Fiddlin' In Politics
Ashley MacIsaac has said he will run for the LPC leadership. And this time he says he's for real- no joke. MacIsaac realizes that a leader of a federal party has to be somewhat distingushed, so he has decided that golden showers with sex buddies are now strictly off limits. He also realizes that flashing his fleshy nut sack to the world may be considered by some Liberals to be unbecoming. Now, in relative terms, this is a serious political commitment for Ash.It may sound crazy, but I can actually see him doing it. That is, unless he scores some killer weed, gets wailed and launches that nude underwater macrame/ live electric eel performace art fetish thing he has been planning to do for the past six years. Also, there was that trip to the Antarctic he's been meaning to take. You know, the one where he wanted to become the first Maritimer to fiddle Waltzing Matilda for 49 consecutive hours to a tribe of Emperor Penguins, while on 13 hits of Blue Star tab LSD.
Well, I guess the Liberals could ask for worse. At least we know he's got balls - we've all seen 'em! And balls have been a rare commodity in the Liberal party for some time now.
posted by K-Dough at 7:10 AM
59 Comments:
I completely disagree. He's a complete twat and it's an insult to Canada and Canadians that he'd throw his hat in the ring.
It doesn't mean he's patriotic, it means he's egocentric and is willing to debase our political system with a(nother) lower life form.
Get celebrities and famous people out of politics. Otherwise, we'll have the Jesse Ventura/Swartzenegger syndrome which does nothing for anyone but feed their egos and bank accounts.
peter: Ummmmmm, it was a satirical post.
Hmmmmmm, but now that you oppose it, I have to say that he is looking a lot more atractive to me. Yeah- actually, I think I would fully support him in a leadership run. Go MacIsaac!
Balls to wall! Kilt to the balls! Balls to the kilt! Kilt to the wind! Whatever.
Between supporting Ashley and the Montreal Canadians, you've got very dangerous views. It's a good thing I'm here to provide a solid slice of sanity (not to mention devilishly handsome).
Speaking of dangerous ideas, Ash and I have founded the
Urban Anti-Sweater Vest Coalition(UASVC).
We plan to spray paint the backs of people who wear sweater vests on the street.
Peter is our first mark
Hey K, ya gotta hand it to negative controversial publicity though. (And CBC Radio's ongoing obsession with Ashley...along with Rufus Wainwright, Ron Sexsmith, any competent native throat singing band, etc.) It puts bums in the seats.
Out in Newmarket a couple summers back, he played at our Market Square venue and the place was jammed with curious onlookers. We all stood around for a good half hour before we came to our senses and realized we were listening to Irish fucking jigs, and promptly went home to finish our chores.
leatherhands- I hear ya. What the fuck has he done in the last 10 years anyways? Same with Natalie McMaster. Although my pants area finds her quite appealing, she could be bowing a stiff cod for all I know or care.
Yeah, but she could be bowing YOUR stiff cod!!!
Funny you say that- one night a few years ago I was out with mutual friends and we all drank together. She seemed to be really adept at pounding 'em back. I was thinking about a little cod bowing at the time, but luckily my wife (g-friend at the time) helped sober up my thoughts and I quickly realized the err of my ways...
K-Dough, yikes sometimes you choose horrible candidates for the liberal leader. Maybe you should stick to mitsuo.
Stick to or stick it to Mitsu?
Joanne- do you mean Mitsuo- the 18th century Japanese wood block painter?
Kevvy D: definitely stick (baton) it "to"
K-Dough, I mean the mitsuo that you are secretly in-love with.
Not sure it's much of a secret.
Oh Righhht. It's a secret- except fo the fact at i've posted about abou it a zillion times, and actually have a restrainnig order against me. I'm not allowd anywhere near Mitsou, or cowboy costumes.
...or computer keyboards now for that matter!
By secretly I meant in the real world outside the blogshpere. Here it is a widley known fact that you are seriously, completely in-love with mitsuo.
LOL..that's too funny. But I thought you looked so cute in your little cowboy hat and chaps...
Maybe under the MacIsaac Liberals, the golden shower will replace the handshake. Then fewer departing patronage apointees would be so inclined to insist on their 'entitlements'. Unless they're into it.
A McIsaac win would see a major increase in funding to watersports, benefiting Canadian athletes.
I'm late to the party. Sorry.
