Speech From Satan's Throne
Why hasn't anyone in the MSM or punditry connected the dots yet in the wake of yesterday's Throne Speech? Can no one see the apocalyptic plot that is unfolding and is so crystal clear to me?Let's see: Policy plank 1: Clean up government.
Policy plank 2: Build a bunch of new jails.
You know what that says to me? Stephen Harper is going to arrest, purge and lock-up civil servants en masse in medieval style dungeons and install his own blue winged monkeys in their places! And I swear I saw a horn pop right out of Michaelle Jean's forehead during the speech, when she got to the part about the GST.
Where are the Chretien-era master monster-slayers when you need them? Warren? Are you in there? Helllllllllllllllllllllllo. Is this thing on?
posted by K-Dough at 7:34 AM
57 Comments:
Sheesh, someone has his seal-thong in a twist this morning.
Listen, you can insult the feds all you want. You can insult their platform and what they intend to do about jailing nasty, evil, untrustworthy civil servants. You can even insult Ashley MacIsaac (as easy as that is).
But I'll be damned if I'm going to sit idly by and let you insult my darling Michaelle Jean. She's done nothing wrong (except for the odd pro-Quebec independence rally) and remains one of the hottest political women in Canada.
Now retract your comment or I'll send Ashley back to your blog to reduce us to tears with his stupidity.
Now now, Peter. Just because you have a baby boner over the GG doesn't mean you have to lose your head. You needn't throw the baby out with the bathwater. I've had sex with many demons from Hades (and other GTA towns, like Woodbridge) and I'm still perfectly normal.
That said, our country needs to be on constant watch for evil infil-traitors. Consider me the Canadian Department of Homeland Security Against Netherworld Invaders.
Now you're comparing Michaelle to an underworld demon? You're suggesting that you're normal? You're suggesting that Woodbridge women are devils... well, I might agree with that one.
Bash your Tories, pet your Mitsou, love your Habs, and inslut Ashley, but leave my Michaelle alone!
(and my Kathryn Humphries and Jennifer Valentyne for that matter).
yeah, I need the same clarification:
how does one inslut someone? it sounds rather skanky.
I'd like to inslut the GG. I knew she was horny.
How about "a really shy person who desires multiple sex partners".
Chucker you asked "how does one inslut someone??
For me it was alien abduction. I was inslutted aboard a UFO by aliens that all looked like Bon Jovi in the early 1980s, and the effects have not worn off yet.
That's why my alter ego - Sven Sexhammer- even now thrives on victims in the garden of sexual delights.
ohhhh. thanks for the clarifications (hilarious they be as usual).
When I saw the Danish Cartoons, I felt inslutted.
Term: Harper ( Noun. from Can. mythology
Definition: The Malamute-eyed, Stetson wearing beast of the badlands of Alberta. The Harper has been long-feared by children, who have heard they may wake to find him standing beside their beds in the dark of night, shaking their hands coldly and murmuring incessantly about child care funding.
I see a simple typo has led to some humourous retorts. I suppose it isn't worth mentioning I meant to type: insult.
K-Dough, I love the definition of a Harper.
Time to discuss the beauty of Sandra Pupatello.
Peter: you said "Time to discuss the beauty of Sandra Pupatello. "
One word: fading.
Term: Harper (from Almanac of Canadian Mythology)
Great hero of the western plains. Born in the center of the universe where his genius is most blithely misunderstood by plump panzies who serve their master, BalzeBuzz. Harper rescued Canada from the Brain-Rot of Liberal-Think and the do-goodiness of TVOntario.
Term: "Pauncharello" (70s kitsch Albertan TV character)
Definition:
Pauncharello, and his sidekicks, the macho criminal-beater Deb Gray, and her lovechild, Stockboy, ride the waterways of the west on jet skis, searching out hamburger stands, lesbians and swilling soda pop.
Anyone interested in GG, listen up I have news for you. I don't think GG is very interested in Commoners such as yourselves. GG is under the royal family wing becuase she is GG and she will be interested in Princes and kind or billioners. Anyways, I don't care about GG, I want Prince William.
Joanne,
When your Prince is in his 40s, he will look like his dad.
Don't forget that.
His dad is just yuck, yuck, yuck. My prince has inherited the looks of his late mommy. And I don't want him when he is in his 40s, I want him now.
My Prince drives a little red corvette.
Well, have your way with him and toss him. I wouldn't take the chance that he will inherit his father's looks or charming personality.I think he will look like a Prince Charles/Stephen Harper hybrid when he hits 40.
I know these things. Trust me.
Will then I will toss him out when he is close to looking anything like charles/harper. But he is a good sight now.
mark something, you got me wrong. i told Pam that William doesn't look anything like his father, but he looks like his mother. I didn't say that I like boys who inherit their mommy's looks.
"boys who look like their mommies?
I forget what the name of that is... anyone..."
Chip Off the Old Boob Factor
My son looks just like his mommy. I don't think he'd be too happy if I told him he was a chip of the Old Boob. (And I'm not too fussy on the OLD part of that).
May be mark meant to say that you shouldn't like any guyz who look like their mommy. It is probably because he looks like his daddy.
no, Joanne, its okay to be attracted to men who look like their mommies. I would think it strange though - should men really have over-wide heart-shaped bums?
Where it gets realllllly scary is when a man can suckle himself to sleep with his own boob.
Mama always said to stay away from guys like that.
You must distinguish between guys who look like their mommies, and guys who are "mommy's boys"...it's the latter you should stay the hell away from.
It's funny how effeminate facial features on a guy makes him "gorgeous" but masculine facial features on a woman makes her a "bull-dyke." How'd THAT come to be.
k-dough,I find lactating men are a huge turnoff.
