Habsolutely Riveting!
Forget about Emerson and Shapiro. Heave aside the Iraqi and Afghani wars for a bit. We have a different battle brewing right here within our borders this week. The glorious Montreal Canadiens and the has-been Toronto Maple Loafs are set to duel it out in a mini-series of sorts. And the games promise to be barn-burners, with both teams desperately needing points. Toronto will be blindly last-stabbing at the long shot possibility of making the playoffs; and Montreal will be attempting to hold on to the last slot in the Conference by a frayed, yet sinewy thread. While my friends and I tend to verbally beat the shit out of each other over this rivalry, I have to say this: I love every painful minute of it. I love it so much that I am having about 15 of them over to my house this weekend to consume mass quantities of alcohol, sausage and pierogies in order to celebrate that love, and to mercilessly rub those runny blue and white noses in their own miserable tears after their team is decimated by les glorieux! Too bad ChuckerCanuck can't be here to celebrate- but he's in a better place now.
Habs and Leafs jerseys rubbing and tipping elbows.
Passive aggression. Comradery. Beer.
What could be more Canadian and sacred than these things?
posted by K-Dough at 9:30 AM
70 Comments:
Then let it be declared that Chuckercanuck will pick up pierogies from the fabulous polish deli on Decarie and munch them and their fried oignon counterparts at the same time.
Koivu, Kovalev and the swiss/french guy Huet will make mincemeat of those wussy Leafs.
Vive les tri-colores!!!
Looking forward to the Leafs taking an easy 4 points from the weasel habs this week. Hard to beat the Leafs dishing out back to back crushing defeats to the habs right in Montreal. Bring on the hab-free playoffs!!!
In other news, I have to comment on the disgraceful protests about the Iraq war. Hard to believe left wingers still can’t accept the great work being done by the Americans. How have the lessons of the World War 1 and 2 been forgotten so quickly? The bottom line is democracy is worth fighting for and freedom is NOT free. With zero thanks to the United Nations, Iraq has been liberated from the iron fist of a ruthless dictatorship. Shame on liberals everywhere for not thanking America!!!
The good news is Mr. Bush isn't interested in running for the liberal leadership. Too bad Mitsou isn't either...
Gee, I don't follow hockey. Who exactly is #1 in the Eastern Conference? And what about this "Battle of Ontario"? Please, fill me in!
Forever Blue- You should change your moniker to Forever Blew (Mike Harris).
I can't beleaf you are still on about Bush. You'd think you would have learned your lesson re: supporting losing, empty causes (Flyers, Leafs, illegal foreign invasions).
Either way, we will hoist a pint and perogie together Saturday and agree to disagree like true friends do.
Pam- are you being coy, you little Sens groupie?
Hate to admit it, but I'm a Hockey loser too. My heroes were Dave Keon, and especially Jaques Plante. I even had a Jaques Plante mask. (From Simpsons.) Years later, I was on the exhibit crew that helped put together the current Hockey Hall Of Fame in TO, and I actually held one of Plante's masks in my hand before it went into the display case. I just about shit my pants. Then something happened...I don't know if it was the helmets that made everyone look like automatons...you couldn't tell who had long hair, who had bushy sideburns (wasn't Derek Sanderson the coolest? Long hair AND burns!)and they all got really big. Really fuckin' big. No more free-wheeling breakaways, no more defensemen getting undressed by stick-handling finesse...just a big body builder getting creamed by another big bodybuilder when he touches the puck. Help me k-dough.....help me find the magic again, before I suffer through another Jays season...
leather- you and forever blue have a lot in common- esp. the hhof thing...
My favourite old hockey insult: "She's seen more rubber than Jacaques Plante!"
I resent that, K. Oddly, my leaf-loving friends have accused me of the same thing when I've called looking for the score several times when they HAPPENED to be losing. They couldn't believe that I was actually stuck in traffic at 9:30 at night with nothing but my cell and Sens jersey. They are a touchy bunch.
Pam- resent or resemble?
pam -
senators, like their political counterparts, are all bluster. when the chips are down, they all look longingly at their summer breaks and lose, lose, lose.
letherhands -
once, Mike Ribeiro sent a puck into the stands during a hockey game. It hit me on the forehead. No joke.
the arena? the Dave Keon arena in Noranda, Quebec. freaky, eh?
(my joke at the time was, "1 english guy in this whole god damned arena and the puck finds his head. Coincidence? I doubt it!)
Resent.
Pam: Will it make you feel better if I swallow (my pride) and begrudgingly admit that your team have an awesome chance of going all the way this year?
beer, hockey, and (may I suggest) inviting Kathryn Humphries?
It would make my day, baby.
Pam- anything for you...
Peter- got her number? call her. she could pop out of the giant helmeted dick cake I have planned!
Chucky boy, we will see who will make mincemeat of whom. As for montreal, I noticed something. The team plays good when Huet is in the goal but played like crap when theodore was there and now with the other guy called abeisher or something.
