Thursday, April 06, 2006

Funeral Service With a Smile

This friendly fire thing really illustrates why we shouldn't have guns in the military. The proliferation of guns in the military has become a serious problem, and has been proven by science to cause death in amiable soldiers. Why are we standing idly by and letting cordial warriors die when all we have to do is take away their guns? Did you know that, today, there are more guns in the Canadian military than on Toronto's streets?

Dying by
friendly fire. Is that anything like contracting a wonderfully delightful case of gonorrhea? Is it ok to shoot and kill someone if you invite them out for tea and cucumber sandwiches first, and then, while smiling politely, stick a hot smoking barrel in their mouth and spray their fucking brains all over the tea room? No. Not only is it deceitful, but it's a flagrant display of bad manners.

Stupid kills as stupid does people. For the love of god: Take the guns away from soldiers, and give them back to young children, just like Charlton Heston would do if he hadn't been fatally shot by his pet Chihuahua Atilla. Of course, it was an honest accident.

32 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stepping back for a minute, I don't want anyone to visit this blog and think we're making light of the horrible situation in which our Canadian solider might've been killed by friendly fire. If it is true, it is terrible.

Moving quickly on...

Mark is quite correct, tea after semi-automatic gun play is quite soothing. I enjoy honey with my AK.

Whatever happened to the armies of days past when we carried swords and had the odd gentlemanly duel? Nowadays it's more about killing, killing, killing. Where are the days of maiming and infectuous wounds from dull sabres? Apparently, the armies of today would rather just kill people with guns. That's just not cricket.

8:52 AM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger Harding said...

Hilarious, mate.

But, adding to Peter's comments, I wouldn't want anyone visiting this blog to think that we've actually intelligent things to say. There are far too many smart things getting posted on the blogisphere and we must do our part to get the balance right. Otherwise... the world would just be chaos.

8:56 AM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

I'm with you Harding. I think war- time death is fucking stupid no matter how you slice it (or shoot, beat, bomb or crush it). I feel bad for the family, but oppose the conditions that lead to the death- i.e. being there in the first place.

That said- I like Peter's point about swords etc. But I would extend that to hand to hand combat. That is a real man's fight. I'd take on any fucking gangbanger in a no shirt fist to fist punch out fest. Any day. Any fucking time.

9:30 AM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Mark something- in keeping with the Phil Collins theme from the other day- I'd rather live in the land of confusion.

Wait...I already do!

9:32 AM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Nice twist MS! I have a patent pending for making bullets out of compressed battered chicken. They are bio-degradable, non-lethal and a tasty treat if you are stuck in the wilderness with only your gun and ammo.

Of course, once stupor model Pamela Anderson gets wind of my scheme, it'll be all over the PETA-controlled press (i.e. tabloids and glossies).

9:49 AM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harding, I recall sitting one night in a Duke surrounded by tables of university professors. They were representing the intelligent side of the universe and our table had to make up for it and turned into drooling, laughing drunk sots.
It was priceless!

9:58 AM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pretty quiet in here today. K, you busy praying for your Habs? I bet they'll get a spanking tonight by the Senators.
Can't win 'em all. Second place is nothing to sneeze at.

1:09 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. K has left the building. Something about being sick of his pathetic Habs franchaise... or just sick.

Either way, I'm in charge now.

Now let's discuss Stronach's decision to step out of the leadership race.

(guns are so passee).

1:31 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Late to the party..
The term "friendly fire" is a bizarre one, huh?
K-Dough...love your challenge to take on a gangbanger in hand to hand combat. Once I was at an outdoor film shoot somewhere; one of the crew guys got into a verbal duel with a bunch of banger types in a passing vehicle. The fairly strappin' dude (who had some temper issues) said "fuck you, there's three of you and one of me...if you all come out one at a time, no problem." One of the guys came out complete with baggy-assed pants, foot-dragging waddle, the works. Everyone was pretty tense fearing the appearance of a gun or something, but the crew guy just sucker-punched him and he went down like a sack of potatoes. It was something to see.

1:35 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Firstly, Pam- I think it was quiet because blogger was down. Some kind of tech problem.

Secondly, Pam: The Habs are hot lately baby. They may actually give your boys a run tonight!