I was kind of hoping Homosuperior would chime in with something like,
"I hope he rains on my parade."
I'll check after dinner.
Chucker, dinner? Do you eat dinner at four?
what time do you sleep, 6pm?
In my world, I don't get home most dayz until 9pm, then comes dinner, then TV and then studying and the going to bed part comes around 2:30 am.
Joanne- in PQ everyone eats at 4 so they can have sex at 6.
No wonder, you can't find stephen harper after 4 pm.
He starts at 4, and is only starting dessert at 6.
No poochin' for Paunch-arello...
By the look of him lately, he'd pick the cookie over the nookie any day of the week.
IT's now official! After her last comment, I'm in love with Pam!
You're such a sweet-talker.
only Torontonians get home at 9 pm, Joanne.
the rest of the country can produce a day's work in eight hours.
and its so lame to post this after pam and squids amazing exchange.
Chuckercanuck said: "I was kind of hoping Homosuperior would chime in with something like,
'I hope he rains on my parade.'"
Geez, Louise. I had no idea I had such an ardent fan base, hanging on my every word. Oh, the pressure!
I don't know if I can handle the now nearly constant demands for my attention from my amourous fans, such as chuckercanuck (and speaking of whom, he describes himself as having "outrageous good looks" in his blog profile -- come on chucker, let's see the proof! Hmmm.... by the way, did you guys ever notice how smart and witty chuckercanuck is?)
Back to the matter at hand, what witty riposte should I post? Man (and I don't mean STAFF; wait a minute, on second thought...) the hatches!
The way I see it, there are two main questions here:
1) Is Ashley MacIsaac qualified? On this, I would say a resounding NO. Quite simply, he does not have the experience in office to even consider a serious run for leader.
2) Even if he were qualified, is A.M. electable? Again, no, owing to having opened his mouth too many times (i.e. to Maclean's, to fans at his concerts, etc.), and having dabbled in drugs, and other shall we say, controversial behaviour.
Of course, there's a far more important question to ask, as well:
3) To wit: Is A.M. shaggable?
This requires a great deal more nuanced consideration. He is actually quite good looking and has a vivacious personality, so he COULD in fact have been very shaggable, if he weren't hampered by the fact that he has let us all know TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!!!
Sadly, the fact that we know too much information at all (not to mention the content of the information itself, which, as well all know unfortunately, is too much), leads him to be both unelectable, in addition to being unqualified, and, regrettably, not shaggable, as he really ought to be.
There, I hope that will satisfy the bloodthirsty hounds, at least until tomorrow.
k-dough. Dude. Sorry to interrupt this Ashfest, but I just thought I'd let you know you've been plugged... On a blog. In Canada. And for once, a flared latex device was not involved.
Chucker, this torontonian happens to be student. Others start work at 9am and go home at 5pm.
Homo- Ash isn't even qualified to work at a carwash.
Havril: I've been plugged- and I didn't even know I was leaking!!!
Chucker: I think Homo is a little sweet on you- you lucky bastard! I have to warn you, he's got some serious man-part girth, so be careful- you don't want lock-jaw like I....oh nevermind!
K-Dough,
if he's sweet on me, you'd think I wouldn't need to worry about my own lock-jaw....
but he's right - I do think he's funny. And since Pam is taken by Squid....
Chucker- you don't know what you are getting in to here. He is very demanding. He maintains a rigourous sexual workout schedule and expects his "helpers" to keep up the pace or sustain major
humiliating "punishments" he has documented on the walls of his "Chamber of Pain".
K-Dough,
thanks for the warning.
Homo,
to quote my hero, "I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious..."
K-dough: "Chucker- you don't know what you are getting in to here. He is very demanding. He maintains a rigourous sexual workout schedule and expects his "helpers" to keep up the pace or sustain major
humiliating "punishments" he has documented on the walls of his "Chamber of Pain".
You make it sound like it's a bad thing.
Ashley said he wants to focus on native issues and strengthen ties with quebec...He just wants to "peepee in a teepee"...
