Meeting of Great Minds
Harper: (Thinks to self: Oh-my-god. Am I actually standing next to him?) (To Bush) Great day for a game of golf sir. Um, might I say that I love your khakis. Nothing says Commander-in- Briefs like a stiff pair of khakis I always say. Oops! Did I say say briefs? Silly me, I meant briefs! Sorry chiefs. I...
Bush: Shut up, smile and stop bobbin' around like a goddamned billy goat Pete.
Harper: Steve sir. It's Steven. Steven Harper sir.
Bush: Never heard of him. Now listen up Pete, these bastards just want us to smile. Can you shut the fuck up and do that Pete?
Harper: Sure. I mean "Yes sir! Commander-in-Chief sir". (Whispering from side of mouth) What are you gonna do about that Kim Jong-Il guy sir? You gonna show 'em what's what? You gonna tear 'em up into little pieces of bulkoki?
Bush: Kim who? Sounds like a girl to me Pete.
Harper: Yeah, I know. (Nervously) Ha ha ha. Look, I don't really know how to say this but there is just one little thing I was supposed to mention. I know you don't have much time but could we possibly talk about, oh you know, that stupid softwood problem?
Bush: (Turns smiling to face Harper) Look asshole, I don't know what Laura said to your wife over there but I saw 'em snickerin'. Alls I got to say on that score is I'm seeing a dick doctor and he says in no time the little soldier 'll be standing at attention again, if you catch my drift. Then I'll give Laura and your wife something to snicker about I tell you, yessirree. Woo weeahhhhh doggy!
Harper: Oh gee, that's not what I...
Bush: Any how, shake and smile again cowboy. I gotta fly. Those fuckin' golf clubs ain't just gonna swing themselves is they?
Harper: Ok. Call me! (Whispers while biting lip gently and holding back tears): God, I love him.
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K-Note: And if this didn't completely suffice your laughs quota today, check out this nutcase's blog, ironically titled Dr. Roy's Thoughts.
Bush: Shut up, smile and stop bobbin' around like a goddamned billy goat Pete.
Harper: Steve sir. It's Steven. Steven Harper sir.
Bush: Never heard of him. Now listen up Pete, these bastards just want us to smile. Can you shut the fuck up and do that Pete?
Harper: Sure. I mean "Yes sir! Commander-in-Chief sir". (Whispering from side of mouth) What are you gonna do about that Kim Jong-Il guy sir? You gonna show 'em what's what? You gonna tear 'em up into little pieces of bulkoki?
Bush: Kim who? Sounds like a girl to me Pete.
Harper: Yeah, I know. (Nervously) Ha ha ha. Look, I don't really know how to say this but there is just one little thing I was supposed to mention. I know you don't have much time but could we possibly talk about, oh you know, that stupid softwood problem?
Bush: (Turns smiling to face Harper) Look asshole, I don't know what Laura said to your wife over there but I saw 'em snickerin'. Alls I got to say on that score is I'm seeing a dick doctor and he says in no time the little soldier 'll be standing at attention again, if you catch my drift. Then I'll give Laura and your wife something to snicker about I tell you, yessirree. Woo weeahhhhh doggy!
Harper: Oh gee, that's not what I...
Bush: Any how, shake and smile again cowboy. I gotta fly. Those fuckin' golf clubs ain't just gonna swing themselves is they?
Harper: Ok. Call me! (Whispers while biting lip gently and holding back tears): God, I love him.
____________________________________
K-Note: And if this didn't completely suffice your laughs quota today, check out this nutcase's blog, ironically titled Dr. Roy's Thoughts.
Labels: Fuk Amerika, Harpocrites, Stupid
posted by K-Dough at 9:52 AM
17 Comments:
Alls is one of my all time favourite hick words, second only to youse.
In Quebec, Alls is a lemony lozenge you suck on when you have a stuffy nose.
J- if you indeed do have a dose of K-Dough, you might want to seek out some penicillin from your MD.
Alls are to be taken orally?
Hilarious! But bitingly realistic.
A friend of mine- an Italian restaurateur with an obscure command of the English language once said upon having just quit smoking: "I'm just trying to convince myself that I know that I don't smoke."
He also said "Happy Easter!". To which I said "It's not Easter, it's Thanksgiving Day". To which he replied "I know, but Easter is easier to say".
your Quebec "alls" joke, K-Dough is hilarious.
but you have me burning mad to insult my hero, W, saviour of the world!
Leatherhands, I think Bush was unwittingly, or, for Chuckercanuck, ingeniously, summing up the Canada/US relationship as it now stands. Bush has his remote on the Time Ghost.
Oh, and K-Dough, I think this may be the funniest thing you've ever written!
I will probably be struck dead by god for saying this but I was really impressed with the diplomatic propaganda Harper spewed right there in front of the MSM today.
He was talking about the passport issue and said congress should not close its doors or the terrorists will have won. A Liberal leader would never in a million years have said something like that. I think it was brilliant in a communications sense to use their own twisted fear-laden rhetoric as a tool against them.
Ok, forget about god striking me down, I think I'm about to take my own life.
I agree K-dough, but in my worldview, I believe God blesses me for thinking that!
geeze k-$, they had a whopping 40 minutes together...i think 18 minutes of the tape went missing.
STEVE (he ran under the name steve harper in his first bid for office, so maybe President Pudding and Pie is bringing things full circle) apparently was down on his knees begging for an autograph too. declined.
can't wait for the new passports which identify political affiliation!!!!!!
It will much simpler than that:
"With Us or Against Us"
scout,
down on his knees, huh? I'd pay for a picture of that.
K-Dough, I read at chuckers that you where a high school dropout yet you got your masters degree. how did you do that? I mean to get in to university you need high school diploma. I am not judging you. Just being curious.
Pam, I learned this from my Georgia Peach friend:
Y'all - the southern hickspeak for "you"
All y'all - plural form for addressing a group.
LOL Sheena,
I love all y'all.
I love your website. It has a lot of great pictures and is very informative.
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