight.

Happy whatever-the-fuck-that-means to me!

Ok, so whadda I get?

Cleaning Up Cow Town

Like all jurisdictions who all of a sudden find themselves on centre stage thinking "do I have something on my face?", Calgary is planning to curtail drunken cow boyish behaviour and turning its back on its roots, as it were. No longer will Calgarians be able to enjoy the wild-western freedoms they have held so dear for years and years.

A guy will no longer be able to chuck his buddy through a saloon-window when he finds him cheating at cards. No more will they hear the metallic sounds of zippers in the night, like swords being unsheathed after the bars, as schlongs unfurl and beer by-product gushes onto glistening sidewalks. No more will Uncle Jesse be able to spit chewin' tuhbacca bullits at the old rusty pail at the end of the porch as he watches the mail wagon pull in at high noon. They are also going to outlaw loitering, putting feet up on public benches and carrying a visible knife around.

I asked one old timer down at a local watering hole what he thought about all the fuss. He just said "well, ho-lee fuck. What's there going to be to do at all anymore around here? People are saying this is about tryin' to stifle them filthy homeless but I say this is gonna go down in the history learnin' books as the Anti-Cow Boy Edicts of '06."

It's so true old timer. So true. So kiss them doggies like yuh mean it tonight - it just might be the last time. Because this new fangled world is just a steam rollin' all over the traditions and joys of the days of old. Yessirree lawdy.

Playstation Chaos Confirms Idiot Adult-Children Theory

Well, Western society has reaffirmed the meaning of its existence today. All over the continent idiots are clamouring to purchase new Playstations. Some idiot even shot someone at a Wal-Mart for one- no doubt with bullets purchased at said Wal-Mart

You know, you'd think God, being all powerful and smart and shit would capitalize on this opportunity to skim the crud of the top of the soup of humanity. I mean all those drooling idiots congregated in specific locations to me says: Easy target for revelations-scale retribution against man for his sins.

I dunno. Maybe it's just me...

K-Dough Accepting Submissions

Yes, it's true. I am taking submisssions for book pitches in the style of O.J.'s new psycho-thetical admitting-murder-in-hindsight masterpiece called If I Did It.

While I wait for your creative ideas to pour in, here are a few options I'm looking at for ghost writing gigs at this point:

Bill Clinton, If I Put It In All the Way

Ollie North, If Reagan Knew Everything

Alfonso Gagliano, If I Hung Out With Murderers

Donald Rumsfeld, If I Knew the WMD Excuse Was Absolute Bullshit

George W. Bush, If I Couldn't Read

Wayne Gretzky, If My Wife Had A Gambling Problem

Peter Mackay, If I Still Obviously Loved An Evil Demoness

Jean Chretien, If I Didn't Axe The GST, Where Would We Be Now?

Condoleeza Rice, If I Had Known In Advance They Were Going To Fly Planes Into Buildings

Richard Nixon, If I was A Crook

Happy F-Day, you seksy phuckers!
K

Montreal Police: A Little Confused

Media reports today say female police officers in Montreal are being told to call in their male counterparts to deal with uncooperative Hasidic Jews. You see, these zealous men just can't interact with females due to their religious beliefs. Well, I for one, think this is a seriously complex issue that calls for sensitive cross-cultural communication strategies and... ok- if you fell for that you've never been here before. My solution?

You move to Canada you respect our legal institutions and those that enforce the laws of the land. If you don't, you get your ass charged with obstruction of justice. Can you imagine a black kid in Regent Park refusing to look at or talk to a female police officer while being questioned? He'd be head-locked and handcuffed before you could say Rodney King is my daddy.

Aren't we in Afghanistan trying to stop the same kind of shit from happening? Why would we come down hard on Muslims for practicing Sharia Law, yet treat Hasidic Jews with kid gloves? While these imported religious based systems are effective at keeping the courts unclogged by certain civil disputes, we can't allow their use when it comes to criminal issues. I don't think most Jews or Muslims demand that either.

Neither should get preferential treatment. I say it's one country (well, one country with one nation within that country), one law (well, one special legal system for Quebec), and one way to deal with people who expect that they should be able to follow some extra-territorial law of their choosing. It's bullshit. Next thing you know, Libertarians will be refusing to pay taxes.

Is this really what Trudeau and the gropey-huggy-feely dudes had in mind in the 70s? Nuh uh. Multiculturalism is great, as long as it does not infringe on the constitutional or charter rights of others, or violate the laws of the land. Period. Don't like it? Blow me before leaving. Oh and make me a sandwich on your way out, would ya?

