Mitsou for Leader!

Public Notice: I hereby nominate Mitsou, French-Canadian sex goddess, cultural guru and musical artist for the leadership of the Liberal Party of Canada. Not only is Mitsou completely bilingual, she is hot as hell. Hotter than over-microwaved poutine. Hotter than Kiss' classic song Hotter Than Hell. Mitsou is so hot, she could set ablaze the petrified wooden panties of that sexually-ambiguous sasquatch, Deborah Grey. Let the bland young Liberals and toothless party faithful debate Brison, Bob and Belinda. But without Mitsou, the party will never again reach across the lap of this country and gently brush it's inner thigh as if it didn't mean to, with a coquettish smile.

Can't you just hear Bye Bye Mon Cowboy blasting through a convention centre in the next election, as Mitsou sashays across the stage with a giant cardboard cut-out of that picture of Harper in a Stetson? This is forward thinking - something sadly missing from the current dialogue.

Mitsou, if you are out there right now reading this, sitting in front of the fuzzy pink computer in your chic boudoir, wearing nothing but a sheer, tight white tank top and tracing the edge of your coffee cup with a slightly-moistened index finger: You must contact me ASAP so we can begin to put your winning campaign in motion. Now that Martin is gone, there are some boobs to fill. We'll re-brand and turn that tired old Liberal Party into the fresh and sexy Ample Party it could be!