K-Dough's Budget Day Wish List
So, it's Budget Day in Ontario. The air is ripe with anticipation like Christmas morning, and I've put together a little wish list that may have been whispered in the ear of a little bird that may know someone in a certain Finance Minister's office. Now, I'm not saying these details were actually leaked to me, but I have it on good word that there may be a few goodies in there for the K-Doughster. Remember, you heard it here first kids!Initiatives expected to aid my flagging portfolio, and the ministerial budgets affected:
- PST exemption on all 80s metal merchandise and music (Ministry of Culture)
- Elimination of consolidated Mastercard and Credit Line deficit: $17,000 (Ministry of Finance)
- $4,500 investment in new hot tub (Ministry of Health Promotion)
- New pair of shoes (Ministry of Transportation)
- One-time $300 investment to complete unfinished tattoo (Ministry of Public Infrastructure Renewal)
posted by K-Dough at 7:04 AM
55 Comments:
I don't mind your budget so far except:
1. I don't have a tattoo and hope I can use the $300 for something else... perhaps a sweatervest?
2. I don't see anything about Jennifer Valentyne or Kathryn Humphries.
Unfortunately, the chicks were not included in the budget peter, since the amount of money they requested to have to bed you would have thrown us much farther back in our plans to eliminate the deficit.
LOL, dude! Can crimping irons, pancake make-up and black eye-liner be included in category #1? Wouldn't mind reliving some glory days.
(Although pancake doesn't look so good on creased, middle-aged skin...just look at Mick and the boys now. Shudder.)
Jesus, Mick is middle-aged? What does that make us?
Point taken Pamster. I just live in fear of looking like Keith when I'm his age.
I don't think you have any worries, as long as you aren't banging heroin.
As old as the boys are, they sure rocked Ottawa last summer. They might be wrinkled but they are in great shape.
leather- don't forget everyone's favourite dressing room pass time- hairspray torches! (and of course, banging Lee Aaron).
And for the record, Mick is not middle aged. He is ageless. A mummified, time-worn skin-bag of preserved resin.
Pam: The Stones rocking Ottawa is not difficult to comprehend. Ottawa is so conservative that Raffi could rock it.
Yeah, Mick takes good care of himself, but you shoulda seen AC/DC completely blow them off the stage at the SARS concert in Downsview. The Stones looked pretty old and feeble in comparison. It was a life moment
K...LOL AGAIN! Shit, I had no idea Lee was a back-stage buffer.
leather, I've heard that AC/DC was awesome and I wish I'd been there. Maybe they will play Avianfest this summer in Ottawa.
leather, I've heard that AC/DC was awesome and I wish I'd been there. Maybe they will play Avianfest this summer in Ottawa.
It's also a music moment. I'll take AC-DC over the Stones anyday.
Pam- I don't believe it either! And anyways I wouldn't actually have called it "banging", more like a nervous twitch, and then the faint sound of a bunny farting.
And what the hell is Avianfest? Sounds like a place you need to worry about catching a comunicable diease from a slutty pigeon.
Okay, I'll buy that story.
I would take AC/DC over the Stones, but I thought this might be the last kick at the can. One wrong twist doing the funky chicken and Mick could be using a walker.
You can't have it both ways. Do we have overly-conservative pigeons or slutty pigeons in Ottawa?
No one could lay down a solid rock groove like Phil Rudd...
Pam- All I know is the last time I was in the Byward market, I couldn't find a restaurant where I could order a full meal after 9 pm, cuz everything was shutting down.
That's odd..I've never had that problem. Did you try anywhere besides Hooters?
Pam: (Witty Ms. Thang): Why do you always seem to get a reference in concerning boobs. It's sexist and unacceptable.
You are stereotyping K-Dough. Soon, K-Dough will be the target of feminist protest and hate mail campaigns from stakeholder groups like the Lesbian Rugby Association of Alberta, headed by Grand Sasquatch, Deborah Grey.
You hurt K-Dough's feelings. Now make me a sandwich and let's make up.
Ottawa pigeons, I've found, are goody-goodies by day, whoring wrecks by night.
Pam, this is no joke: my (mostly) gay friends took me to Hooters on my 30th birthday. They photographed me with a couple of waitresses, then bought me a hooters shirt and made me wear it around all the gay bars in Toronto. What a night!
PS: I am at home today with a cold, which is why I have the luxury of being online instead of at work. What's everyone else's excuse?
I am going back to bed now.
Homo- by sick do you mean you are participating in rigourous
'afternoon delight' with that Peruvian soccer team you are billoting?