And WTF is this about over-wide, heart-shaped bums? I'm a little inslutted by that comment. Are you implying that all women who have given birth have fat asses? You are on very thin ice here...
Oh God.
Chucker, i wouldn't want to be seen with a guy who has ver-wide heart-shaped bum. But A guy who gets his good looks from his mother is no problem.
Pam, I wouldn't know about the wide bums because I have never given birth. May be you should ask chucker that question.
Leather, now mommy's boys that is something I try to stay away from. Ever seen a guy who gets a call from his mom at six pm so she can ask him when he is coming home. Then she calls him every half hour to ask him when is going to leave and come home. I had the misfortune of working with a momma's boy on a project and it was the worst team project I ever did.
I'm one of those freaks who likes big bottomed girls. There are a lot of us out there. Give me a curvy, substantial woman who's comfortable in her own skin, and I won't look twice at an overly made-up, self absorbed rake.
And besides, most of the guys I know who are always looking for a "perfect ass" have Harper bellies.
Pam- I'm sure no one meant to inslut you.
BTW- My wife gave birth about 17 months ago and for the record, has an absolutely fantastic ass!
Yeeeehawwwwww!
mark something- are you sure you aren't an Ashley in Mark's clothing? Or is it just that you are drunk and typing with oven mitts on again?
Joanne: I don't like to think I'm a "commoner" and I could have Michaelle Jean anytime I wanted... if I wasn't married to the love of my life.
Secondly: I think Pam hit the hammer-on-the-nail by suggesting that Willy is going to age into big-eared Chuckie in about 20 yr.
However, live for the moment. Take your prince now.
Thirdly: K, yes, fantastic.
K-Dough...ride'em cowboy!
Oh yeah Peter, Sandra Pupatello...growl!
Peter, you must have some connections that you can get GG whenever you want if you weren't married to the love of your life. I wish I could the say the same about william but alas I must watch from afar and witness my handsome prince turn into a pot bellied king in 20 years.
I am very hungry and I desperately need foond in my system so i am off. See you all later.
Mark s- I just hope the oven mitts are actually on your hands and not filled with mashed potatoes as you thrash about in....
oh nevermind.
Peter- You wouldn't even have a wife if she wasn't on Ecstasy that day she took pity on you down at the Humane Society
There is nothing worse than getting wasted and getting married. I hate that.
Pam- There's worse believe me. But I won't get into my hobbies here.
mark,
I worked nights years ago and lived on Gravol to put me to sleep. It works, but in the end I had to go to OTC drug rehab.
And you can't even get methadone there anymore!!!!!!
K-Dough,
Just to jump back to the Junos..... You had me fooled. I didn't think you were that desperately in need of a life. Couldn't you have found a dwarf with a flat head to give you a blowjob?
You know what the flat head is for, eh?
That's where you put your beer so you don't spill it when you come!
Where ya bin Squid? Out to sea again were ya?
Pam,
not all mothers - 7 years of lifeguarding taught me what yummy mummy means.
However, there is a male body type that does approximate a woman who has given birth and not recovered. At least from the backside.
the strangest thing about these guys is they tend to the most arrogant SOBs on the planet.
they also work in computers and dominate blogland.
LOL chucker,good save. I'm not at all worried about my ass. I have a great ass and my husband would rather shoot himself in the foot than say otherwise.He wouldn't say anything that might influence my mood and/or body image.He is smart enough to know that those things are directly related to the sex that he may or may not get, depending on my mood and/or body image.
Joanne, wait your turn... I was first in line for Prince William.
K-dough, Pam and others who don't like Prince William, you must all be on crack. Seriously. He may well be the best looking man alive. If not, he's damn close. Pam, are you sure you're straight?
K-dough, yes your wife does have a great ass. She's gorgeous, in fact.
Peter, the GG is married and so are you, to your gorgeous wife.
mark something, you work the midnight shift, eh? Hmmm, weren't you on the Remington's stage following K-dough the other night?
Joanne, stay away from Prince William, I tell ya.
And finally, I don't mind a guy who looks like his mommy if his mommy passed on her drop-dead gorgeous looks to him. And I don't mind a guy who's gorgeous and whose dad will pass on a crown and a huge fortune either.
Pam,
I bet you have the best ass and are the best looking MILF on this board!
By the way, Peter, you STILL haven't answered my question: who the hell are Jennifer Valentyne and Kathryn Humphries?
Sorry, Pam, but the rules are that guys slip out to go "fishing" with their male buddies. Didn't you see Brokeback Mountain? Going fishing with female buddies just doesn't compute.
Homo, William is not into Homos so too bad that even if you where standing toe to toe with william he wouldn't give you the time of the day.
damn, late to the party.
To note: Malamutes have brown eyes, it is Huskies that have that freaky blue.
Plus: Whatever Pam said
Yeah ok Candace- like I didn;'t know that! (read: I didn't know that.
Speaking of asses, how about that Jim Flaherty?
Homo- and so what if I strip part-time at gay clubs? It's not like I sleep with men for money. It's not like I even passively let them blow me for money.
Well, I wouldn't call it real money anyway. They always low-ball me (excuse the bun pun) because of my stretch marks!
homo, yes I saw Brokeback. But that scenario works both ways. Gay or straight, men are sneaking off to go bowling/fishing/whatever to play a round with the other team. And that's a fact, jack.
(My husband does not do this. He really IS fishing for three weeks with that hot guy. Isn't he??)
Pam- He's fishing alright- and he is using Jack Daniels and isolation from society as his bait!
Joanne: "Homo, William is not into Homos so too bad that even if you where standing toe to toe with william he wouldn't give you the time of the day."
joanne, not to be crude, but what makes you think that if I were that close to Wills, I'd be on my toes?
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