Disclaimer: Before anyone starts freaking the fuck out, I have to say, I am in no way suggesting that Hasidic Jews, en masse or singularly, are defying the law. My opinion is based solely on media reports about the police newsletter circulating in Montreal instructing officers that only males should deal with Hasidic Jews. The advice contained in that newsletter may be based purely on a few isolated experiences. I don't know.

Nominate (read: validate) me!

Well, every other blog whore is asking you to nominate them for the Canadian Blog Awards (Sheena excepted), so I might as well grovel too. Someone nominate me. Please? I'll give you my collection of polaroids of blow jobs perfomed by pot-bellied French Canadian strippers from 1980s Northern metal tours. No? Ok. I'll give you my signed Guy Lafleur erection kit. On second thought, I might need that in a few years...

Ok, here is what K-Dough can do for you!

Nominate me and I'll come to your workplace and perform a naked impressionist mime treatment of Tom Waits' entire song catalogue.

Nominate me and I'll put a hot dog in every bun!

Nominate me and I'll put a cigar in every starving baby's mouth!

Nominate me and I'll put a blow-up Rona doll in every horny gun-owning redneck fuck's garage!

Nominate me and I'll put on a Richard Nixon mask, slap nipple clamps on Jason Kenney and ride him around a gay bar (The Beef Baron to be exact) screaming "why can't I be Peter's bitch?!!!!!!!".

Oh nevermind. It's useless. You hate me.

Ok, how about this: Nominate me in spite of all the lame-ass political bloggers currently nominated. Split the vote (into a pie of 3,176 pieces). Be a conscious observer if only for a moment.

If you don't nominate me I'm going to make myself puke and never talk to you again.

Love me. Look at me. Me, me, me, me, me.

No seriously- nominate me HERE!

South Africa Trumps Canada on Human Rights?

Pundification of the Day:

Yesterday, South Africa, a country with a relatively recent violent history based on INSTITUTIONAL RACISM, namely Apartheid, voted to recognize same-sex marriage. However, in ultra-modern, human rights-respecting Canada, Stephen Harper - our head of state- and many of his cro-magnon cow-fucking cronies still oppose same sex marriage.

Hmm.

Thank you and good night.

Garth Turner Champions Democracy

Just a moment ago, Garth Turner disclosed the contents of letters sent to him last week by the CPC. Turner blasted Harper and the CPC for not allowing him to run in the next election with no reasons. He is not even permitted to seek a nomination and his suspension from caucus is "indefinite" with absolutely no reasons given. Turner is resigning his party membership and will sit as an independent. He says he will seek out legal opinions on how to force parties to be democratic and listen to party members.

Turner focussed on the fact that the CPC is just like any party in Canada today with "arrogant party bosses and unelected backroom boys". Go Garth!!!! Now that's what I call an elected representative. Down with the old boys club and up with zeal and altruism.

Update: Check out some of these responses from different political stripes: Red Tory calls Turner's presser Boring, while Big City Liberal says Garth Jumps the Shark. Apparently, these guys don't see any reason at all to even discuss the validity of the claim that there is a problem across the board in Canadian political parties. I suggest that this kind of attitude IS the problem in this country. Read A Little Thought's comment within my comments section to see what people with a larger view of the issue have to say...

Toronto Votes Itself Into Yesterday!

Yesterday's municipal elections in Ontario (yawn) have come and gone and here are the results (ahem) from my on-the-street view: Same white man is mayor (burp); same white man is my city councilor (scratch); and the same white man is my school board trustee (sigh). Uh, oh yeah (hiccup): Yay, democracy! Yay, multi-culturalism!

Apparently, people overwhelmingly supported returning Mayor David Miller's extraordinary promise to unite the city under one vision, despite the fact that Toronto's official slogan is "Diversity Our Strength". Wow, were we ever on the wrong path. Thanks Dave, for that prophetic leadershi- errrr, Hallmarkesque catch phrase.

Joe Mihevc won as city councilor because, well, he's Joe Mihevc . There was no resounding rejection of his St. Clair street car right of way as was predicted by the 4 dollar store owners who oppose it.

And lastly, our school board trustee Josh Matlow won, because... um, I don't really know. In the last election, he was the only one the ballot and I guess people recognized his name this time. Or maybe it was his campaign slogan: Vote Josh- He was the only guy on the ballot last time. Plus, he's got one of those Canadian Idol kinda names!

Who knew that all of us communist-liberal, bi-sexual, pot-smoking yoga enthusiasts could vote so conservatively in our own backyards? Well, as the saying goes, you can't judge a book by the city it was published in. And me, of all people, couldn't even drag my head cold-afflicted bitch ass over to the TV to watch Warren Kinsella pundificate on City TV.

What is this world coming to?