As for the leafs, we need eddie back because tellie likes giving up soft goals.
K-Dough, it is supposed to be Vive le leafs!
joanne,
I also noticed the Habs play better when playing for their national teams. Arggggh.
Joanne,
I'm sorry but what NHL are you watching? The Habs' new goalies are good but not impressive yet. Theodore was a loss (even with the money laundering and performance enhancing substances).
Toronto, on the other hand is MUCH better without Belfour. Telqvist is playing phenominal hockey and might take lead goalie. The Lord knows that young blood is needed if the Leafs want to make it into the post season. Belfour and his crickity-broken back can't do anything anymore.
Peter- I think you need to be more specific about the "young blood" part of your prescription.
To be precise, in order for the Leafs to succeed, they need to drink the young blood of a virgin chicken, sacificed at the crossroads in Louisiana, at the exact stroke of midnight.
No doubt the Sens fans are very pleased with themselves right now. Hopefully they haven't forgotten the sting of previous playoff flops. Emery and the often injured / always brittle Hasek are shaky ground to build Cup dreams on. Lack of second line scoring could come back to haunt them as well. Another haunting prospect – facing the Leafs again.
With the habs stepping aside to open a spot for the Leafs, the battle of Ontario is on again!!!
forever blue,
Unless you are Hasek's GP and know something I don't, none of this is news to the Sens fans. Emery has done quite well, but we do need the Dominator. And I'm sure we all remember too well how the Sens choked in the last few playoffs. I, for one, would like to forget but my leaf/habs friends remind me daily. That said, I think Ottawa still has the best chance of taking home that cup.
The Habs aren't stepping aside for anyone. We've been here before, we've won the cup from this position. We'll win it again this year - so jiminy cricket told me.
Anyway, Leafs will fall, get raked up and composted. Sens will collapse under the weight of their own self-importance.
And I'll have a little of what chucker is smoking.
Poor Mats Sundin will be lucky if he has enough strength left in his feeble aged-limbs to lift a shotgun to his temple, once he realizes his career-long dream is once again destroyed by the terrible curse of the great Imposters.
You Leaf fans can however take comfort in the fact that, as you age, your anxiety will recede into the depths of your increasingly diminishing faculties, and that maybe someday, before a nurse is wiping pablum from your chin, that the Imposters may at least make it past the 3rd round once again.
K-Dough and others, here is some leaf facts.
Leafs have made it to all the playoffs under Pat Quinn.
Maple leafs are the richest NHL team.
Air Canada Centre is the best rink in the world with the best ice and lighting.
Ed Belour is way better than Tellie.
Anybody seen Mat Sundin playing lately? He is damn good.
And this "bad" Toronto team will kick the Habs butt on thursday and saturday.
Warning to Joanne and others who have chosen misery over pure hockey delight: Next week, there will be no consolling offered on this blog, after the last glimmer of hope of a Leaf post-season is crushed like a tiny insect into a smear of blueish bug guts under the awesome offensive power of the boys in bleu, blanc et rouge.
K-Dough I can't tell the future so we shall wait and see who wins and who loses.
Joanne- ahhhhh, see that's the difference. Unlike you I can tell the future. I have an enhanted magic fuzzy jockstrap that I tie to my face and chant the words:
Rocket!
Rocket!
Rocket in my pocket!
..and then I ... oh nevermind.
Be careful, while your are chanting "Rocket, Rocker, Rocket" because a real rocket might come and drop on your head. then don't tell me I didn't warn you.
My review of Joanne's comment:
Yikes! Astounding, and eerily entertaining.
Well, great ice, lighting AND Pat Quinn. Wow. Pat Quinn...Isn't he the coach that took a 100 million $ worth of Canadian hockey players and turned them into the Leafs a few weeks ago? Oh, maybe they would have done better with proper LIGHTING.
Same pat Quinn who gave Canada its first gold medal in men's hockey in 50 years. Yeah I think it is the same but then many people have memory loss.
joanne,
no gold without Lemieux.
we would have won had Greztky and Quinn not been so snitty with Crosbie.
I had the pleasure of watching Lemieux and Crosbie this fall in Pittsburgh.
Crosbie is a fantastic player. I can't wait until he free agents his way to Montreal.
Lighting and MAKE-UP!!! And everyone knows a hockey team is nothing without proper accessories (sold separately of course).
K, my son reminds me of that every time we go to Canadian Tire. (Don't start with me).
Chucker: Don't forget Bertuzzi. His ass shoulda been sitting back here, watching the proceedings from a sports bar.
Not to montreal chucky boy but to toronto. AS for lemieux, not fault of quinn or gretzky. he was sick.
and crosbie, again not fault of quinn because he is not part of the player selection.
Not to montreal chucky boy but to toronto. AS for lemieux, not fault of quinn or gretzky. he was sick.
and crosbie, again not fault of quinn because he is not part of the player selection.
