It's Not Easy Being Green
Our federal parties are fumbling frenetically with environmental policy like boner-sportin' 15 year olds in the dark with bra straps; and the boobs in the bra represent plump, silky votes in the upcoming election. Ever since a few weeks ago, when the national media somehow decided environmental issues were at the top of every lobotomized trans-fat gorfing, video game coveting Canadian's concerns list, we've seen at least 99 green balloons floated up into the smog-buttered skies of federal policy.
Let's just sit back and enjoy the absurdly-spun bullshit we'll be hearing from all parties over the next couple of months. I can see the future headlines now:
Harper says Green Economy Not Enough: Need Green Money
Dion says Green Money Comments Sign of Increasing Americanization
Layton/Lesbian Autoworker Association Launch Green Coveralls Campaign
And by the way, newly deputized nut bar federal environment minister John Baird is scheduled to be in Regina this week for a party fundraiser. I tell ya, I had to read that one twice. I'm sure it really icks him out to be in, around or near any kind of 'gina. I'm guessing he is definitely green when it comes to that. But when it comes to the environment, the only thing green about Baird is the bile he is saving up to spew at Dion over the next while.
Ah Rona, how we miss you and your steely-jawed sexy but not-too-smart approach. Looking at and listening to Snivelling Gopher-Cheeked Rodent Man hyper-blather like he's taken one too many of the 'blue' pills is just not as, well...stimulating.
Let's just sit back and enjoy the absurdly-spun bullshit we'll be hearing from all parties over the next couple of months. I can see the future headlines now:
Harper says Green Economy Not Enough: Need Green Money
Dion says Green Money Comments Sign of Increasing Americanization
Layton/Lesbian Autoworker Association Launch Green Coveralls Campaign
And by the way, newly deputized nut bar federal environment minister John Baird is scheduled to be in Regina this week for a party fundraiser. I tell ya, I had to read that one twice. I'm sure it really icks him out to be in, around or near any kind of 'gina. I'm guessing he is definitely green when it comes to that. But when it comes to the environment, the only thing green about Baird is the bile he is saving up to spew at Dion over the next while.
Ah Rona, how we miss you and your steely-jawed sexy but not-too-smart approach. Looking at and listening to Snivelling Gopher-Cheeked Rodent Man hyper-blather like he's taken one too many of the 'blue' pills is just not as, well...stimulating.
Labels: Dipsticks, Environment, Politics, Red Scared
posted by K-Dough at 4:03 PM
62 Comments:
That's why I'm all shaved down there. A quick wipe-down, and it's all good.
Christ I'd better start working...I have tons of admin crap to do, so of course I'm surfing the blogosphere like a mad man to avoid it. The irony is, without doing the admin, I don't get paid. Strange creatures, we....
Look at the surfing as brain calisthenics. You need balance. Balance makes Johnny happy, healthy and content. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
And by the way Leather: When you said "That's why I'm all shaved down there." you were lying. You are shaved down there to make your dick look bigger- just like me!
Thats not why I shave (although it does look more impressive). The wife already trembles in fear and awe. I find it cuts done on interruptions by saving her the trouble of picking the hair out of her teeth.
Nothing worse than a head lifting and blocking the view during the game, plus it's only polite.
Leather, there's a product out there than can help that peeing thing. It's called "Depends".
A green "gina"... is there a cure for that?
Joe C- you are increasignly becoming more Albertan by the day.
Have you stopped taking your meds? Have you stopped reading your bible?
Yikes.
I don't know why everybody keeps saying they're green. Outside I haven't seen one green person. Not one. Except maybe my friend Rosita, who turned green because she puked all over the streetcar on Queen street. She got sick cause she ate a tuna fish sangwitch that she found on the seat. I tole her, "don't eat that sagwitch, are you fuckin crazy? You can't eat sangwitches you find on the streetcar!" But she said she was hungry so she ate it.
But still she's the only green person I saw, so who are all these other green people you keep saying about? Are they from Mars?
Smenita: ah, you little genetic wonder you.
You forgot to mention the other green person you know- your l'il boyfriend Squeaky the Leprichaun with the pot belly of gold.
BTW kids- don't forget to click the Recommend This Post link at the bottom of each post on my main page. Your help in spreading the K-Love (disease?) is always appreciated and recompensed as often and rigidly as possible.
I keep telling you I don't know anyone named Squeaky. I don't care if he's green or not because I don't know him.
