Sex: The Road to Ruin
Dear Readers:I am really disappointed in you Blogospherians out there. Yesterday, when I floated the idea about Mitsou running for the Liberal leadership, I thought you intelligent, sensitive people would take the time to truly consider her qualities and strengths. The commentary quickly degenerated into a torrent of school yard sexual innuendo. I will admit that, I, too, was caught up in the waxing on how Mitsou's moist pouty lips and ample bosom might sex up our dehydrated and prudish parliament. But Mitsou doesn't deserve the objectification we forced upon her.
This Mitsou madness must end, I tell you, before it overtakes this blog's content completely.
So, I'll just say this: Mitsou, if you are out there, wearing a tiny, tiny, tiny see-through neligee, sucking gently on a fresh, ripe cherry as you playfully pull it from your mouth, slightly glistening with...no, stop me! For the love of dry pants everywhere, we must bring back Paul Martin. He made everything seem sexless, cold and unfunny, just like an episode of the Air Farce or a Photoshopped Celine Dion porn spread. We have to remove the steering wheel from this sex drive before it plunges us into the mucky ditch of un-Canadianess!!!
posted by K-Dough at 6:17 AM
41 Comments:
Well said, mon cowboy.
Sorry, but Mitsou does nothing for me (nor, I suspect, for most of the gay/female vote).
If you are going to vote for politicians based on their looks, then how about drafting Hayden Christiansen. He can't act worth a damn, but he's Canadian, a total hottie, AND if we are going to have a Dark Lord of the Sith for PM, like we do now, then he may as well be hot (the one we have is so NOT!).
Mitsou has a brother. I think he's the cowboy in Bye, Bye, Mon Cowboy.
Would that get you interested in her campaign, homo?
Well, there you have it kids. From the slighly pursed lips of gay Canada.
Homo- what about an androgynous candidate to satisfy the needs of all sexual proclivities?
Oh, please, no androgynous candidates. I don't think they will do anything for the straight OR gay crowd. As for Mitsou, I'm fairly straight and I think she's hot. Now, if we are looking for a candidate based on hotness alone, my man would be Dany Heatley. Wait, maybe Jason Spezza...or both? Am I allowed to pick two?
Per a previous discussion, why don't we recommend Jann Arden for PM?
She's funny, can sing, and is obviously attractive to some of you (weirdos).
Just imagine, she stands in the House and sings poetic about the injustices in the health-care system before throwing in a witty retort while wearing fish-nets.
Is that so weird?
Pam:
Are you insane? I'm not a judge of men but I know that Heatley is one of the ugliest guys out there.
He can score goals but he can also scare the paint off the wall.
Bet you are a Leafs fan.
me or K-Dough?
While I am a Leafs fan, I respect the Sens and admire their talent. Heatley is extremely talented but wasn't just hit with an ugly stick, he was sodomized and beaten into a sticky puddle by an entire batallion of ugly trees.
But if you think he'd be a hot PM, then you have every right to vote for him.
K-Dough ain't no Leaf ho.
K-Dough is bleu, blanc et rouge through and through.
Vive les glorieux!!!
I stand by my sweaty, toothless Senator.
K-Dough, I didn't mean to imply you were a Leaf ho.
Peter, as much as I admire Jann, I think we would need Prozac in the drinking water if we had to listen to her sing in the House. She can be a wee bit of a downer, non?
I guess we are back to Mitsou unless someone has a better idea.
K-Dough, I think you're in the closet... about being a Leaf fan.
Pam, perhaps you're right about Jann and her songs. Other than her, might I suggest:
- Elisha Cuthbert (from 24)
- Shania Twain (from Timmins)
- Natasha Henstridge (from The Whole Nine Yards)
- Neve Campbell (from __)
.. or my favorite...
- KATHRYN HUMPHRIES!!!
Pam- read my comment above re: Jose Theodore.
Kathryn Humphries could be Ministress of Discipline in a Mitsou government. Her portfolio would centre on making sure
K-Dough, and others like him, are kept in line, for the good of the country. And don't worry, I know that it would hurt her a lot more than it would hurt me. And I would try my best to be obedient.
