Oh, Jann-ada!
Canada is once again honouring some very beautiful and/or very rich former Canadians (who now live in the U.S., are paid in American funds and pay American taxes) on our very own little sidewalk of fame in Toronto's theatre district. And once again, we are being Can-conned! The list includes stupor model, amateur porn star and battered chicken activist Pamela Anderson; dopey teen stoner B-movie actor Brendan Fraser; disturbingly Spock-like U.S. citizen Alex Trebek, who lives in Studio City, and owns a horse ranch in California; and creepy crooning moustached man Robert Goulet, who was born in Massachusetts and now lives in Las Vegas. The only thing arguably Canadian about these people is their genetic origin. The lone real live Canadian person in the bunch is Calgary native and infinitely talented singer/songwriter Jann Arden- who by all reports STILL LIVES IN CANADA! Now, I'm not exactly a soft n' sweet, full-figured chick-angst music lover. I'm more of a - how you say - hardcore metal and punk rivet head. Notwithstanding, Jann is ay-o-fuckin'-kay in my books baby.
You go, you big beautiful real Canadian girl!
posted by K-Dough at 7:04 AM
31 Comments:
Cudos to Jann and well deserved.
I'm horrified that Brendan Fraser is Canadian.
I could never understand the disconnect with Jann....she's witty/funny/charming/self-depracating/an absolute fucking scream in person, yet she writes whiny/self-absorbed/everybody hates me/ I think I'm going to have to kill myself songs.
I'm very happy for her though...
Leatherhands- She writes what chix dig. At least there is genuine feeling in what she writes --something conspicuously and sadly missing in most pop music. Which is why I absolutely despise most pop music.
Anyway- this disconnect you speak of is only a warning sign reading "Caution: Complex Intense Human Ahead". I'll take that in friends and lovers anyday over Ms. Fake 'n Bake Ditz Pammie, and her only 80% bio-degradable self.
Ohhh, make no mistake. I've always wanted to save her from whatever misery she's in. Over and over again. Pam doesn't even show up on my woody radar...she's just a blow-up doll.
As for pop music in general...don't even go there.
I hear ya. It's the ole "once you've seen 'em naked you don't need to see 'em again" thing. Or is it the "once you've seen them fully penetrated on video" thing?
I don't know, but if I keep up with this stream of conciousness, I'm going to piss off all the sensitive women I tried to attract to this thread by posting about Jann Arden. Guess I'm just being "Insensitive" again..
Opps, did I step into the locker room by misake? Girls allowed??
Oh good God K-Dough, we're scaring girls away. Just what you were afraid of. Please, please stay......we like Jann Arden!
Girls are always allowed in the locker room. In fact, after the last Olympics, I'd have to say they belong there more than men.
I'm not just brown-nosing here. Seriously.
Pssst- leatherhands- how was that? Ssssh. I think I hear someone coming. Quick, pick up that fork and eat some quiche!!!!!!
OK..OK...I'll eat the quiche. But if you put that fuckin' Ingenue disc on, I'm outta here
Thanks, boys.
Guys might really prefer Jann over Pamela? I might have some desert after my quiche;)
(I do love Jann)
Don't worry- I'll fit you with an earpiece and crank Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast. No one will ever know, while you smile politely and nod as we all discuss today's episode of The View, or how - even though we are guys- we can't get enough of The Bachelor.
I'm packing my lipstick and thong and leaving this party if we have to talk about reality TV.
Gee anonymous...thanks...thanks a lot. I was already struggling to stay productive today, and you had to say lipstick and thong in the same sentence. Christ almighty.
Anonymous- let's just put it this way:
Pammie is like: One of those nights when you drink way too much, say a bunch of loud stupid things to a bunch of loud stupid people, laugh, puke and end up cramming half a cold pizza into your head, with your pants around your ankles at 3 am. Feels good. Inhibitions are low. And it really hurts the next day, so you only do it once in awhile.
Jann is like:
A comfortable station wagon ride to the movies, a glass of white zinfandel, a giantic bowl of ice cream with double fudge chocolate sauce and falling asleep at 9 pm while watching Fried Green Tomatoes.
Legherhands- imagine if she had've said Thong Stick! (I don't know what that is, but it sounds titilating!)
I don't know why exactly, but I am laughing hysterically. Could be exhaustion. Thong stick sounds a bit scary...I just pictured the scene in Wayne's World where I'm that fucking geek Garth intruding on your (Wayne's) fantasy with Heather Locklear. Why the hell am I here...
Dammit, what have I been missing? The commercials are during The Batchelor, I'll bet.
LeatherHands: You are here precisely because you need to laugh hysterically!
NOTICE- I already have a team of sexually deviant midget Norweigian scientists working on a prototype and patent. Here is what my communications people have put together:
Ladies, find a comfy chair,
cuz we are about to rock your pants off with the
new incredibly flexible, extendable, multi-textured,
aero-dynamically engineered
for maximimum pleasure...
Thong Stick(tm)!
Now I am scared. What the heck.
If you can get Jann Arden to endorse it on The Shopping Channel, hell, you can count me in!
K-dough. As your VP of R&D, West Coast Division, here is an update:
1) The midget Norweigian scientists have undertaken a work slowdown in protest of your refering to them as 'sexually deviants', which they assume is a reference to their collective penchant for hardcore midget porn. As their union rep quite properly points out, such a proclivity is entirely normal, seeing as how they are, in fact, midgets.
2) Labour arrest notwithstanding, some progress has been made on the prototype, although your rudimentary technical diagrams (is that crayon?) were ambiguous as to what you wanted for the 3rd texture. They've gone with "studded" for now, but can retool for "ridged" without too much trouble. "Burlap" is another matter entirely. (Speaking of which, is 'personal lubricant' covered by our group extended medical?)
Anonymous: endorse it? She is our Manager of Product Testing!!
K-Dough:
Just dropped over after visiting Chucker's site and enjoying squid's posting on women.
What a contrast to then read your Jann Arden post?
Curious though why are you using a dated 45 cent stamp for your front page rather than a 51 cent stamp.
Getting dated are we old man?
Not getting dated these days- married.
On the stamp-just liked the art work...bright- vibrant- like I used to be!!
I hate to interrupt this Twilight Zone episode but -
Jann Arden is like the lovely neighbour that you have over for BBQs. When the first floor bathroom is occupied, she's allowed up to the 2nd floor. But that's the closest she'll ever get to a bedroom without access to a date rape drug that doesn't turn my whiskey purple.
Pamela Anderson is like.... uhh.. my wife.
But, just to keep the girls happy:
"I look to the mountain, I look to the fountain, I danced round in circles and went back to the fountain - closer I am to find, yeah."
now that's sensitive.
You oafs, you just don't get it. We had an anonymous chick over with a thong and lipstick...ready to try K-dough's fucking "Thong Stick" tm ....and you're questioning us? K-dough isn't just a stamp...he's the swing-master general!!
leatherhands,
that was a good one.
I think I'll be coming back to visit this place;)
Swingmaster General...hmm that's got legs!!!
What can I say: Anonymous girls turn me on.
leatherhands "Insensitive" is the be-all end-all "I think I have to dump you, you stupid jerk" song. One has to ask why your hands are leather.
What is it with the thong stick(tm)? Jesus, can't the midgets glue something interesting onto a chopstick & call it a day? How hard can this be?
That's exactly what they keep asking themselves Candace- "How hard can this be?"
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