Sealed Package
Yesterday, I floated an idea for a brand new male-focussed eco-fashion product on another blog. Today, I am asking you, the loyal readership, for your input. Think of yourselves as an uncontrolled market research group.With all the recent excitement surrounding the plainly distasteful slaughter of Canada's seals, I thought "how could we make this story a little more fun - a little more chic and bouncy? How could we convert this bad bloody press into a real trendy buzz? Well, I thought long and hard, and came up with a prospect that I think many of you will find extremely attractive, useful and daresay ... sexy.
Seal skin thongs. Yes kids, it's K-Dough's new Flipper Snappers (tm)- for the hunter in you!
Not buying it? Ok, think 'speedo meets the arctic' or 'lingerie goes to the circus'. Those poor whiskered, happy sea-friends of man will not have died in vain, if we can convert their misery into a stylish pair of man undies. You can cram all the man meat you want into these water-resistant, pliable tighties, and there is still room for a lot more fun!
Sooooooooooo, whaddya think?
posted by K-Dough at 8:50 AM
22 Comments:
I love the idea, but full figured boys like myself have a problem with thongs, If I were to attempt to put one on, it would disappear into the folds of my skin, probably never to be seen again.
Deer skin thongs for men date back to at least 1985, if you're talking the Mr. Winnipeg Bodybuilding quarter-finals.
Will this be a lycra/flipper/poly blend? Without the lyrca, there will be no "give", if you catch my drift. I like the concept.
Silverwinger- no worries man- we, at K-Dough Laboratories, are also working on a walrus model for extra-assed body types.
A lot of research went into this product. I recently test-drove a protoype 100% alligator hide thong for a week. Needless to say, I spent the following week in deep-groin therapy, and had to have trice-daily petroleum jelly smearings and wore a bulky and embarassing cotton lined diaper- even in the shower at the gym! I won't be doing that again.
As far as deer go Sheena- the closest I got was rabbit fur. Now, that was a smooth ride. But everytime I tried to get funky with my special chick friend, all she did was point at my genitals and squeal "ohhhh, that's so cute". It was a little emasculating.
I think Pam's idea of a seal-lycra blend is definitely the way to go. While the possiblity of 'no give' may not be that important to the average male, I assure you that K-Dough requires that kind of flexibilty- because you never know when Mr. Seal is going to poke his nose through the ice hole, if you know what I mean.
K-dough: "I recently test-drove a protoype 100% alligator hide thong for a week."
Is that why you've been snapping at everyone lately?
By the way, for those who don't know: THE HABS KICKED THE LEAFS' SORRY ASSES LAST NIGHT -- WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, I do realize it's not terribly sporting to rub people's noses in it, but my Leaf friends are none too gracious on the rare occasions that they have anything to crow about.
"you never know when Mr. Seal is going to poke his nose through the ice hole"
That's it, I'm inviting a seal hunter out for drinks with us the next time we go, for my own protection.
Homo- you didn't seem to mind last night- but then again you blacked out for awhile. My sexual voracity has been known to have that effect on people of both sexes. Welcome to the K-Club.
I found the posted image deeply disturbing.
http://centreofcanada.blogspot.com/
Will you emebroider them with the days of the week? If so, put me down for six (no Sunday, of course, for religious reasons).
By the way, I love the picture. You look wonderful in black. It's very slimming.
Pam- i can't take all the credit- my lipo doctor really got me ready for that shoot.
Don- what is so disturbing? Never seen a shaftless bulge before?
K-Dough, you need to issue spew alerts, for crying out loud. "Flipper Snappers™" indeed.
K-Dough Kraziness - Kramer of the Blog World -
what think you next?
as with all materials in highly humid areas, my concern is olfactory.
Good point, Chucker. Will these things smell at all like seal, k-dough? Not that this would be a bad thing. I just need to coordinate with my scented oils. Polar bear musk might be a good match.
i was planning an array of tropical scents to accompany the seal sling.
Banana was my first inclination...
Candace- I try to issue spew warnings to everyone in the immediate area before such an event. Of course, that does not always work- I already have a daughter! But I do agree that prevention is the best policy.
Banana-scented? My wife would be as upset with that as lamb-scented.
Can't we just follow the dishsoap trends?
Vanilla. Parsley. Citrus Medley. Lilac (Homosuperior will love that one).
Chucker- hmmmm, lilac sack? It's got marketing potential, but I dunno...
How about a car freshener pine scent for the rugged, manly unit?
I think chocolate scent might be the way to go, k-dough.
What? Chicks don't dig pine scented nether regions?
Hmmm, that explains a lot about my teenage years.
Best regards from NY!
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