An Environmental Treatise

Warning: The following blog post contains excessive use of foul language. Proceed with caution.
RATED: "R" for Retard.

If one more luxury fossil-fuel burner-driving, pin-dicked Forest Hill cocksucker honks incessantly or makes obscene gestures or comments to me while I am legally waiting in the middle of a fucking goddamn intersection to turn left on my environmentally-friendly fucking bicycle, I am going to:

• Leap from my hybrid onto said cocksucker's windshield.
• One-fist punch a hole in said windshield and in one motion rip the keys from the ignition, jamming them in his motherfucking mocha-choka-latte, country clubbing, pasty white thigh.
• Pull the vehicle to a stop as he screams and writhes in pain and his own urine.
• Pull the asshole from his polluting penis substitute by his Blackberry.
• Force him to his knees and duct tape his mouth around the tailpipe.
• Put the hammer to the metal and leave him to choke on his own toxic fumes.

Motherfucker goddamn cock shit!!!

Thanks. I feel a lot better now.

Canadian Activist Arrested in China

Chinese agents have arrested and detained 3 Canadian activists within the past 24 hours in the lead up to the official Olympics countdown ceremony. God forbid the fancy photo op party be soiled by the ugly truth of oppression. The latest victim is Canadian Lhadon Tethong, who is a leading figure in the fight to free Tibet from the brutal fist of CCP control.

Other activists have also been detained, no doubt, to prevent them from exposing China's continued terrorizing and persecution of innocent people. The Chinese government has provided no explanation to Canadian authorities.

Why does the world look the other way as China continues to abuse human rights and choke opposition to its policies? What a terrible fucking shame: And it's all about the dollar bills.

For updates on Tethong's fate, check her blog- currently being administered by a colleague-@ Beijing Wide Open

BREAKING NEWS update: CTV NEWsNet Canada is reporting that Tethong and other activists have been deported and are on a plane to Hong Kong as I type. At least they are safe!

Canada Upholds Gay Rights

175 MPs stood up and supported gay and human rights in Canada today. Huge kudos are in order for John Baird, Peter Mackay, Jim Prentice and David Emerson. You should be proud of yourselves today for voting against Stephen Harper's cynical attempt to tear people apart in Canada and trod on the established charter rights of our sisters and brothers.

The following MPs should be ashamed of letting their religious beliefs, intolerance, political aims or mean-spiritedness obscure their respect for the human rights of Canadians:

Liberals unworthy of the title: Jim Karygiannis, Derek Lee, Mr. Byrne. Mr. Wappel. Monsieur Bonier. Mr. Mcteague. Mr. Cullen. Mr. Mackay. Mr. Malley. Mr. Steckle. Mr. Tonks. Mr. Khan. Mr. Scarpaleggia.

Conservatives: Mr. O'Connor. Mr. Toews. Mr. Day. Mr. Flaherty. Mr. Clement. Mr. Strahl. Mr. Solberg. Mr. Hearn. Mrs. Hinton. Mr. Bernourge, Mr. Blackburn. Mr. Camp. Mr. Benoit. Mr. Breitkreuz. Mr. Hanger. Mr. Harris, Mr. Mills, Mr. Thompson, Mr. Williams. Mr. Anders, Mr. Casson. Mr. Mackenzie. Mr. Hebert. Mr. Kenney. Mr. Reid. Mr. Lauzon. Mrs. Yellich. Mr. Warawa. Mr. Doyle. Mr. Ritz. Mr. Fitzpatrick. Mr. Goldring. Mr. Albrecht. Mr. Allan. Mr. Lunny. Mr. Mark. Mr. Merrifield. Mr. Ragotte. Mr. Sorenson. Mr. Vellacott. Mr. Schellenberger. Mr. Alison. Mr. Batters. Mr. Bazan. Mr. Jaffer. Mr. Brown. Mr. Hawn. Mr. Lake. Monsieur Lemieux. Mr. Pallister. Mr. Epp. Mr. Mayes. Monsieur Pettite. Mr. Sweet. Mr. Van Kesteran. Mr. Wallace. etc...

A Vote Against Tolerance

Today, some elected representatives in our national parliament will be voting to say "While gays and lesbians currently enjoy the same rights and freedoms as all of us normal people, we think some of those rights should be revoked". Well, hell, while we are at it why don't we vote to revoke women's right to vote? Why don't vote to send 10 year olds into factories to fill the gap in supply of cheap manufacturing workers and maximize profits? In fact, why don't we just solve this problem at its root and vote to make Christianity our offical religion?

If Christianity were our official religion, then maybe we could all forget about these troubling, complex laws and live by the wonderful fairy tale lessons of the bible. It'd be great. We could all get married, have kids and go to church. And when our kids were old enough, we could send them off to other countries to maim and kill people who aren't Christians, because, hey, let's face it: God loves that shit. On the weekends, we could roast marshmallows over burning witches (i.e. university educated women) and covet our neighbours asses! Oops, wait that's a no no. I forgot that anything with the word ass in it is bad.

Turbans? Burkas? Sikh daggers? Male sarongs on Church Street? They'd all be banned. But all the barbarians would be compensated with free Jesus is My Homeboy shirts paid for by your tax dollars!

Look, Stephen Harper would have Canadians believe that he is doing this out of principle, but it is nothing more than cynical window-dressing for the ugly truth: He is trying to appease a portion of his constituency that is bitter and intolerant. And he is counting on ahandful of bitter, intolerant Liberal caucus members to help him. The only lynching these draconian fucking goobers will see - Liberal and neo-con alike- will be their own political lynching at the hands of their own defeat today.

