An Environmental Treatise
Warning: The following blog post contains excessive use of foul language. Proceed with caution.
RATED: "R" for Retard.
If one more luxury fossil-fuel burner-driving, pin-dicked Forest Hill cocksucker honks incessantly or makes obscene gestures or comments to me while I am legally waiting in the middle of a fucking goddamn intersection to turn left on my environmentally-friendly fucking bicycle, I am going to:
RATED: "R" for Retard.
If one more luxury fossil-fuel burner-driving, pin-dicked Forest Hill cocksucker honks incessantly or makes obscene gestures or comments to me while I am legally waiting in the middle of a fucking goddamn intersection to turn left on my environmentally-friendly fucking bicycle, I am going to:
- Leap from my hybrid onto said cocksucker's windshield.
- One-fist punch a hole in said windshield and in one motion rip the keys from the ignition, jamming them in his motherfucking mocha-choka-latte, country clubbing, pasty white thigh.
- Pull the vehicle to a stop as he screams and writhes in pain and his own urine.
- Pull the asshole from his polluting penis substitute by his Blackberry.
- Force him to his knees and duct tape his mouth around the tailpipe.
- Put the hammer to the metal and leave him to choke on his own toxic fumes.
Motherfucker goddamn cock shit!!!
Thanks. I feel a lot better now.
Labels: Environment, Human Rights
posted by K-Dough at 8:36 AM
17 Comments:
Happy Suck-My-Dick-Day biotches!
PB- excited about tonight. Yeeeehaww yessirree lawdy dawg.
LOL!!! I'm appalled at the road-rage out there. It's amazing how people lose all sense of how out of shape and useless they would be in a real confrontation when they're behind the wheel.
I too, was tempted to shove a fat-headed little guy's teeth down his throat when he yelled at a clearly mentally disabled woman who wasn't crossing the street quickly enough for him. I yelled at him. He told me to fuck off, I told him to get out of his car and tell me to my face, he kept saying "fuck you" so I got out of my car and walked toward him. I don't know what I would have done, but the little pecker drove off of course. Cock-smoker. Ruined the rest of my day.
Me tooooo KD!!... SO excited!
leatherhands.. I think I like you a lot.
This is the best post ever!
Re: tonight- nothing covert.
Country twanger-sometimes alt rocker-substance abuser Ryan Adams is playing at Massey Hall.
Leather- loved your rage story!
Anyone else wanna share the boiling anger?
Yaaay!! Ryan Adams!!
I'm going to marry him!.. but just for a little while.
Yeah, I'll share ...
I spilled my latte on a $3k Armani suit this morning as I narrowly avoided ending the poor unfortunate pathetic life of some asshole, who was in the middle of an intersection on a goddamned invisible bicycle- it's a big bad suv world out there so do us all a favour and just stay the hell out of the way!
Do like princess bitch- take the subway. Then I won't be tempted to run you over every day from now on!
So, how was your ride in this morning?
LOL. Where have you been doll face? Uncle K misses you.
I've stopped in a few times this week, but have been busy as hell at work. I'm home today and it's mahvelous..
good for you - you deserve it!
I think.
Ahh.... you urbanites! This is why I live in a picturesque victorian village in the middle of "fucking" nowhere....
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amen
K-Dough, I'm sorry!
You're heartfelt rebuttal was all I needed to see the error of my ways.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart (which is deep inside my body)!
BTW- I scrapped the Hummer and bought two Smart cars; one for the little woman and one for little olde me!
Sincerely
Cid
KD, while I'm one of those SUV gas guzzling bastards driving down the freeway, I do sympathize with your plight.
I have to confess though of fondly remembering the stupid shit who decided hanging onto the back of my SUV was a good way to save energy... until I stopped dead in my tracks, and he went flying over the roof to land in the street in front of me.
I suppose it was worse that I accidently backed up the truck over his bike, but hey, I needed to see that he wasn't under the front of the truck.
I also remember the little son of a bitch who thought cruising up and down between the vehicle lanes was a god given freedom, until I opened the door...
While I have no particular issue with bikes, I have a big issue with bicyclers who fail to obey the rules of the road, and little sympathy.
Especially bike couriers who ride on the sidewalk, down the wrong way on the road, cut in front of me with no handsignal, or blast through the intersection on a red light, or ride down the god damn freeway (which is illegal in Calgary) despite all the fucking signs that say "NO BICYCLES".
What really fries my ass though, is two or more riding side by side.
You get the idea...
Homo,
In the Crumpled Beauty blog, K-Dough mused in response to a Leatherhands comment:
"That could be the next Madonna single: "Beautiful Cocksucker".
To be honest, I don't really know what is so pejorative about that word. Sounds warm and kind to me."
Is that enough for you?
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