BTW - I tole my boyfriend that you were making fun of me and pretending his name was Squeaky and he said, and I kwote, "they're lucky they just faceless jerk-offs on the internet or I'd kick their heads in."
I don't think he really would kick your heads in because he's a gentle soul and loves me with his whole hart. He might run over you with his truck though... like he did to his uncle Luigi one time.
Smenita: you said "I don't think he really would kick your heads in because he's a gentle soul and loves me with his whole hart".
Or maybe it's because he can't feed himself or read the phone book?
dats a ok dough, za next day on da worksite I replace-a hees salami sangwich with a trowel in da mouth-va fongul mange cake bastard.
I didn't know there was such a thing as "Less" Abertan:) It's a fine Alberta tradition to just say what you mean:)
You'd make a good Albertan KD.
I'll have you know I've increased my meds (I had no choice, what with gun-toting and increased traffic congestion, Mrs. Joe thought it would be best), and I've never owned a bible... well maybe one, but I used it for spare rolling papers as a teenager. Turned out the waxed paper was just perfect for burning a fatty when the Zig Zags ran out.
It's those BC'ers you have to watch out for... multiple marriages, wives under 14...
Ha JC, we called that a Gideon's joint. The ink's a bit skanky tasting though.
Is Baird gay?
K, you know long time ago you asked if the pop-up window for comments was better. The pop-up window for comments takes long time to load because google is being an idiot. Just thought I should tell you that.
Yep... thats the one.
Ah, brings back memories. AC/DC, Led Zep... a little Jimmy Hendricks, and 4 guys crawling through the apartment desperately looking for a single rolling paper.
In the end, break out the knives, customize a 2 litre pop bottle... if you haven't used the bottle as part of your "We need beer" fund. If you have, then it's time for the bible.
Back in the Shwa where I grew up (?) our THC delivery system of choice was the bottle toker.
Joanne: You asked if John Baird is gay. I didn't say that. Did I say that? I didn't think I said that.
There are, however, rumours frequenting the Church Street (Rainbow Village) area of Toronto, propagated by so-called people "in the know".
Maybe I simply meant he'd be averse to vag, since he works with so many pussies?
K, thanks for changing the format.
As for Baird, this is not the first time I have read posts or comments hinting that he is gay. In several different blogs I have come across same kind of hints. Nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian so I just wonder if he is gay why is he still in the closet.
I'm not in the biz of inning or outing people.
LOL
hilarious.
I'm sure he doesn't mind being near a 'Gina, long as he doesn't have to do anything to it. Besides, they'll be mai-tais and paper umbrellas to make up for it.
Speakin' of Ginas, where has Smenita, everyone's favourite Euro-Canadian (?) anti-feminist been hiding out today?
Oh no you di-int just call me an "anti-feminist"! I am a full time feminist. And I'm seriously not gonna be coming back here too much if people keep pretending to be other people. Someone pretended to be my boyfriend's uncle Luigi who's dead, so I know it's not him. Even if he was a ghost I doubt he has access to the internet, and why would a ghost come on this blob anyway?
People who pretend to be people's uncle Luigis are mean.
Ciao bella Smenita: I don' unbeliebable how-a stupido you ees. But ay- you really gotta bella minna- you know wadda I meaning?
Now Ima dead, I canna see you naked ana time I wanna.
Hai rotto le palle con il tuo Inglese del cazzo!!
Wow... you've got a dirty Uncle Smenita. Good thing his name is Luigi, and not Sanchez:)
Smenita: Whatevvvvvver.
What do you think about my post today?
Okay you guys keep making fun of me. Oh, and thanks for nobody telling me it's called a "blog", not a "blob". I thought it was called a blob because it was, like, a blob of thoughts you put on the internet. But now I know it's a blog cause I STARTED MY OWN!!!
That's right! Now we'll see who makes fun of who!
Smenita's Curse will get you!
Oh, in case you want to see my blog and get cursed first hand, it's
http://smenitascurse.blogspot.com
Smenita: this is what I posted on your new blob:
Oh my god. It's official. The blogosphere just lost 400 IQ points.
Smenita you are a genetic experiment gone awry. Sure the monkey head took, but they gave you the intellect of a fruit fly.
Yikes. Nice blob though.
AND Smenita: you said I thought it was called a blob because it was, like, a blob of thoughts you put on the internet.
In your case, I think BLOB is fitting. You should stick with that nomenclature.
It's a Mad, Mad World, k.
But it's the madness that makes it worth living in Pam.
Personally, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Yay! I'm fuckin' sick of typing in qirsvut in a bizarre font that makes the letters unrecognizable.
