THUDS Beware
Time again, my smooth-bodied, drooling hamster children for a stream of conscious urban rage rant 'n rail (I'm actually frothing at the mouth as I type- oh wait- I think that's just the latte residue):
I am an experienced, skilled cyclist who obeys traffic laws. That's why today, I'm type-screaming the following announcement from tippy toes on my e-soap box :
I am sick of the fuckwad bike THUDS who run stop signs on Toronto streets: The very streets that have bike lanes to protect the safety of law-abiding cyclists. Why do I call these jackasses THUDS? Because that is the sound created when their carcasses are run over by cars, as they fly through intersections, and are squashed by right turning, law-abiding motorized vehicle drivers.
Please, for the love of god, start peer-pressuring idiots like these into shame. Yell at them. Scream "THUD" every time one of these bastards blows by you at a stop sign. It's the only way to get the message across.
These are the same loud-mouthed fucks who complain all the time that motorists victimize cyclists in the city. In my years riding in the T. Dot it's been evident that cyclists are much more often at fault than drivers. Now get out there and tell them!
I am an experienced, skilled cyclist who obeys traffic laws. That's why today, I'm type-screaming the following announcement from tippy toes on my e-soap box :
I am sick of the fuckwad bike THUDS who run stop signs on Toronto streets: The very streets that have bike lanes to protect the safety of law-abiding cyclists. Why do I call these jackasses THUDS? Because that is the sound created when their carcasses are run over by cars, as they fly through intersections, and are squashed by right turning, law-abiding motorized vehicle drivers.
Please, for the love of god, start peer-pressuring idiots like these into shame. Yell at them. Scream "THUD" every time one of these bastards blows by you at a stop sign. It's the only way to get the message across.
These are the same loud-mouthed fucks who complain all the time that motorists victimize cyclists in the city. In my years riding in the T. Dot it's been evident that cyclists are much more often at fault than drivers. Now get out there and tell them!
Labels: Urban Anecdotes
posted by K-Dough at 8:52 PM
12 Comments:
Amen.
I've actually had cyclists yell at me for stopping at a red light along the College Street bike lane! I suspect they were angry because they nearly hit me because I stopped. At a red light. On my bike.
To boot, the one time I was called "f#$king idiot" for doing this, the guy who said it had a child with him.
Otto- I hear you bro. It's freakin Mad Maxian out there. I wear body armour and cary a broadsword ever since my encounter with a crazed lesbian bike courieur in 1997. I think the court documents referred to her as Squeaky...
When I lived in the T dot I only cycled on the Don Valley Trail, the Martin Goodman, etc. and side streets whenever possible.
The car-challenging stunt-riding that goes on in the core streets is something I never wanted to take part in. The whole car/human body impact thing never goes well.
I raise my soy latte to you, Sir Dough. Well said.
I will stand alongside you and also shake my fist at fellow cyclists that try to squeeze past right-turning cars -- on the right.
When the bike path has a dotted line on the left, it means cars will be merging to make right-hand turns. If you want to go around them, you need to do it on the left.
As you know, I'm not cool enough to live in Toronto, so I do my biking on 2 lane highways in Eastern Ont. I have a huge problem with the "country" drivers in this area. Often I am not given any space at all, and have been yelled at to "GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD" or had some asshole lay on the horn as he passed. Dicks.
Shit. Now I'm pissed off. Thanks K-dough.
Glad to do my part in helping disseminate rage. It's one of my finer attributes!
I'm a fomenter from way back babies!
Leather- down with cars! up with free sex...errr, bikes.
Pammiekins- have done some of the at eastern ont riding myself recently. Was fan-testicular!!!!
I think you just hit my literary-spot, such juicy description ;-)
THUDS indeed. The morons who race around me and weave through cars so cars have to swerve toward me to avoid hitting me can be included. I mean I'm all for rebelling, but not when i'm squeezed between 2 SUVs
RC: that's why I carry a micro-grenade launcher in my frame pouch. So, lipstick puttin-on- soccer Moms are jolted out of their Dr. Laura-induced trances before I become a smoking pile of entrails on the pavement!
ooh such sweet things you whisper in my ears
Oh but K-Dough what is the point of riding my bike somewhere if I have to stop and go all the time. I might as well take my car.
Best Regards
Thud Newton
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