Trample on others rights in your own backyards you insensitive assholes, but leave the established charter rights of citizens as valuable as your own children alone. Mark my words kiddies, Harper will burn at the polls for this.

UPDATE: I'm reposting this one today as well sexies. Vote is today. Harper and his cabinet ministers didn't even bother to stick around for the debate last night. It's that important to those hit 'n run social policy trolls.

Urban Vignettes #3: Media and Murder

One of those urban vignettes sparked yet another Category 1 electrical synapse storm in the perilous Sea of K-Brain this morning. You may recall, a few years back during the last provincial election in Ontario, that the Tories circulated a now famous release saying something like "Dalton McGuinty is a reptilian kitten-eater". It was one in a million of frivolous, joking party-to-party news releases, but it ended up becoming an issue because the media got a hold of it and decided to make an issue of it.

Yes, the media decided to make an issue of it even though they see these things on a DAILY basis and understand the tenor and purpose of them. Subsequently, despite our reverence for the higher principles of democracy, the sophomoric phrase became the tagline that helped to undermine the Progressive-Conservative campaign.

But today, I read another blurred tagline as I sped past the Chinese Consulate on St. George Street in Toronto. The latest Falun Gong banner that backdropped a few aged protesters read: Communist Regime Kills Falun Gong For Organs.

Now, whether the claim is true or not, it sounds like a damn serious accusation to me. And it's not like it was whispered in secret circles or even sent out in an obviously snarky faux-release meant as an inside joke instead of a public statement. Nope. This is a disturbing message written in bold characters on a large banner, which accuses a government with which we enjoy warm diplomatic relations of a dark, horrific Nazi-like crime.

Wouldn't you think that at a time when the federal government's self-proclaimed crusade for human rights issues in China and around the world was an international story that our domestic media might want to take some slight note of such a claim? Nope.

I mean, I know St. George is a little out of the way compared to - oh, 1 Yonge, King or Queen Streets, but hello: If you can build a story that helped topple a provincial government based on something that was meant to be a joke, why not extend that dedicated activism to taking a very serious issue seriously and covering the fucking thing?

Montreal Police: A Little Confused

Media reports today say female police officers in Montreal are being told to call in their male counterparts to deal with uncooperative Hasidic Jews. You see, these zealous men just can't interact with females due to their religious beliefs. Well, I for one, think this is a seriously complex issue that calls for sensitive cross-cultural communication strategies and... ok- if you fell for that you've never been here before. My solution?

You move to Canada you respect our legal institutions and those that enforce the laws of the land. If you don't, you get your ass charged with obstruction of justice. Can you imagine a black kid in Regent Park refusing to look at or talk to a female police officer while being questioned? He'd be head-locked and handcuffed before you could say Rodney King is my daddy.

Aren't we in Afghanistan trying to stop the same kind of shit from happening? Why would we come down hard on Muslims for practicing Sharia Law, yet treat Hasidic Jews with kid gloves? While these imported religious based systems are effective at keeping the courts unclogged by certain civil disputes, we can't allow their use when it comes to criminal issues. I don't think most Jews or Muslims demand that either.

Neither should get preferential treatment. I say it's one country (well, one country with one nation within that country), one law (well, one special legal system for Quebec), and one way to deal with people who expect that they should be able to follow some extra-territorial law of their choosing. It's bullshit. Next thing you know, Libertarians will be refusing to pay taxes.

Is this really what Trudeau and the gropey-huggy-feely dudes had in mind in the 70s? Nuh uh. Multiculturalism is great, as long as it does not infringe on the constitutional or charter rights of others, or violate the laws of the land. Period. Don't like it? Blow me before leaving. Oh and make me a sandwich on your way out, would ya?

Disclaimer: Before anyone starts freaking the fuck out, I have to say, I am in no way suggesting that Hasidic Jews, en masse or singularly, are defying the law. My opinion is based solely on media reports about the police newsletter circulating in Montreal instructing officers that only males should deal with Hasidic Jews. The advice contained in that newsletter may be based purely on a few isolated experiences. I don't know.

South Africa Trumps Canada on Human Rights?

Pundification of the Day:

Yesterday, South Africa, a country with a relatively recent violent history based on INSTITUTIONAL RACISM, namely Apartheid, voted to recognize same-sex marriage. However, in ultra-modern, human rights-respecting Canada, Stephen Harper - our head of state- and many of his cro-magnon cow-fucking cronies still oppose same sex marriage.

Hmm.

Thank you and good night.

Human Rights in Slow Motion

Yesterday, on the way to work, I had one of those epiphanic moments. I don't know if this happens to you, but sometimes my mind zooms in on an urban vignette somewhere in the city, like a tight cinematic close-up. Often, the profound thoughts this sparks are lost in the subsequent hurricane of daily tasks. But sometimes, I remember.

Every day, I bike past the Chinese consulate in Toronto. And every day, some elderly Falun Gong practitioner stands in front of the cold gates, performing Tai Chi-like poses, in quiet, passive protest against China's brutal persecution of their group. In reality, these geriatric, turtle-like exercisers pose no threat to anyone. But the communist government in China is afraid of any kind of organized movement and thus (allegedly) kills, maims and tortures them.

Yesterday. the remarkable vision of that little old woman slowly stretching her muscles, bones and tendons, in a free country -- in plain view of her enemies -- with the somehow anachronistic white buds of iPod headphones sticking out from under her rain hat was not lost on me. A history of palpable violence and stern defiance lurked behind the seeming peacefulness of her wrinkled face. That little woman represented the best that Canada has to offer the world; the judicious power of a commitment to maintain human rights.