I dont hava do a nothing. I jussa tink and da nummers comes onto da page. ay Ima dead already.
vafongul mange cakes
I hated it too, leather. I always fuck up when I have to type yzwrttyg and wonder if it's time for reading glasses.
Ay ma nefew Frankie- he come to me wanna day and ee say "zio luigi, I waanna make a da sex with Smenita, but da goat shes a look good to me too you see".
I say to a heem "Frankie, the goat shes a ok. But, you no gonna make a no bambinos with a dat goat so you should maybe make a da sex with the woman. Or, you make a da sex with both, but you gonna only just marrying da one who gonna smell better ay?
wadda do ay?
I dunno Zio Luigi- I've come across some pretty fine smelling goats in my day.
Pammie, once you get into the slippery slope of reading glasses, the denial becomes about needing a stronger prescription. I've had mine for six years, and they're really not doing the job anymore. But I'm a stubborn fuck, so here I am, straining as usual.
I lost a filling from one of my back molars too....I'm starting to enjoy the sharp corner on my tongue, so why bother getting it fixed? Tra la la la la, happy happy world...
All of the problems you've identified Leather are treatable through the measured use of illicit drugs.
Wait a sec, Doctor K-Dough will write you a script...
What I want to know is if you get smenitascurse, will penecillin make it go away... or is it one of those fuck-ups that stick with you forever.
leather,
My optometrist is a good friend of mine and we play the "age game" at every visit...He is VERY, VERY careful because he knows he's on thin ice..Don't worry about the reading Rx, it will level out eventually at ~ +2.25. Thank God we don't get progressively worse as we age or we'd all be blind at 65.
Pam, Leather, I have reading glasses that is +1.25. Got it two years ago. That is what you get for reading too many books. Unfortunately I don't use it often because it magnifies my eyes a bit;) Only when my head is bursting with pain and I have to read something then it is used. People my age usually don't have reading glasses:(
JC:
I contracted a horrendous case of Smenita when I was on the road with the metal band back in '85.
There was ooze where I never thought ooze could originate. There were violet rashes. Peeing was like crucifixion. My nipples grew arms long enough to reach back and punch me in the areolas.
It took a priest, 2 mickeys of spiced vodka, a VHS tape of 4 A-Team episodes,a water bong, some poppies and a hand job from a transsexual yogi to clear it up.
Actually, now that I think of it, the cure was worth the pain.
Back in the 80's, I remembering hearing about Smenita but I thought it was an Urban Sexual Myth. I've never known anyone who actually CONTACTED it. I'm in awe, once again.
You are truly the Lord of the Crabs, K.
K-dough says: "I'm sure it really icks him out to be in, around or near any kind of 'gina. I'm guessing he is definitely green when it comes to that."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Joe Calgary: "I didn't know there was such a thing as "Less" Abertan:) It's a fine Alberta tradition to just say what you mean:)"
THANK YOU for confirming for us all that when Steve Harper called Canada a "Northern European welfare state, in the worst sense of the word" in front of a hard-right Republican U.S. audience, he meant every word he said. And to think anyone would actually vote for someone who obviously despises our country and all it stands for!
Joanne: Is the pope (a former Hitler Youth) Catholic?
I wasn't insinuating. He was in the Hitler Youth; he's admitted it. He was young, mind you, and living in a totalitarian dictatorship, but still, I'm glad I don't have that in my past.
And you'd only enjoy it half as much as I would if I could do it!
...AND I'm sure some Catholic priests these days could give the Hitler youth back in the day a run for their money!
my head is spinning with all the blasphemy... some of the funniest in decades, though.
Homo, the pope is catholic and he was a former nazi youth. Now I am just puzzled about why you asked me that question.
Oh, I get it. It seems to me that when I asked if Baird was guy, you thought I asked a question to which the answer was widly known just like it is known that the pope is catholic, am I right?
yes dear
sorry, I'm still the exorcist, I just st-stutter.
Chucker, quit posting anonymous comments.
pussy cats is the kwaziest peoples
joanne,
he no chucker, he exorcist.
Hello Exorcist. Hello Joanne.
You do, of course, realize that I am able to trace your ISP addresses and digital footprints right to your front door. Don't you?
I know the identities of all humans who play in my midst.
Sleep tight...humans.
HAL, you television camera, go back to your spaceship or I am going to find you for real and program you so that the only thing you can see from now on is stephen harper's face.
LOL, K.
No new post for today?
Joanne- it's up up and away! Just now...
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