Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Droning On and On and On...

What's all this about Canada needing more drones in the military? I'm confused. Is that a proposal to send MPs into battle? Are they talking about embedding CBC teat-swilling slugs like Don Newman in Afghanistan? Or do they mean we should be sending autoworkers overseas? I just don't get it. Can anyone clarify this for me? Am I stoned? Do you know where I put my socks? Ha ha ha. Socks! I said socks. If you say socks a bunch of times it loses all meaning. I wonder if god wears socks. What do you think? What were we talking about?

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26 Comments:

Blogger Joe Calgary said...

It's a top-secret, ultra hush hush, don't tell Layton about it, program.

Here's how it works:

You take a swarm of male honeybee's, attach miniture camera's on their stomachs, and little banners to their butts that say "God doesn't love the Taliban". Then you release the little buggers into the poppy fields, where they collect all that good poppy pollen, which they bring back to our troops, who have been using the camera's and an electro shock button to steer the little tykes. You unload the Poppy Pollen, meant for use on the next Friday night, and remove the Camera to be replaced with a minute amount of C4.

You then re-release the drones into the poppy fields, and using the button for the electro-shocker, set off the little C4 charges, thereby blowing up everything within a few feet.

The end result is good pictures, good dope, dead taliban, blown up poppy plants, and a bunch of dead bees that were gonna die anyway.

Brillant move on the part of the Military.

10:59 AM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

JC- wouldn't that have been the Liberal plan though? Surely, you're not saying Conservatives might support the use of illicit drugs?

By the way- your explanation sounds ilke it could've been written in the style of classic poets- i.e. under the influence of opium...

11:22 AM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger Joe Calgary said...

The Libs couldn't have come up with such a devious plan for several simple reasons:

1) They'd argue over the use exclusively of male honeybees, and people like Carolyn Parrish would protest the lack of female bees, which would derail the program as part of it's success relies on the disposability of the male bee.

2) The Liberals wouldn't want to say anything negative about the Taliban... indeed they'd invite them to create a support charity in Canada.

3) While the use of mind altering drugs is acceptable to a liberal, the use of an altered mind is more acceptable to a Tory.

4) Liberals frown on any type of abuse, therefore electro-shock steering is out.

5) Liberals hate spending money on the military, so they'd be upset at spending money on c4.

So you see, only a Tory could endorse this plan... and I refuse to either endorse or deny your statement regarding my men... metal, mental, mentally ah whatever... cause it might incrim, incrimp???

Well, you get the idea.

12:19 PM, July 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you find your socks, K-dough? I'd hate to see your little toes get cold in your sandals.

12:41 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

NO chance of getting cold toes in the T.O. these days- it's hotter 'n Georgia asphalt out there!

JC: #3 was your best- I laughed. I cried. I peed my pants- well, not my pants per se...

1:19 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger scout said...

if you play the cd backwards it says 'skcos'. could be a tory brainwashing technique.

1:29 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger Sheena said...

Ripping off Sheena's socks, too, eh?

1:31 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Sheena- you aren't the first upstanding Ukrainian girl who's socks I've ripped off.

You certainly won't be the last.

1:36 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Pam- No seriously. I used to be an mobile emergency podiatrist (MEP) in the Ukraine during the summers of my university years. It was the cash baby. Couldn't resist it. Oh, that and all the free fried smoked pig fat they plied me with.
Probably why I have a bizarre fetish for Studynets even now.

1:52 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Pam- No seriously. I used to be an mobile emergency podiatrist (MEP) in the Ukraine during the summers of my university years. It was the cash baby. Couldn't resist it. Oh, that and all the free fried smoked pig fat they plied me with.
Probably why I have a bizarre fetish for Studynets even now.

1:53 PM, July 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My apologies. I had no idea you were an MEP.There is nothing sexier than an MEP in full uniform, smelling of pig fat.
Boy, does that bring back memories.

2:21 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Mammaries - like the corners of our pants. Murky water-coloured- oh nevermind.

2:27 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Leather- ahh the exciting world of high stakes business transactions.
Movers and shakers and stinky ass socially retard moula mongers.

Re- your foot fashion q: For me it's one of the following 3:
Burgundy Fleuvogs by day;
Cross-trainers with half socks for play; and sockless sandals at all other times!!!!!

3:34 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger Joe Calgary said...

I'm one of those whose hatred of shoes and socks knows no bounds.

At work:

Sandals, unless it's winter, then gucci's and no socks.

At home:

barefeet, unless it's winter, then barefeet, unless it's time for work. $10 bucks for some little prat to shovel the walks is a fair price to avoid shoes.

At play:

Sandals, Shoes with no socks, barefeet.

I went to my grad shoeless, my wedding in sandals and no socks, and my old mans funeral in barefeet.

Curse all socks... unless I'm working out, and then it's ankle socks and runners only, and that's for everyone else in the gym.

I could start a "Sock" bank, for sockless people... barely worn or not worn at all.

5:42 PM, July 04, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Right on. Bare everything! The less separating you from reality the better!

10:14 PM, July 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

leather,
My husband had a really hard time wearing sandals years ago. I think he found them a little "girlie". I bought him some slides to wear around the yard and eventually he was comfortable wearing sandals (sockless, OF COURSE). For some reason, I still find it a little disconcerting to see his bare feet in sandals. It's fine for other men, but he just seems so... naked.

8:38 AM, July 05, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Pam: have you talked about this issue with a "professional"?

10:28 AM, July 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I've discussed it with my MEP. Does that count?

10:30 AM, July 05, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

ha! yes. but they are only trained in short term foot-related emergencies. You should be talking to a bipedal psychologist.

10:36 AM, July 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Huh? I was told MEPs had extensive training in bipedal psychology as well as breast examinations. OH GOD. I'm so stupid.

11:48 AM, July 05, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

I can't believe you fell for the "Trust me- I'm a registered Vaginist. I did a minor in Vaginology at Harvard" line either!

1:34 PM, July 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, how was I to know? It was dark in that pub and I'd had a few to drink. It seemed reasonable and his Vaginist ID sticker looked authentic.

4:07 PM, July 05, 2006  
Blogger Tarkwell Robotico said...

sandals and socks? how else does someone where sandals? show my toes? that's insanity. next, you'll say I shouldn't have a pen handy everywhere I go.

5:42 PM, July 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work
wireless plans

11:04 PM, July 18, 2006  
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