Yeah, but who doesn't?
the funny thingsis folks- that you with the abilty to to read and write -stillhave not figured outthat people sohuldn't belive weverytihngh they read.Yes i have been qwuoted to tlaknig aobut micuration-actully untrue- i never have had watersports take plac ein my sex life-0 it was simply to open upthe discussionm of gay rigth sinthe early 90's when biegn gay was stilllable a scourse creating aids-and for that point- I think i got people talknig aobut sex in canda in a way no one befoer fdid- they actully admited publiccaly tohaving it.As for my ablities as a leader- well i ahve couterd millons of dollars in production costs in allaspects of the entertianment industry,wichh lead me to one belfie- If i can make the most jaded industry inthe world pay for me to make art-than i probably can do it in an almost as jaded industry.Lastly As for wehter or not i am capavbe of beign elected- let me say it in two words
Stephen harper.
Thankyou Merci- Jenjoius Shokran -Sez seza nd don na vout- if you can read allofthat- maybe you shoudl wrok for me-if not- learn to and maybe then you willknow what it is to really be Cadian - we don't alljig cod- althogh i mfght add- I do like the fish every so often
p.s- I guess there have never bvbeen other peole form other fields get elected into piltcs-hmmmmmmtwacher lawyers-doctors-wrestlers-store keepers farmers-etcetcetc-oh wait now the primier of Novascotia started otu as a fiddler.I gues they all had to listen top people say -no you can't
but they did.
First of all Asher- you haven't made it in the industry.
Secondly, holy fuck - how drunk are you mate?
Actuaallcy- I have a mild form of dislexia- not drunk at all
Make it inthe industry?Do you have any other bloggers onherer that have sold almost a million records and toured the world 4times and have had roles in 7movies and have procured over 10million dollars in taxes for the country?
Sorry if you don't like my spelling
Ok dude- I'm trying to figure out a way for you to prove it's actually you.
Do you know Natalie McMaster's manager?
And by the way Ash- if this is indeed you I apologize for the drunk thang, but not the references to your fleshy nut sack.
indeed it is me and i got your email sent to courage artists office.If you woudl liketo helpme out you can start by letting your follwers onhere know as i am about to do that you can't always read a blog by its cover and futher to that ,that comments that can be considered defamatroy make it seeminglly unneccessary to bother to come onhere blog.I am not a little bitter - im jsut saying that i find it useless to talkto people who obviously or homophobic still at this point in histroy- other than to make them feel likethere is something worng iwth them-that is why i woulde bother to mention my paswt achiements .Some may find thme boring - but acutlly I think there isw a reason the CBC stillgives me air time-its becuase ive got sometihyng to say worth while listening to-and i don't mean the type of crap that has been spewed by Natalie MAcmaster like how she thinks homosexualtiy is a sin.
I enjoy a place to air my thoguhts on issues maybe some people onhere may actually have some questions that they can personally have answered which in turn may let them learn a bit about me -rather than contiueto belevie whatever a newsparer rights inorder to sell copies.
Ash- I assure you that no one on this blog has expressed any type of homophobic sentiment. If they did, they would be toast.
In fact, some of my readers and commenters are gay and proud of it. I am a strong supporter of gay rights. But you can't blame people for their satire. You are a musician and an alternative public figure who will indeed attract a helluva lot more of this shite in the future. Especially if you see this through.
My offer stands. E-mail me dude.
Shit. Looks like the real deal. Ashley MacIsaac. On this forum. In Canada. I have celebrity-turned-politican envy. While I'm normally content to be outdone by k-dough, not this time. I'm going to redouble my efforts to contact Sonny Bono and Ronald Reagan.
Havril- Unless you are channelling through a medium I don't think you'll be talking to either very soon.
Jesse Ventura might return your calls though...
K-Dough, this is all too funny. I can't decide if this is funnier if you are screwing with us, or funnier if it is actually Ashley posting.
Believe me - it really is him...
Well,WTF? I've been laughing my ass off all afternoon, either way.
Waddya mean WTF?
I mean, WTF? It's funny.
Unless you are channelling through a medium I don't think you'll be talking to either very soon.
Um, yeah, that was kinda supposed to be the (obvious) ironic comedic device thingy there. Dude, you are sick.
Oh, yeah. And if you die from whatever you have, can I assume your blog identity? It'll be a Dread Pirate Roberts / Shamu sort of thing. I'll try to blog in your style, but there will be more posts about Havril.
Havril- you are absolutely shameless dude!!!
You make that sound like a bad thing.
When you're bad, you are soooo good baby. Or, ummmm, so I hear.
Ashley? Ashley? Nope, not here either.
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