I have no problem with turning Canada into a Nanny State!
That doesn't work for me, K. Even breast-less I find him too pretty. Wasn't he traded recently?
I think the breasts/steriod implications/Propecia scandals would be too much. Too much baggage in the bustier.
Pam- lol. Nice alliteration.
All- Ok, so it's back to Mitsou. Is it possible for us to elevate the level of dialogue here though?
Who would Mitsou appoint to key Cabinet roles?
She HAS to get Carole Pope in there somewhere.
Rene Simard. I bet his name pops up somewhere.
If Mitsou wants to raise funds for a stab at the Liberal leadership, all she has to do is put her thong on E-Bay. I bet she could pay off the entire Liberal Party debt in one afternoon. I'm sure she'd never be PM though. The Liberal Party constitution has a clause that forbids any Goddess from being PM!
The Honourable Guy Lafleur, Minister of Scoring for Seniors
How about Margaret Thatcher?.... ewwww...
Maggie Trudeau (in her day) would have fit in nicely!
Good choice K-dough....Martin only made fake friends with rock stars. Maggie skated on 'em.
One:
K-Dough - god bless you and your Hockey loyaties.
Two:
Squid, as long as they are washed. Mitsou has a bit of a mexican food addiction and I'm worried about the state of the ass-cord on that thong.
Three:
Personally, Maggie Thatcher is just about the dreamiest. I would love to give her a taste of my falklands.
Chucker- Thatcher? Dreamiest? I guess - as long you don't mind swallowing a few fruit flies and have no sense of taste or smell!
BTW- Are you a Hab fan too?
K-Dough,
point is, I could do whatever I want with her and she'd never remember a thing! tell me that doesn't open up some wonderful possibilities.
On the Habs: I am a Montrealer. in the old days, feds liked Habs, seps liked Nordiques. Now, we's united behind the Tri-Colores.
Chucker,
Nobody is asking you to chew on the ass-cord. That's my job!
Bikini wax-$50
Victoria's secret G-string-$23
Mental image of old squid chewing on Mitsou's thong.....priceless.
looks like pam gone and done it!
Pam,
After chewing on Mitsou's thong for a while, I wouldn't be adverse to licking something that tastes like chicken.
I'm starting to like you!
squid, sorry you volunteered for something that lost its chickeny yumminess.
Jose Theodore DEFINITELY works for me. But then, if he were PM, I'd quite my job in a minute to volunteer full time in the PMO as an intern. We all know that never leads to any good, so it's probably better not to get someone of quite that level of hotness.
How about Keanu Reeves? He could always at least try to act (again, badly -- why are the good-looking Canadian actors never any good at acting?) like a PM, and we'd (well, me and the "fairly straight" Pam and the other gals and homo boys, anyway) all stand around gawking at him and be lulled into a sense of wellbeing even as he was destroying the country. But who wouldn't enjoy that?
And it would add some Hollywood glamour and pizzazz to our politics.
What sayeth the rabble?
Hey, would he make Doug Henning foreign affairs minister?
Note to self: forget witty comment about Mitsou commanding the respect of honourable "members".
Havril- If you stop saying things like that I will, likewise, b forced to stop reading you.
But would you still puruse me in a passionate, yet tender, way?
Havril: I was thinking more of perusing you in a strong-armed turkey baster greased with bacon lard wielding way. But hey, whatever gets you off...
Geeeez you get a lot of comments on this thing.
I'm more of a Jean LeLoup fan myself - if I'd have to vote for a Québec icon.
Tess.
Tess- where you been? Nice to see ya hear!
Neil Young for Minister of Herbs!
Gina Vannelli for Minister Responsible for Fast Cars!
Bryan Adams for Foreign Affairs!
Joni Mitchell for Arts/Heritage!
Burton Cummings for Minister of Canadian Egos!
and Rush for Ministry of Health!
...and who was that hottie who had that late '70s hit 'pretty girls'?
Mitsou for PM!!!!!
Vive la Mitsou!
Vive le Canada!
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