The Trees Must Die!
Happy Shit Day #1, my special friends. Some of you may find this to be just another boring post on an unsexy local waste management issue. Those people may want to visit this happy LINK instead of reading on. Go forth and stupify my lovely goggled and helmeted drool-dispensers!
For those of you who actually think garbage is riveting reading, finger-push your glasses closer to your faces, scrunch your noses up, adjust your breast pocket pen packs and turn down that soft rock Manilow Marathon, because here it comes.
The Issue: There has been talk lately of taxing Toronto grocery stores for using plastic bags or finding otherwise inventive ways to decrease the bazillions of non-biodegradable bags we put into landfills every year.
The Corporate Bullshit: Cathy Cirko, vice-president of the Canadian Plastics Industry Association, says it's unfair to pick on plastic bags because they don't make up a large fraction (I'm assuming she is referring to tonnage) of Toronto's trash. (Source: Toronto Star, Jan 15.)
I mean, who, with a working brain, celebrates this kind of dark news?: Plastics packaging growth expected to outpace paper at least until 2010.
The Sensible Response: Uh, Cathy, do you think we are all as stupid as the happy link clicking mouthbreathers above? Plastic is not an organic compound. Plastic bags, despite the fact that they weigh less than other non-recycled garbage, do not degrade. Plastic is a solid substance that bloats what little landfill space we have left.
Look, I'm no tree hugger, although I may be guilty of a little tender sapling fondling once in awhile. The point is, I'm willing to sacrifice the lives of a few trees if I can put my groceries in a paper bag and have them recycled into new bags while more renewable resource trees grow to replace the ones we cut down in the first place. Forestry - an ecologically sustainable industry- is suffering right now; wouldn't it make a lot of sense to buy more forestry product if it helps absolutely everyone involved?
Or is it just that our world is now completely dominated by happy link-clicking zombie idiot people?
For those of you who actually think garbage is riveting reading, finger-push your glasses closer to your faces, scrunch your noses up, adjust your breast pocket pen packs and turn down that soft rock Manilow Marathon, because here it comes.
The Issue: There has been talk lately of taxing Toronto grocery stores for using plastic bags or finding otherwise inventive ways to decrease the bazillions of non-biodegradable bags we put into landfills every year.
The Corporate Bullshit: Cathy Cirko, vice-president of the Canadian Plastics Industry Association, says it's unfair to pick on plastic bags because they don't make up a large fraction (I'm assuming she is referring to tonnage) of Toronto's trash. (Source: Toronto Star, Jan 15.)
I mean, who, with a working brain, celebrates this kind of dark news?: Plastics packaging growth expected to outpace paper at least until 2010.
The Sensible Response: Uh, Cathy, do you think we are all as stupid as the happy link clicking mouthbreathers above? Plastic is not an organic compound. Plastic bags, despite the fact that they weigh less than other non-recycled garbage, do not degrade. Plastic is a solid substance that bloats what little landfill space we have left.
Look, I'm no tree hugger, although I may be guilty of a little tender sapling fondling once in awhile. The point is, I'm willing to sacrifice the lives of a few trees if I can put my groceries in a paper bag and have them recycled into new bags while more renewable resource trees grow to replace the ones we cut down in the first place. Forestry - an ecologically sustainable industry- is suffering right now; wouldn't it make a lot of sense to buy more forestry product if it helps absolutely everyone involved?
Or is it just that our world is now completely dominated by happy link-clicking zombie idiot people?
Labels: Corporate Bullshit, Environment
posted by K-Dough at 12:40 PM
47 Comments:
K-Dough, kick up the protest a notch: everybody boycott grocery stores using plastic demon bags: shop at No Frills- bring your own bags, or better yet the use boxes they provide.
With a lower per item grocery bill one can buy more, eat more, get fat and become a burden on the healthcare sytem instead!
Loblaws has said it was interested in scaling back plastic bag use...
That is encouraging.
KD, did they provide any detailed plans ... like a paper bag option, or maybe a deposit/return fee for their Bin Shopping totes?
No details- they just said something like they were concerned about the use of plastic bags and would look at options.
I just read another argument for plasic by the corporate demons that said getting rid of them would be targetting the poor and seniors because they rely on them to get their food home on the TTC.
Re; The Trees Must Die!
If you ash us, we say willow you ginkgo pick on someone your own size?! Holly crab, as olive you know we're poplar but hey- we're pining for a little privet here!
