The Missing Bush Dialogue
Media printed the following George W. Bush quotes yesterday, as overheard by a secret microphone over the weekend at a world leaders luncheon. Problem is, there was no transcription included for the other participants in the conversation. Therefore, in order to offer some context, K-Dough has provided the missing dialogue to help you better understand the exchange.
Here is the quote that appeared in the papers: "You eight hours? Me too. Russia's a big country and you're a big country. Takes him eight hours to fly home. Not Coke, diet Coke. ... Russia's big and so is China. Yo, Blair! What're you doing? Are you leaving," Bush said.
Here is what the White House didn't want you to hear:
Putin: That hooker got me really drunk last night. Around midnight, I got the munchies and ate so many cold pierogies it took me 8 hours to put on my pants this morning!
Bush: You eight hours? Me too.
Putin: Uh George, your pants are on backwards buddy. And it looks like you had a little peney-leakage there on the front too... (laughter around the table).
Bush: Russia's a big country and you're a big country!
Putin: Um, ok buddy. You don't have to be a big baby about it.
Bush: (To a puzzled Tony Blair) Takes him eight hours to fly home!
Putin: To fly home? No, I said to "put on my pants". But speaking of "fly", yours is over your asshole right now (guffaws and chortles from other world leaders). But seriously George, I think you spilled your Coke on the front of your pants there bud.
Bush: Not Coke, diet Coke!
Putin: Whatever. Sorry, didn't mean to mention "coke". I know that's a bit of a sore spot for you...(laughter around the table- some leaders are actually crying).
Bush: Russia's big and so is China!
Putin: Christ, talking to this guy is like talking to a four year old. George, are you reciting geographical facts from your briefing notes again? What does geopolitical sphere of influence mean? Why don't you just ask your best friend Tony? Oops. Look, there he goes...
Bush: (Nervously yells across the room) Yo, Blair! What're you doing? Are you leaving?
Here is the quote that appeared in the papers: "You eight hours? Me too. Russia's a big country and you're a big country. Takes him eight hours to fly home. Not Coke, diet Coke. ... Russia's big and so is China. Yo, Blair! What're you doing? Are you leaving," Bush said.
Here is what the White House didn't want you to hear:
Putin: That hooker got me really drunk last night. Around midnight, I got the munchies and ate so many cold pierogies it took me 8 hours to put on my pants this morning!
Bush: You eight hours? Me too.
Putin: Uh George, your pants are on backwards buddy. And it looks like you had a little peney-leakage there on the front too... (laughter around the table).
Bush: Russia's a big country and you're a big country!
Putin: Um, ok buddy. You don't have to be a big baby about it.
Bush: (To a puzzled Tony Blair) Takes him eight hours to fly home!
Putin: To fly home? No, I said to "put on my pants". But speaking of "fly", yours is over your asshole right now (guffaws and chortles from other world leaders). But seriously George, I think you spilled your Coke on the front of your pants there bud.
Bush: Not Coke, diet Coke!
Putin: Whatever. Sorry, didn't mean to mention "coke". I know that's a bit of a sore spot for you...(laughter around the table- some leaders are actually crying).
Bush: Russia's big and so is China!
Putin: Christ, talking to this guy is like talking to a four year old. George, are you reciting geographical facts from your briefing notes again? What does geopolitical sphere of influence mean? Why don't you just ask your best friend Tony? Oops. Look, there he goes...
Bush: (Nervously yells across the room) Yo, Blair! What're you doing? Are you leaving?
Labels: Fuk Amerika, Stupid
posted by K-Dough at 10:06 AM
8 Comments:
Shit!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-krassner/excrement-in-the-news_b_24536.html
The last line was the best.
hahahaha! coffe never tasted so good as this morning's cup.
where's the missing 18 and a half minutes?
The remaining 18 minutes Bush spent in the washroom, trying in vain to figure out how to put his pants on correctly. When a Secret Service operative burst into the stall and said, "Let me help you Chief", Bush retorted "No stupid head! I can do it myself!"
Another K-Dough exclusive!
Nice colors. Keep up the good work. thnx!
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Very best site. Keep working. Will return in the near future.
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