Knaked News
Speaking of sucking and blowing, funny thing happened to me on the way to work this morning... No wait: I just drove in from Talahasee, and boy is my screwdriver tired. (Ba dum dum- spshhh)
But seriously, my greased and horny pot-bellied piglets, today I am offering you a quick rounding up of the truly bizarre in two ridiculous sentences. And here it is:
Even though unfathomably stupid teen beauty contestant Lauren Caitlin Upton did not win the famed Dumb As A Pool Noodle But I'd Love to Schtoop You contest, she is rumoured to be dating Leona Helmsley's dog Trouble, who just inherited a cool $12 million, and has quit her job as the CEO of a major Bay Street Investment house, where other stupid, yet great looking people are overworked. Helmsley's clearly insane financial decisions left her peniless and dead in some guy's garage, after being treated for blemishes by a Viennese descendant of Beethoven's private doctor, who is rumoured to be having an affair with gay denier and 3 term Republican senator, Larry Craig.
Whoosh! Oh yeah, and I'm not wearing underwear. Or overwear for that matter.
But seriously, my greased and horny pot-bellied piglets, today I am offering you a quick rounding up of the truly bizarre in two ridiculous sentences. And here it is:
Even though unfathomably stupid teen beauty contestant Lauren Caitlin Upton did not win the famed Dumb As A Pool Noodle But I'd Love to Schtoop You contest, she is rumoured to be dating Leona Helmsley's dog Trouble, who just inherited a cool $12 million, and has quit her job as the CEO of a major Bay Street Investment house, where other stupid, yet great looking people are overworked. Helmsley's clearly insane financial decisions left her peniless and dead in some guy's garage, after being treated for blemishes by a Viennese descendant of Beethoven's private doctor, who is rumoured to be having an affair with gay denier and 3 term Republican senator, Larry Craig.
Whoosh! Oh yeah, and I'm not wearing underwear. Or overwear for that matter.
posted by K-Dough at 9:01 AM
3 Comments:
Re: the bathroom senator; that explains why I got reemed in the ass by two bear-like guys the last time I foot-tapped "When the Levee Breaks" while on a public shitter.
I'm flying through the Minneapolis airport on Friday night and I really hope I can just hold it.
How are you gonna hold it if you'll be in Minneapolis and I'll be...
Oh sorry, that's not what you meant, was it?
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