Trees: Holy fuck, that really leaves me wondering which branch of comedy you have your roots in.
Hi, K.
Isn't it a wonderful day? finally like winter is supposed to be. Snow, lots of snow, slushy ugly snow mixed with salt on the roads and sidewalks. Cars driving by, fast and dumping snow on people's pants. Now if it snows for another few days may be until thursday, I would be very very happy.
As for plastic bags, hmmm, I don't do grocery shopping except when I want to master my culinary skills then I go grocery shopping.
Wonderful day indeed. The MSM are preaching the end of the world due to the current "blizzard" mega-storm we are supposedly experiencing. There were remote feeds from the panic-stricken streets of Toronto today, making it seem as if the city was paralyzed with winter fear.
Uh, I wore my Fluvogs and didn't slip once this am. Biz as usual.
Montreal actually looks like it got some snow. We sure as hell didn't.
K, I am happy with what I get since this might be all the snow we get this winter.
I wore my running shoes today since the forecasted snow wasn't enough to do any serious damage to my feet. Just like you said biz as usual except some drivers are going crazy with this 5-10cm of snow.
Anyways, I have no opinion on the plastic bags. I am in the process of forming one on that issue;)
JOanne: If you have no opinion then you are the perfect empty vessel to fill up with mine. Please do so at your leisure.
We have lots of snow and it's wonderful. By the weekend, the ski hills should be in great shape. I drove to work in 4WD and felt like a true Canadian.
I think we are using way too many plastic shopping bags. I like the No-Frills approach (buy the bin, use a box, buy the bag). We should be using cloth shopping bags and the reusable bins and plastic only very occasionally. I like paper shopping bags and try to reuse them whenever possible.
Pam - cool. Now we just have to get you out of your SUV and into a hybrid!
This must be a first - I agree with something K-Jelly say! I hate plastic bags because they suck for carrying shoes. My heels always poke through and then they fall out or one falls out and I only have one shoe.
What's the use of one shoe? About the same use as a plastic bag... good for nothing but garbage.
K, I am open to opinions;)Your crush is here.
Pam, I took the TTC and was late for my class and I felt like a true Canadian too since I was late because of the snow.
Ahhhh Smenita: You truly are one of nature's enigmatic treats aren't you dearest?
M-M-M my Smenita!
Oh Joanne, i just read your comments about plastic bags. What, you don't go shopping? Okay girl, you and me, we gotta go shopping. I don't know about culinary shopping, I'm not into kinky stuff, but for shoes and clothes... Oh my God!
I bet you can be way more pretty than a penguin with a sord.
To the tune of My Sharona?
Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Smenita?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line Smenita!
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Smenita...
Smenita, you are so naive. I do go shopping but the bags you get with clothes and shoes is different than the ones you get when you go grocery shopping.
As for my penguin, it is a warning to people. It clearly demonstrates that "Don't mess with me or else..."
Joanne: Indeed, your avatar says "don't mess with me or else"...if your opponent happens to be a stuffed animal, cute cartoon or adorable figurine.
I love the shopping bags at Lululemon..They have the nicest paper shopping bags. I feel much better about buying an $90 sweatshirt if it's in a Lulu bag.
Joanne, your penguin is not scary. It's very cute, but not scary AT ALL.Sorry..
Pam: You have Lululemon all the way up there in Ottawa? Wow- I guess things have really changed since you got your first Starbucks last year eh?
Joanne: Oh, like a penguin's really gonna have a sord. I don't think so. I've seen lots of penguins at the zoo and how many had sords? Not one did. Plus, if a penguin ever came after me with a sord, I'd just blow dry his ass on max power and melt the sucker.
I guess you must go shopping for all your "culinary" kinky stuff. Maybe its so you can do some cooking with K-Jelly.
I like LuluLemon too. They have very stretchy stuff which is good for my boyfriend, if you know what I mean.
Smartass, I think we had our Lulu before Toronto had one. Besides, I was wearing their clothes when they were mail-order.
Pfft.
:(
It might be cute but it has a strong ninja background.
Pam- kiss kiss. So how long have you been "mail ordering" your clothes?
By the way, Lulu was a brilliant marketing idea.
Smenita, first say "sword" instead of "sord".
Second, the penguin is going to kick your butt before you have a chance to lift your blow dryer.