War Stories and Faded Glories

I remember, when I was child, asking my grandfather to tell me war stories. To an assuming young neighbourhood kid who loved playing "guns" and "army" with the other boys, the fact that my grandfather had survived the First World War was about as cool as if he were Guy Lafleur. At times, I'd be sitting on his knee, asking eagerly "Did you ever kill anyone?".

He told me about how, in 1914, he had lied to recruiters in Canada about his age, so he could travel to Europe and fight. He was only 14 at the time and full of piss and vinegar and a naive spirit of adventure. He told me about wiping his ass with German money in the woods of France. He told me about the faded tattoo on his forearm that read "Winnie", who, according to him, was his cousin. He told me about the time he bayonetted a giant German, right between the ribs, only to be shot in the head and sent back to England. It was there, in the infirmary, that King George had chatted with him and presented him with a token medal. He had named his first daughter Victoria Patricia in George's honour.

By the time I had grown into early adolescence, it occurred to me that I should record some of the conversations I had with my granddad. And it is in those recordings that I found out the truth about what he felt about war. I had asked my grandfather to recount stories, by then well-known to me, about his youth and travels.

Sure, I loved the one about how he sang in a Vaudeville group called the Dumbbells and entertained audiences across the country as a female impersonator. Or the time he sang in Saint Paul's Cathedral in a choir as a young boy. Or how he trapped rattlesnakes with his hands, way up north in Buckhorn, with his Dad and shipped them to a firm in Toronto that paid for their skins.

But inevitably, in one section of the tape, I returned to my favourite question about the war. I prompted him by asking "So granddad, you were in the war, right?". "Yep", he replied in a stern voice I'd never heard before in such conversations. "Yep", "but, ahhhh, that doesn't mean anything". And thus, unglamorously had ended my journalistic foray into his military past. He had refused to read into the record the stories of death, or German brutality or wiping his ass with the Kaiser.

And now I realize why my grandfather always spurned my repeated requests for him to march in the veterans parade every November 11th. I was proud, but he wasn't. While they called it Remembrance Day, to him it was a day of sadness and regret. To me, the old world naive bravado that fuelled those celebrations and were the reason for his regret should have died with him in 1984.

So, why now can't we let those things die? Why must we continue letting our sons and daughters kill and be killed in the name of foreign interests? Political, nationalistic or macho explanations are just not good enough for me. They surely weren't enough for my grandfather in the end, when he finally grew up and gave up the illusion that war is noble.

Myths and Leprechauns

Federal Finance Minister Jim Flaherty, the little greenback loving leprechaun was laying it on extra thick yesterday. He said that if he hadn't decided to tax income trusts, the budget surplus would eventually disappear. Notwithstanding that piece of absurdly spun trash, all those magic tax cuts he is planning to buy the votes of simple people with won't help much either, will they? It's simple accounting- which is good since I'm damn simple with numbers.

You can't have it both ways Jimbo. You can't have a surplus and still decrease revenues drastically. The cash has to come from somewhere: Whether it's on the backs of the poor, sick and lame or the pockets of those who can afford it. Look at what happened when Ernie Eves tried that in Ontario: All we got was baked books and a hidden deficit lurking shyly behind the smoke and mirrors of neo-conmanship. And now, almost four years later, we are still paying for that deception.

It doesn't matter if it's now or later, Canadians will pay those taxes one way or another. Once the myth of conservative fiscal responsibility is again responsible for racking up another massive deficit by callously and irresponsibly feeding tax cuts to the savage, salivating masses, we will pay again, Jimmy. And the short-term pot-o-gold and political gains you reap from this kind of spend-by-cutting policy will toss your leprechaun ass back into opposition.

The Cantorontario Star

Everyone knows the Toronto Star is T.O.-centric. In fact, in the past, their executives have made no bones about it. Hell, that's why I read it. But something struck me this morning as I clicked through the Star's online version: Their CANADA section contains mostly stories about ONTARIO. Now this revelation may not seem so shocking to media junkies, but what exactly does it mean?

My guesses are as follows:

a) There is absolutely nothing happening anywhere else in the country that anyone wouldn't rather tear their fingernails out than read about. If a tree or government, for that matter, falls in Saskatchewan only the deer need hear.
b) Southern Ontario is indeed, the centre of the Canadian universe. Why fight it? We know you all come here disguised as Americans (not so easy for you East Coasters) on your alloted 2 week vacations every year and gaze at the big buildings and stressed out people. Admit it.
c) Toronto's mayoralty race will have real implications for the people of Nunavut. David Miller will sweep your fishing village clean of seal scraps- or at least divert them to an ecologically-efficient processing facility.
d) The Star is lazy and cheap. Unless the news falls into its lap from some spitting-distance-to-One Yonge Street source, the cost benefits do not warrant pursuing it.
e) Only people in Cantorontario read newspapers online.
f) Just after completion of the CPR, when the Star was founded, its execs adopted the slogan "If you want to know, now you can go!".

