Puffing Out the War Chest
I really can't believe the bad taste these Tories are displaying by dropping in on the war in Afghanistan- unnanounced. It's downright rude. Poor Afghanis have no time to clean up, let alone pile the corpses in the closet and under the bed. The latest bonehead to show up is Peter Mackay. Sending that thin-lipped pasty white altar boy into a war is like sending Beaver Clever into a biker club on a Saturday Night dressed in an assless Big Bird suit. He couldn't even handle Hurricane Belinda: But a rocket-propelled Talibashing? No problem for Mr. Crawl Back in Tears to My Parents' Farm-boy. So what next? Oh, I know. Next week, Stockwell Day will be jet skiing across the Arabian Sea, in an armoured Speedo, while frantic underpaid CBC camera men chase him in a rusty Chinook. He'd be sure to have his Crest white strips on the night before that one.
Labels: Foreign Affairs, Harpocrites, War
posted by K-Dough at 7:25 AM
61 Comments:
So what are you saying?
And wasn't it dignified the way MacKay practically wet himself when he met Condoleeza Rice?
Boy, Harper sure knows how to pick Cabinet ministers. I supposed he licked her boots as well before the press conference.
Well, you know what they say- you can pick your nose, but you're hamstrung when it comes to picking a cabinet due to the demands of regional representation and political cronyism.
I would swoon if I met Condi. She's the dreamiest. Have you heard her play Rachmaninoff? Very, very sexy.
CC- yuck!!! Condoleeza Rice has the head of an over-baked, dehydrated Chihuahua with a skin condition who is badly in need of some doggie orthodontistry.
Yuck again to you sir.
good. when K-Dough and I walk into a bar where Madeleine Albright and Condi are having a drink - there will be no confusion as to whom is going home with whom.
Actually, there's a state senator in Vermont who is smoking.
But, I think she once said something bad about terrorists - so, I guess that makes her an ugly rat-dog full of empty rhetoric.
CC: No danger of us walking in to the same establishment as those two. I don't frequent Christian quilting clubs, retirement home pasta dinner nights or kennels, for that matter.
By the way- I'd bang Hillary Clinton- if only just to experience the icy grip that drove Billy to fat chicks.
me thinks Hillary is more interested in getting Cheney's daughter onto her campaign bus, if you know what I mean...
but, I'm not sure why you would skip out on retirement home pasta dinner nights. those parties can rock. the pasta is well-priced and never too spicy. the ladies are fawning and the men are no competition. you get the pick of the litter.
CC: you said: "the ladies are fawning and the men are no competition. you get the pick of the litter."
Reminds me of living in Japan. Ahhhhh, the good ole days. The same could probably be said for a CPC Convention. Now I know why you support those jackasses!
Mark something- have you been consulting with Jo-Jo the psychic again?
I have no idea what a political convention is like. I walked into a meeting once - to force the PCs and Alliance to merge.
It was the saddest day of my life (including the day I spent in a pig slaughterhouse).
You may imagine a gaggle of geeks. But your imagination - even as fine and infinite as K-Dough's - cannot comprehend how devoid of a social life so many of these people are.
"Why have you forsaken me, Lord?" I screamed in the church basement and dashed back home to me wife and whiskey.
When I met Condi, I wet my pants, and it wasn't urine either, but it sure as Hell was a shower.And that was just from a hand shake!Man, I had a woody for a week. Kinda like what K-Dough gets when he's on about the Tories!
jdog:
Let it be known that I certainly do not subscribe to the "K-Dough-Rules" self-help group.
Quite the opposite actually. I'll go out of my way to ensure that we remain completely different.
I prefer women, beer, Bob Marley and Oasis. He's a little different.
Every now and then I fool myself into believing I'm a mature, relationship hardened wise man in complete control of my ability to focus on any given task, and fully grasp the importance thereof.
Then I experience a morning like, well, today for example, haplessly witnessing glorious women of all shapes and sizes who deem it necessary to show off more and more cleavage.
I don't know what the fuck I was supposed to do today. I am weak. I am man.
Oh yeah, wonderful post K. I've never heard Peter Mackay so accurately skewered. (I'm still bracing myself for a posting saying he's "hot".)
leather,
if you are wondering why everyone is showing their breasts this years it's because all the clothing this spring is really, really low cut.I've never in my life worn clothes cut as low as I have this year.
Squid- That wasn't Condoleeza you met. That was your parole office Boris and you were reallllllllllly drunk!
leather- I sympathize. You must've been downtown though- don't all the chicks up in your hood wear coveralls and hip waders?
And speaking of downtown- I'm still waiting for the mysterious blogger/commenter unmasking beer ceremony you promised way back when...
J-Dog: thnx for the kudos dude!
Peter: blow me hard monkey boy!
Pam: The culture of teen skank is finally filtering up into more mature fashion and I'm lovin' it.
All a girl needed when I was a kid was a skin tight pink CHUM t-shirt and a pair of angel wings with a Stones lips patch sewn on the ass.
MMMMMMMMMMM
Even back in the day I didn't show as much boob as I am right now..Men are talking to my breasts...I swear to God. It's hilarious...HELLOOOOO???? I'm up here!!
Pam: Well, as they said in the old days: Those aren't men you are talking to. They are life-support systems for dicks.
Having a better day today?
sorry, pam, were you saying something?
I met Condi once. Had to bite off my own leg to escape.
Uh...carry on.
It's been a long week but I'm in a much better mood. How could I possibly stay cranky reading your blog, K?? Now, if you could just get those Senators back on track I'd be really happy...
chucker, I'm up here..helloooo
oh, yeah. Pam - I didn't notice, you have a lovely smile. Winning eyes. and then, uhhh, then, uhh, sorry, great hair, uhhh, "must lift head" - oh shit, did I type that?