By the way Smenita: When you said this, "I like LuluLemon too. They have very stretchy stuff which is good for my boyfriend, if you know what I mean." all I could picture was a midget in lycra Yoga tights, doing downward dog with a turkey leg in his pants.
Anyways, I am off since I have a class at 4. Have fun.
OHH..bad visuals. Very bad. K-dough, don't ruin my love for Lulu...No midgets in groove pants.
Joanne: Ohhhh! Okay Ms. Smartypants. If you wanna call it a "sword", that's fine with me. I suppose when you go shopping you always look for a "half-pwice swale". Uh-oh, are you gonna be "swoar" with me? I'm not feeling very "swafe" right now.
K-Jelly: Oh no you di-int just say that about my boyfriend! I told you he's not a midget, and that thing in his pants is not a turkey. (Unless you mean a sausage, ha ha).
Smenita: LOL- you are a garden slug of a woman! If the military could harness the awesome raw power of your stupidity Canada would rule the world.
Oh no you dint jus threaten me did you bi-otch? Do so again and I will have the nurse on your ward confiscate your latest issue of Elle.
Du-uh. Whatevah. It wasn't a real threat! I was speaking metamorphically.
Smenita: ahhh...yesssss... metamorphically... like the dim-witted pupae of the rare, retarded and exotic Stupid-Assed Butterfly.
I don't know what pupae is, but I think you're full of it.
Oh no you is-nt my boyfriend Squeaky! My boyfriend is not a midget! He's just short cause his dad smokes a lot!
But I like midgets because my grandmother was a midget, so you're okay Squeaky, and I think it's sweet that you sticking up for me against K-Jelly and his friends.
When is the next circus in town?
Squeaky:
Umm, don't pop a vein in your cute little head you horse-dicked half-pint. It's all in jest ...
By the way, what circus do you work for? I banged a bunch of midgets once in '87 after way too much JD and bag of blow.
Sorry to interrupt this bizarre lover's exchange....but what will the pooper scoopers do without those plastic bags?
And now that Christmas is fresh in my mind, how about all those fucking molded styrene plastic packages the size of cars used to package Barbie dolls/Hot wheels, etc? There's the next challenge...that plastic industry sure ain't doing it's part.
One more thought.....I had no idea "My Sharona" was about pedophilia until I was just reminded of that disturbing lyric.
When Playboy bunnies die, do they bury them with their fake boob implants in or out? Are cheek implants and lip injections biodegradable?
Or wait a minute... what kind of plastic bags were you talking about again...
Leather- not so sure about the pedophilia thang, but pretty much all late 70s early 80s rock shite was about "young" girls".
And to think, I always thought of you as one of the immoral majority.
Sheena- re: fake tits.
Silicone- no.
Saline- I think they would qualify as biodegradable, but I'm no expert in environmental fake tit science.
To sum up: Does anyone know if fake saline breast implants are environmentally friendly.
I'm just remembering that wimpy looking lead singer...couple that with "touch of the younger kind"....and that fact I can't picture him with a girl....there ya go.
Re plastic bags. Yes, they're bad for the environment. But I also use mine as garbage bags once I've got them home. What am I supposed to do without them: buy plastic bags for my garbage? (You can't use paper for wet stuff and, sadly, although I do recycle as much as possible, I do, like virtually everyone else, generate garbage).
Re snow: I am torn on this issue. On the one hand. It was not good for the environment to be so out of whack that trees were budding in December. On the other hand, I HATE SNOW!!! FUCK SNOW!!!
Re fake breasts: Don't do it. They've been the cause of all kinds of medical problems. They are also a waste of money and look ridiculous! But then, what do I know. I am gay, after all.
Homo- re: "You can't use paper for wet stuff"- I dont know what kind of wet stuff you're thhrowing away (ick), but mine goes in the organic green bin.
Then again, they don't have the green thing figured out for highrises yet...and you're over in Vaseline Towers aren't you?
K, I will grow old by the time I understand the green bin stuff.
I get the recycle thing but before I put anything in the green bin I have to take out its manual to look up if it does belong in the green bin or not.
Smenita, time to practice my french on you.
Tu et ton ami sont des nains.
Man, it's funky down hear!
KD I remember you ... diff'rent name back then?
Those where the gory days, eh?
You where spillin' so much blow on me I din't feel the balz-on-balz concushun fer more'n a weak 'n a haff!
I thought you sead you loved me but I wuz rong 'n now I suffer the daily t'aint of Smenita!
Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me!
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