Whatever the case, the Star really needs to pull up its pants and start meeting the claim that it actually reports on national affairs in addition to Cantorontario news. If you claim it, then be accountable and prove it.

Rumsfeld is Toast

Bush is announcing, as I type, that Donald Rumsfeld- architect of evil; bitter, mean-spirited, lying, smirking fucker- is stepping down. Nice knowing ya and hope you burn in hell, you senile war pig.

House of Cards Falls

I wonder if Stephen Harper saw his future pass before his eyes as he watched hawkish girders fall from the house of cards last night on CNN? Yes, Stevie, like Americans, we are all fatigued- but not in the way you and your soda-pop swilling, armchair Rambos would dress us.

Take heart though. One day, you and GWB will be playing paint ball at a Christian dude ranch in Texas somewhere, having a laugh over sasparilla and some meaty BBQ about all the girls and boys you helped kill. Good times. And even though you won't have your soft, uncalloused exquisitely-moisturized hands all over the purse strings that strangle others, you'll always have Kandahar and video games.

So yeehaww- shoot 'em up Tex! While y'all still got all them taxpayers' bullits at yer disposal!

Education is Killing Us

Statistics Canada is reporting that there were 1.01 million university registrations this year. But what does that stat tell us in and of itself? Does it mean more of us are devoted to higher learning? Does it mean that we are churning out smarter adults? NO.

It means a bunch of other things though, that are symptoms of the sorrowful democratization of education we have experienced in this country over the past 20 years:

1. That corporate institutions are growing obese by stealing filthy amounts of money via tuition from stupid peoples' mouths and their stupid parents' credit lines.
2. That a lot more stupid people are graduating with worthless undergraduate degrees.
3. That a lot more stupid people will live the rest of their lives under the horribly mistaken illusion that they are educated, but they'll be doing the same jobs they would have qualified for in the 1980s with only a high school diploma.
4. That scores of North York, Woodbridge and Vaughan teens will continue to drive SUVs to York U every day, play cards, find spouses, drop out and grow up thinking Machiavelli is some designer who makes awesome shoes and hand bags.
5. I could go on forever here, but basically, it means that we are increasing our stupid quo exponentially.

Down with education for the stupid! Up with elitism!
Stop the madness- let them eat mud and drool in the fields where they belong!!!

Tales of Eastern Europe

In the stark absence of anything relevant, newsworthy or erudite to impart today, I leave you with the Vaudevillian cop-out that is this:

An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the thick, familiar aroma of his favourite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions and salt pork wafting up the stairs. He gathered all his remaining strength, and feebly lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

Downstairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favourite perogies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled heap. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth.

With a trembling hand he reached for a hot buttered perogie at the edge of the table, when suddenly, he felt a searing blow to his hand from a lightning-fast wooden spoon.

"Get the fuck out of here old man" she screamed. "They're for the funeral!"

Celebrity Sightings

(KP-Toronto) Some genuine Canadian celebrities were fortunate enough recently to catch glimpses of K-Dough and his intensely private daughter and wife in and around town. Rumour has it that just yesterday, Peter Mansbridge passed the three while shopping for sundries at the shi shi Forest Hill Loblaws on a lovely mid-town mid-afteroon. K-Dough's wife was heard to whisper "Geez- by the light of day, Mansbridge looks like his own father".

Only days before, while weekday brunching at Grapefruit Moon, a popular Annex eatery, radio/TV personality Dini Petty was overheard making sweet remarks to K-Dough's daughter Kay-Dough. Wrapped in her favourite embroidered jean jacket, Hello Kitty pom pom touque and Amsterdam knit scarf, the precocious child was delighted to hear Petty utter the prophetic phrase: "Wow, she's going to be the next cool chick of the future".

Ahh, the T-Dot is a glorious town, isn't it?

One Bitch to Another

I find absolutely nothing wrong with Norm Spector calling Belinda Stronach a bitch. But Norm should have qualified the definition of the word further. Bitch does not only mean what Spector and Oxford apparently say is a "malicious or treacherous" female, it can also mean lackey, subordinate and spineless politico sweaty ass-licker, when used by one man about another man.

Thus, in Norm's case, he seems specifically qualified, as one bee-yotch to another, to use the slur. If it is true that the pot can call the kettle black, shouldn't it follow that a man bitch can call a female bitch "bitch"?

Actually, come to think of it, coming from a man with a fat belly full of slimey Mulroney spooge, bitch is actually a step up. Isn't it?