K-Dough,
Ah, that Boris, ya oughta see him in a low cut boobie holder! AND, that wonderful tan he has ......
K-Dough why is it that you post about politics but your comments section is full of things about women's breasts, their clothing style and Rice.
I think that is why you don't see home up here. May be he wants to hear some talk about guyz.
well, homo if you are reading this then I must tell you that today I saw a cowboy at Downsview station and he was sitting in front of me all the way to st.george and the whole way I was staring at him but trying to show that I am ot actually staring. Then I thought about K-Dough's blog, and I thought that maybe Pam will like him too and then you came into my mind and I thought you might also want a piece of him.
oh god that is supposed to be homo not home. And also it is supposed to be "not actually staring"
As a full time cowboy, may I say on behalf of all cowboys, that we are not attracted to buck-toothed, cross-eyed heifers ...
Freddy,
The new amour du jour on the prairies is the llama. They are the right height for us old guys with back problems. No bending!
joanne,
Ya, I'm sure I would have had a peek at him. Did he have assless chaps on, a la K-dough??
Once I was in line at the bank with my son and there was a man in line with cowboy boots, a big cowboy hat and the works. I saw my son checking him out and I thought "oh, please God. NO." He said in a booming voice "Mommy, is that man a REAL cowboy??"
I had a cowboy walking around our offices. 6'-5", boots and hat, belt buckle decorated with guns. nodded his head and smiled at everyone. said, "sorry, I ate something that isn't agreeing with me - I can't sit down."
Turns out he was from Los Angeles.
Pam,
The number one kids comment I hear is "Mommy, is that a boy or a girl?". Gotta love it...mid forties and they're still guessing.
K-Dough,
The beer is coming dude! Looks like next week, if you can spare the time. I'll e-mail your psycho barrier account when it gets closer.
Oh Yeah K, I was in Burlington this morning. Yup, Burlington: the new home of the frikkin' d-cup. (Then again, I've gone without for a while, so even the curves on my desk are giving me a sack-tingle, but I digress...)
You are getting together for beers? That's so unfair that I wasn't invited...
Pam,
You are welcome any time! Bring the hubby if you have to, we'll find something for him to do...
He's actually in Toronto right now and he's been very busy lately so he's in the dog house.
I'd love have a beer with you sometime. Next time I'm in the Toronto area we can hook up (but don't tell K-dough, I don't want to chance him stalking me again)(But he can come if he wears his assless chaps and picks up the bill).
Pam, I know you're just using me to get to K-Dough...but that's fine. I've accepted it. I would still die for you...
K-Dough,
Your site is an affirmation of the Gospel According To Squid: Life is all about booze and pussy!
I love it!
Old Squid
Master of Tranquility!
That's not true, leather. You are everything I've ever wanted in a man AND a woman. Plus, I've always checked out the drummer in the band first. Always.
My review of your commentary during my absence:
Twisted. Enigmatic. I peed my pants- not from joy, but rather from fear. Fear of the unknown person I know. Fear of poetic licence. Fear of god and his winged-monkey minions with barbed penises. Fear of contracting salmonella from my own spit.
Highlight: Sack-tingle!
And money Squido... don't forget money. You can't have the other two without money.
So the formula reads:
Money = Beer + Pussy
Pussy = Beer/money
Beer = money - women
So then the money you spend on beer for the girl can have a direct corellaion to the amount of pussy you will receive.
Until the morning... then you'd better know how to listen... Unless you have A LOT of money, or you rocked her world in a way no man before you has.
Course if you have too much beer, no woman.
Too much beer is never a bad thing.
Joe,
Good thinking, bud!
Of course if you have LOTS of money you can have more than one pussy. Have you ever noticed that women look at your ass before they look at your crotch?
That's because that's where guys traditionally carry their wallets , and women are more concerned about the size of your wallet than the size of your pecker.
Don't believe me?
Ever see a poor but well hung dude with a hot chick?
Never!
Hey Squid, that means that Money=Satisfaction=the way women see your dick.
So if you have a lot of money, and a tiny dick, it doesn't matter, because the womens perception of your dick is directly in relation to the size of your wallet.
Joe,
I'd love to see some woman try to refute your logic. Methinks it would make interesting reading.
"CAUSE YOU ARE RIGHT, DUDE!
I have my own money, can buy my own beer and have....well, all of my parts. So you are all wrong.
Pam, Darlin', and how we all love your parts.....
Chucker: "I would swoon if I met Condi." Yeah, wasn't it sexy how she went shopping at Ferragamo's while New Orleanians were fighting for survival during Hurricane Katrina. She's got all the charm and pizzazz of an Emperor Nero in a more feminine, not to mention tasteful, package.
Boy, I'd sure swoon if I met her! Then again, maybe that would be because I was doubled over being sick to my stomach meeting such a horrible excuse for a human being.
Totally agree homosuperior. I mean, Jimmy Choo is far more appropriate for the busy executive during times of apocalypse.
Joanne, I know just who you mean. He is really hot. I already had a piece of him. Sorry.
And as a woman, on behalf of all women, I must tell you squidward that no one is interested in a 90 something toothless cow who is all wrinkled up.
homo, good for you.
*pssst* Pam!
The latest low-cuts are (according to my 12-yr-old) intended to be worn with a tank top or similar underneath. /psst
Sorry guys, I had to tell her.
Wow, Candace. Thanks for the heads up! It's not often that I get fashion tips from tweens. Any cool new lip gloss she can tell me about???
Pam - be happy you don't often get fashion tips from tweens. Be very happy. You wouldn't like the others, I'm betting. She thinks green lip gloss is cool, and appropriate for the office.
Very pretty design! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
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