Pam: You should sing it to him. Drive him crazy every time he whines about wanting something new. Sing it over and over again:
Don't start with me!
Don't start with me!
Don't start with me!
Don't start with me!
Don't start with me!
Don't start with me!
I miss those bastards already.
Bertuzzi wasn't playing good because moore came up with his huge lawsuit on the first day canada was playing. Now if I was sued $20 million for emotional stress, I would also not play good.
which bastards do you miss K-Dough, your kids or pam's kids?LOL
Joanne, I have to admit that the timing of that lawsuit was in poor taste. I also think that Spezza and Crosbie should have played, but shoulda, woulda, coulda..Too late now.
K-Dough, I'll try that next time he tries to him me up for a $100 hockey stick.
We're all hockey professionals at the moment.
I recall a year ago they were predicting the NHL would die from the strike - apparently not.
Either way, Toronto Rules and Montreal Drools. That's my mature comment.
Besides Toronto has better looking women.
No- I mean Bertuzzi shouldn't have been on the team at all, because it destroyed morale.
Joanne- the bastards are the Canadian Tire couple...
Pam: $100 hockey stick- you are kidding!
Peter: blow me (in a friendly way)
K-Dough: Would I lie to you?
peter: Everyone knows Ottawa has the best looking female fans. Blow K-Dough.
I miss him too. The new guys are frig-wad incompetents. I need someone who can handle a simonizer like a girl in a Vietnemese massage parlour.
Montreal has ,uhhh...how shall I put it....more adventurous women.
Chucker - you said "I need someone who can handle a simonizer like a girl in a Vietnemese massage parlour."
LOL.
A round of colonics for all my friends!
With respect to womenly aesthetics: There is no geographical monopoly on beauty.
You can always find a hot chick in places you'd least expect them.
Failing that - in a pinch- an oven mitt full of mashed potatoes works nicely.
Pam- you are quite the bright light yourself! (ie witty!). I love it.
I don't really care about either of these teams, but I do care about peirogies...
I think peirogies will win every time. No contest. It will be peirogies 6, Habs and Leafs 0.
H-
K-Dough now I see, you miss the "hello neighbour" people. I am happy they are gone. you should see how they are mocked on Air Farce on CBC.
Pam, you got it right. lighting sucks in montreal that is why LH finds the women there "pretty". If they had better lighting then that would be a different case altogther.
Let it be known:
I hate Air Farce worse than I hate the Canadian Tire freaks.
At least Air Farce is better than "funniest home videos" which aren't funny at all.you guyz are so into all those american reality crap that you can't appreciate a good canadian show.next you will tell me that you hate Rick Mercer's Report.
Now I am leaving because I have to finish studying before the hockey game starts. One thing is for sure that there won't be any black outs in Air Canada centre like there was in pittsburg on sunday. it was damn funny, and the penguins desperately need a new arena.
K-Dough- you are far too kind. Someone must have let it slip that I make some kick-ass homemade perogies.Have you tried them deep-fried?
chucker- a few beers, a losing hockey team, poor lighting? Sounds like a Leaf's love story.."I'll ssshhow you how to sh-score, baby!!"
Ditto what marksomething said. Tonight, there are no other games. But I still dig The Hockey Sweater.
Love that film- brings a tear to my eye everytime I see it!
gotta go watch American Idol and swap notes with Randy.
update:Montreal lost to Islanders and got kicked out of the last playoff spot by Atlanta.
Oh and Leafs beat Hurricanes.;-)
I'm droopy- but not disheartened...
stay tuned kiddies, gonna be a bumpy but wild ride to the finish!!!!!!!!!!
K-Dough, the leafs are just three points behind Habs and if they beat the Habs on both games, guess who is going ahead of the Habs.
TML-The passion that unites us all!
Yikes chuckers, you watch american Idol? there are loads of shows you can watch, even canadian idol but you choose that show. there is probably a japanese, chinese and indian idol too. Watch one of those for a change.
Hey, my power is out. Does anyone know if the Sens won?
duhhhh if your power is out how are you able to use your computer?
It's a freaking miracle!
leather- That's not the room - that's the water bed filled with mayonnaise you woke up on. Wait- that's not mayonnaise! Gasp!
Anyways All- my bravado is gone. I'm chewing my fingers down to bloody stumps after the Habs' loss last night. Well, at least my weekend Leaf-Habs bash promises to be an exciting one!
leatherhands,
that post is worth $1 million.
joanne,
Canadian Idol is on this summer. I will be watching.
World Idol would have me hooked too.
As for last night, Barry Manilow rocks!
Chucker- did actually just say "Barry Manilow rocks"? Wow- you really are a Tory.
Chuckercanuck, say it ain't so, you're a fanilow?
You're breaking my heart here. I could never marry a fanilow. (sob)
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