Harper's Secret Weapon
Not that this isn't already public knowledge, but I just want to profile a few points about this tough guy, Stephen Harper, who doesn't "cut and run". First, he loves the movie When Harry Met Sally. Secondly, he doesn't drink alcohol. Thirdly, he adores cats. Yeah, we have a name for guys like that in Canada: Emmanuel Sandhu.Is this the right guy to be protecting us from evil terrorists?
Harper's Anti-Terrorist Policy: Ok now, use some decorum and put down that dirty bomb, would you? Oh, and please remove your plastic-explosive filled shoes when you enter Canada. This is a polite society, you know. We weren't raised in barns. Here, pet my kitty while I read you an excerpt from the romance novel I'm currently reading. Say, would you like some freshly-squeezed lemonade with that? Extra sugar! Hee hee. Now, doesn't that feel better? You don't really want to hurt anyone do you? Here- I'll fluff up a pillow, light some scented candles and you can tell me all about your father...
posted by K-Dough at 7:12 AM
41 Comments:
I'm not talking staggering polluted like Klein-baby, but Harper should really put down the soda-pop and pick up a bottle of scotch or Grolsch.
As a sweatervest colleague mentioned, "Lord, if you're going to drink tonnes of empty calories, at least get a buzz off them."
Non-imbibing does not a peacelover make, but it certainly doesn't help.
All the best wars were started and fought by drunken, kitten haters.
I have never trusted people who don't drink. They are shifty, giddy and just plain freakish.
k-dough,
that would be my assessment too, until -
1997. summer. Bullmoose Coal Mine, northern BC. haul truck training. 12 hours with a freak from the hills. We drive past a grader. He waves to the grader operator and says to me,
"that's teabag charlie."
"why you call him that?"
"he doesn't drink booze. just tea."
"why's that?"
"he gets violent. couldn't handle it."
"that sucks."
"oh don't worry, he still smokes pot."
the grader operators cab goes orange with the burning embers of what I hope is a cigarette.
That's some "Grade A" shit Chucker...
BTW- check out the link on my page to Canadian Iconoclasts- my buddy and I are starting a new roll with an RSS feed page...
We should just leave character entirely out of politics. It just doesn't matter.
Harper's a teetotalling wimp? Who cares! He wants to cut taxes to the poor to give them to the rich (if you don't believe me, check out his platform).
Who presided over the USA during the longest expansion of the US economy with plumetting crime rates and the love of the international community? Cohiba Billy!
You said it K dough - let's focus on policy.
K-dough wants to leave character out of politics? I'm so not reading him anymore. Well, maybe -- what about boobs in politics? Will there still be boobs?
I think K-Dough wants politics to be only about boobs.
Good boobs and man-boobs. This post is about man-boobs. And glory to the man that carries his man-boobs with dignity.
o/t - seems like a slow day in blogolia. you should have 20 comments by now on this.
pam? where are you to get us all froathy and excited?
Havril:As long as there are seats in our legislature, there will be boobs filling them. As long as I possess enough fingers, I will write about them.
Chris: Re: The idea of trying to separating the person from the policy: impossible. Human nature is hard-wired to be tendentious and biased. There are judgements built into everything we produce.
I agree that if we are talking about policy, we should focus on policy. However, I wasn't really talking about policy. I was implicitly talking about the irony between Harper's tough guy commando stance and his penchant for doilies, fuzzy toilet seat covers and reading Cosmo. I think he also uses an anal douche.
Chucker- Oh yeah sure- rub it in. More comments, says the King of Comments!
Anal douche? How about colonic irrigation. There, doesn't that sound better?
As for me, meetings most of the day. YAWN.
K-Dough,
I've learned the secret to comments: find a lunatic who's willing to defend a conspiracy to death and respond to him.
I'm at like 120 comments - all of them involve grassy knolls and Bush.
All sorts of bush, but no boobs. That's why I like it here.
Pam: I have to be wary of my readership. Now, do you think I could real in guys like the Squid with urban-centric, trendy phraes like "colonic irrigation"?
Besides, I don't want to confuse the large homophobic agricultural demographic of my readership. They are my meat and potatoes.
Note to homophobic farmers: When I said "my meat" I wasn't trying to subliminally implant homoerotic thoghts in your gourds, or coerce you into any form of man-on-man love. Although, as I have said before, both sexes tend to find me quite irresistable.
Chris: Don't let it happen again. ifyou get too serious for too long or start to make sense I may have to ban you.
Chucker: Yuck- Bush should be stricken from the pants of our nation for good! That curly scourge sickens me!
You wouldn't be implying that squid is full of, er..forget I mentioned it.
Yes, chuckers, quite the group you had yesterday. I think a few skipped their meds. It was funny, though.