Thirdly- Stronach wimps out. Good. We have enough stuffed shirt no-substance idiots making decisions already in this country. The sooner princess is back in the private sector the better.

1:37 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course, there's a good chance that the bangers drove by later and shot him along with a dozen by-standers, but the story wouldn't be as fun....

1:50 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, glad Belinda is gone, for now at least.

K-dough, I agree with you on the guns, but I'm not sure the fist-to-fist fighting would work for me. I'm a little on the smaller side..I think I'll keep my Mace, thanks.

The Sens haven't been playing their best game lately. There are just too many injured players. I am going to do my part and volunteer to nurse Martin Havlat back to health. I'll take one for the team!

1:58 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Pam: How noble of you!
I for one am betting on a crushing defeat of the Whenators, and another thrilling victory for my beloved glorieux!

3:31 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a little worried. Are you happy???
If they blow it in the first round again I am going to LOSE WHAT IS LEFT OF MY MIND.

3:57 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mark, you are wanting 'no torontos' but sorry to disappoint you that anything can happen but toronto will never disappear.

Pam,I hope the senators win tonight. When it comes to Habs and Sens, I support sens because Habs need a shot of dis-arrogance.

4:39 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mark, you are wanting 'no torontos' but sorry to disappoint you that anything can happen but toronto will never disappear.

Pam,I hope the senators win tonight. When it comes to Habs and Sens, I support sens because Habs need a shot of dis-arrogance.

4:39 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry for the double post.

5:04 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anybody here???
Awwww, I feel so lonely up here. I can even hear the wind and the wood creaking here K-Dough. I am scared. Is this a scary movie or what.

5:16 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Pam- I think the entire hockey world would be absolutely shocked if the Sens didn't have a very strong post-season. They have had an awesome team for years now- it's only a matter of time. And you won't have those has-been Loafs to spoil it for you this year.

Boo Loafs. Go Habs!

5:19 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Joanne- don't worry. Squid has gotta be here some where- he'll hold you!

5:20 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Joanne- don't worry. Squid has gotta be here some where- he'll hold you!"
K-Dough, are you plannig to give me nightmares by suggesting that??? Yikes. I rather have william hold me then squidward.

Pam, isn't it nice that leafs eliminated sens from playoffs every year but now the sens get to eliminate blasphemy Habs in the playoffs.

5:38 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Joanne- your comment was habsolutely unbelievable- in so many ways.

7:35 PM, April 06, 2006  
Blogger Tarkwell Robotico said...

K-Dough's right.


Unbelievable comments there Joanne.

No team wants to start the playoffs against the Habs. None.

9:05 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

K-Dough,
Do you think Joanne is for real? Nah! I think she is a combination of twelve year old idiots who stumbled on to the internet playground and are up Waaaaay past their bedtime.

9:12 PM, April 06, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

K-Dough and chuckers, the last time I remember, the tampa bay threw your habs out of the playoffs in 03-04 and went on to win the cup. don't know about your arrogance but hab's chances of winning the cup are null because of all the other amazing teams out there. My guess is you will be eliminated on the first round of playoffs.
Squidward, I am thinking you are a baby squid and you have been grounded the past few dayz because I haven't seen you idiotic comments anywhere on the blogsphere the past few dayz.

12:00 AM, April 07, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had this bad dream that the Senators got their asses kicked last night...and K-dough was in it, laughing at me..It was terrible!

6:18 AM, April 07, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Pam- I'm curious: What did I look like?

6:23 AM, April 07, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You looked a little like the Chicken Lady from the Kids in the Hall.

6:34 AM, April 07, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

from TSN online:

The Canadiens won their eighth-straight contest, 5-3 over the Senators, moving into a tie for sixth in the East with New Jersey and three points ahead of Tampa Bay.

The Leafs, onve again, sucked giant unkempt sasquatch ass last night.

6:55 AM, April 07, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

oh and look- Anonymous just found Playboy! I found all My Dad's Playboys when I was around 6.

6:58 AM, April 07, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Not to mention I have gladiator-like calves."

LOL, why don't you trying wearing them for a change, instead of the scrawny ones I always see you with?

8:57 AM, April 07, 2006  
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