Pam- The French Maid thing is so overdone. Besides, you always put the costune on, but you NEVER take it off!
Now- back on track. What about the budget? What do y'all hope is in there?
Boys for Pele!
Tori Amos!
How about a Traynor amp and axe of choice for every teen OR a blue sparkly 4-piece drum kit with one cheap, muti-purpose cymbal. (Minister of State for Social Development.)
leatherhands- As a vigorous opponent of the democratization of music, art and education, I have to disagree with your policy submission.
In fact, I'm startng a campaign to keep instruments, text books and art supplies out of the hands of mouthbreathing idiots.
Or a weekly hot-stone massage for working mothers? And exempt red wine?
Hot-stone massage for working mothers (and fathers!) and exempt red wine for all!!!!!!!!!!
Ahh yes K-...Guns'n Roses...I see your point..
hot-stone massage? that sounds too legit to be any fun.
Isn't that just a modern twist on being stoned to death?
Oh- sorry I thought she said
"Hot Stoned Massage!"
Nevermind.
hot stone massage=heaven.
But, hot stoned massage sounds okay, too.
Pam, as a huge fan of RMTs and their magic hands (the wife's plan covers it..."Physiotherapy" no less!) I'm intrigued. Please explain how the hot stone gets involved...
Hot Swedish Stoned Massage
Now that's what I'm talkin about baby.
WARNING. WARNING.
On another arch-nemesis blog, I came across Leatherhands dreaming about what a "hottie" Justin Trudeau is.
Just thought you should all know before you jump onto a massage table with him.
I've actually had one..I think they're a little overrated.
Our masseuse gives good ole fashion swedish style body massages- that does the trick for me.
Leather-if you're ever in town I can hook you up with our regular masseuse. Not to boast, but I've had massages all over the world and she is by the far the best.
All this talk about massage is about to make me blow my budget.
Chucker- no I think that was "Lathered Hands"
I was surprised to learn recently that Ontario has a Ministry of Francophone Affairs. Given this, I was even more surprised to see that your wish-list asked for nothing that would help you hook up with Mitsou.
They are longer massages (~90 min), warm oil and hot stones. The stones are placed on the back (or chest) to relax the muscles while the RMT is working on another area.The heated stones are also used to massage the muscles.If you can slip them past your insurance company, go for it. They are awesome.
Havril: I am relying on a mix of kismet, a lot of cologne, a case of Laurentide and the fact that I have a remarkably large unit. Them French chicks dig that.
And don't exaggerate- we only have an Office of Francophone Affairs- not a ministry.
oh, on closer inspection, it was lacquered hens - for which I have a wonderful recipe.
Chucker- All I can think about is the game tonight.
I'm nervvvvvvvvous!!!!!!
K-dough,
Yeah please, I'll try your masseuse. My guy's awesome, but has been lecturing me lately on how I should take up yoga, cause my tendons are a wreck, my neck muscles are destroyed, blah blah blah.... I just want him to shut the fuck up and get to it.
Pam- thanks for the info..sounds awesome, but I'm picturing white-hot rocks on my bare back...must leave one hell of a welt!
Chucker- thank you for perpetuating my "sexually ambiguous" image I've been working hard to promote....if you go back to that thread, I've left you a homoerotic doozy.
Leather- seriously- if you e-mail me, I'd be happy to give you the details on my masseuse...
No one likes a meddling masseuse- esp. when you are paying them $70 an hour!
But Silly Walks, that's a full Ministry, right?
yoga is a wonderful thing..hot yoga even better...your neck will thank you.
No more preaching from me..
All yoga is hot if it's being done by the right person.
Today, I missed the party while people here were having fun in my blog. But I am too sick with a cold and sour throat to join the party.
K-Dough, may be you should also join those farmers outside Queens Park to present your wish list to McGuinty. Those farmers have been sleeping there for the past few dayz. You can join them if you want tomorrw and if I see a K-Dough wish list, I will come around to see you and may be present McGuinty with my wish list too.
"On another arch-nemesis blog, I came across Leatherhands dreaming about what a "hottie" Justin Trudeau is. Just thought you should all know before you jump onto a massage table with him."
Thanks for the advice. Now where's the massage table? Don't worry, Chuckercanuck, I'll get to you later.
And by the way Chuckercanuck, what was the archnemesis blog you were on: Stories of Hot, Stoned Swedish Masseurs? Or, Poolboys on Parade?
homo it was my blog.That is why I was saying I missed the party.
Score, score. I bet K-Dough is doing his happy Hab dance....go habs.
damn right I am!
That's a great story. Waiting for more. » »
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