10 Point Kwestion
Diamonds are for pussies with no creativity, who have to pay for sex.
Leather is forever.
Discuss. (5 boner points for thinking outside of the box)
Leather is forever.
Discuss. (5 boner points for thinking outside of the box)
Labels: Consumerist Bulllshit, Girls, Philosophy, Sex
posted by K-Dough at 10:11 AM
25 Comments:
(5 boner points for thinking outside of the box)
Something you never seem to do. :)
Hey- not fair. I am a huge fan of oral sex and other expicit delights as well. Why just the other day I had sex with my couch. It was drunk. Or I was. Ok, I dunno.
I told every women I ever dated that the only value a diamond had was on the end of a drill and they should never expect to get one from me. Having a roof over my head, a fridge full of food, a cooler full of beer and savings was more important than sparkely rocks.
One finally bit and after 15 years still no diamond. Diamonds are up there with 5000 sq ft homes, $100,000 cars and gambling as entertainment, "JUST FUCKIN STUPID"
right on my green brutha!
speak the word!
Here's a twist. My new bbw bride...the sweetest woman I've ever met (and I still say this after three years!) is the first woman who told me she didn't want a diamond. And the first one to get one.
Personally, I could give a shit about diamonds and would prefer leather any day of the week (leather as a blogger or jacket..) I think the majority of women that want diamonds want the commitment, not the diamond itself.It's what the diamond represents.
Seriously, leather? She's the first to get one? And what do you think of keeping the diamond after the break-up? Who gets the rock?
Who gets the rock? I don't know but I know damn well who gets the barbed, dry shaft. But I digress...
Why are diamonds a symbol of commitment anyway? Diamonds are carbon, like us. But they pretty mch last forever. We don't. Neither does romantic love or human decency, most of the time.
So to aspire to the qualities of a diamond, we are merely setting ourselves up for failure- the impossible.
BTW- Leather- now I know why I haven't heard from you much recently- too busy slaving to pay off the rock!!!
Chip away lad. Chip away.
OK, I'll air out some more personal shit. Marriage #1...we were kids and didn't have a pot to piss in. I became a rock star (briefly) and she bought a ring while I was touring in Europe. She also banged a guy while I was over there. Marriage ended. She got the condo.
Second marriage (this one still hurts) we bought a house instead of a ring. Five years later she started changing her mind; after endless whining, she bought one out of the joint account (so I guess we both bought it.)
After twelve years and two kids, we split. Despite giving her everything she wanted (including paying off her student loans, and all the other debts she had incurred before we met) she decided to get a lawyer and screw me out of pretty much everything I had built up. She got the house; I got an almost empty RSP.
Two years ago, she tried to reach out to me to improve our relationship for the sake of the kids. I said "here's a start...restore my RSP to what it was before, and (I shit you not) give me that fucking ring back...then we'll talk." I'm still waiting for the RSP money (I'll never get it...she doesn't have it anymore) but that stupid ring is in my desk drawer. I can't even look at it. I'm thinking of giving it to my daughter when she gets older. I dunno.
Oh, and Pammie...my woman gets leather too...in copious amounts.
She didn't want a ring, and I got her one. She hates clothes shopping, I love buying clothes for her...she brought out the gay fashion designer in me.
She's a guy with a woman's body. She even has a history of relationships with women who financially screwed her, so we can commiserate over "those bitches". She's perfect.
She is perfect. Say hey to her for me dude...
Geezus- don't think I knew about Wife #1.
Ouch- even the word WIFE is like a belt sander to the nuts to me these days. Any time I hear it I get the 'Nam Twitch. Ya know?
I hate to admit that I have a ring story, but when I was very, very young I was given a ring (actually it was thrown at me, in a heated fight). I refused to accept "that" ring, made him return it and buy another ring. Not one of my finer moments.
I have a friend who has been married 3 times (currently single) and has at least 5 engagement rings in her drawer. I've always thought it was a shitty thing to keep those rings.
K-Dough, you're a sweetie for saying that.
That feeling you have never really goes away; it just becomes part of your make-up.
You know you're with the right person when you become totally yourself. The things I'm doing now...starting my own business, jumping head first back into the music biz again..I NEVER would have considered during my last marriage. (Let alone dying my hair black and growing it past my shoulder blades.)
She knows every horrible ugly thing about me...things I never shared with the last one. It is so truly liberating.
Pammie, we all have those moments.
Every now and then, some memory like that will pop into my head for the first time in years, and I melt in my chair.
That's why we have alcohol...
Pam- if you don't have things you weren't proud of you wouldn't be human- or you'd be the most boring dweeb on the planet.
Your friend is not so bad off- she's got all those rings as mementos and I still hang onto all the XXX Polaroids of chicks I banged in the 80s and 90s-and now I'm finally adding to collection again!!! One day, I'll need a curator.
But as you have said in the past- I'm not such a bad guy, right?
Leather- I love it when men call each other sweetie and don't suck each other off. It's refreshing.
Thanks, sweetie.
You're not a bad guy at all. Any chick who's stupid or drunk enough to have polaroids taken deserves to have them splashed all over the net.
I guess her rings are like your collection of fat chick pictures, but I just think of the poor guys who spent a month's salary on them.
On the other hand, I would never give back my rings. Do you have any idea how much head I had to give to get them in the first place?
What? K-Man is into fat chicks? I have competition? YOU HAVE PICTURES???
Diamonds are traditionally for the 60th wedding anniversary. And if you can maintain a relationship for that long you deserve one.
Leather is traditionally for the third year and if memory serves you probably need a little extra at that point to keep things interesting.
A favorite erotic moment was girlfriend riding up to me dressed only in leather chaps. She jumped down from that big fella right onto another one.
Pam/Leather- re: fat chicks. Nope. Never have, never will. Not in my repetoire kids. Gives me an innie.
And Pam the "do you know how much head I had to give to get the rings" argument rings hollow, when
the mere act of giving the ring might as well be the trumpet of god parting the clouds, announcing the end of head forever.
Monsieur Newton: Since leather is the year three gift, all marriages should end in leather!
Well, I dunno Mr. Dough, but my husband bought me a leather jacket for Christmas last year. Does that mean leather is forever or he's not getting enough head?
It's the Diamond Fellatio Conspiracy.
My first diamond ring has a big old dent in it when I threw it at the lying sack of shit who somehow conveniently forgot to tell me about his arranged marriage 3+ years into the relationship. I hucked it at him and almost wet myself with sheer joy watching him crawl on his hands and knees around the parking lot looking for it for the next 1/2 hour.
1/2 and hour? wow- you're a super hero:
the Patient Avenger!!!
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