It's all about the sweater vests, Peter.
Harper should try them, rather than those maroon, form fitting turtlenecks that accentuate his 41" waist.
That's terrible Diku- making fun of the poor man's pop belly.
Me-owwwwwwwwww.
Nerd that I am, I met Harper.
When I saw his belly, I was convinced this is my kind of guy. Did I mention I fake my waistline to? My belt is buckled at my thighs where I am still size 36.
Ban me for coherence? You aren't by chance related to Charles Dodgson?
I just forgot that this blog is about the happy side of living under the reign of an easy listening, firewall-building PM who needs to clutch a GI Joe doll to get himself to sleep.
Please, no sweater vests. I would prefer to see him in a leather vest, no shirt. They are always a sexy look on a rootbeer-bellied man.
Pam: You said "I would prefer to see him in a leather vest, no shirt."
Hmmmmm, that can be arranged...
Chris: When I said ban what I really meant was cling to you like a drowning sailor does to a piece of flotsam, and beg you to come back, day after day after day until we are both old, grey and impotent.
You meant baaaaan, naan's mutton-based cousin. As for the old grey and impotent, I'm already there.
leatherhands,
you missed a good party. I'm a c-cup myself, so man-boobs are a touchy issue for me. sometimes, when I'm lonely, I give them a rub and think someone loves me.
Moobs (tm) are nothing to be ashamed of guys. They make a man look distinguished, esp. when they are sweaty, pimply, smattered with curlies and unkempt. The musk they exude is like pheremonal elixir to women that... ahhhh who am I kidding?
I have a buff, shaved chest...I was just trying to fit in. Carry on.
Oh- and because I have not said it yet today- Mitsou!
Let me see, what have covered today?
sweaty moobs and pheromones
colonic irrigations
homoerotic subliminal messages
our much loved and portly PM in various states of semi-undress/leather
and did I hear a sheep?
and k-dough, do you really have a shaved chest? I have to know..
K-Dough Emmanuel Sandho is very inconsistent and his will power very week. Matches Harper.
And you are reading a romance novel, I thought guyz didn't read romance novels.
Pam:
Would I lie to you after all we've been through?
K
Joanne: Guys generally don't- I suspect Harpo might...
I just finished Michener's Texas.
Must admit, that it ends in romance made this right-wing facist tear up.
Texas eh? The longhorn state. I'm guessing more cowboy sex, but everything was a lot bigger?
K-Dough, I asked about the chest because I have some triathlete friends that shave. Pretty slick, baby.
For me it was just a workout/martial arts thang and it stuck...
The book is 1300 friggin' pages long, K-Dough!
I swore I'd never read a non-Stephen King book over 400 pages when I got out of university.
Cowboys don't enter the scene until, something like page 600.
Picture this. A spanish girl in San Antonio leaves with her grandfather for Mexico City to find a husband whose not racially mixed, but pure spanish.
It takes 6 months to get to Mexico City, across desert, essentially.
She meets a frenchman. They fall in love. Takes 6 mths in Mexico city for grandaddy to accept that a spaniard won't be the one - at least the frenchman is pure european and catholic.
6 mths to go back to San Antonio. On the last day, 5 miles out of San Antonio, the Comanche attack and in defending his fiance, the frenchman is killed.
18 mths, and on the last day, she loses the whole friggin' reason for going.
That's you dose of refinement for the day.
Thanks. I was on page 897 of Texas. That's three months of commuting reading I'll never get back.
I'll go back to watching South Pacific now.
You guys is dalgarnit funny!
Wee-ahhhhh.
diku, you said: "It's all about the sweater vests, Peter. Harper should try them,".
Excuse me? I beg to differ.
I happen to like guys in sweater vests. Sexy nerds, I call them. Give me a hot, socially clueless guy in a sweater vest and glasses reading a book on nuclear physics anyday. Think Tobey McGuire as Peter Parker, or Jake Gyllenhall as a math student in Proof.
DO NOT ruin this for me by suggesting Stephen Harper wear sweater vests!!!!!!!
Talk about a downer, man. He is the least sexy man in Canadian politics today (well, except maybe for Myron Thompson and Deborah Grey -- oh, forgot, Deborah left politics already).
oh yeah, as if Homosuperior wouldn't be thrilled to get a glimpse of the Prime Minister's hidden agenda.
With that paunch, I doubt the PM's seen his hidden agenda for a while.
Poor l'il mushroom, growin' in the musty darkness.
Homo- it's great to hear such principled comments from a man with such conviction. You must love Bill Graham, in a naughty nerdy sittin on Granpa's lap way...
Actually, Bill Graham is too old for Homo, thank you very much.
Looking for information and found it at this great site...
» » »
Post a Comment
<< Home