Bella Rona!
Gomery is gone, but these days there is a much better excuse to watch Question Period. As you may or may not know, political parties are keenly aware of who ends up in a camera shot when their questions and answers are televised. I can assure you, it is no coincidence that Rona Ambrose is in every single cam shot of Stephen Harper. She brings up his visual value by about 5 billion per cent. Next to Harper - that stiff, stuffed Pauncharello - she is always sleek, sexy and sophisticated.I am no fan of the CPC, but I'll tell ya one thing: Rona gives me a bona!
Photo: Little Jason Kenney tries to stifle the swelling anxiety in his god-fearing pants, as he akwardly pretends he is not looking at the prettiest, dreamiest girl in class.
Labels: Girls, Harpocrites, Sex
posted by K-Dough at 12:22 PM
70 Comments:
What is it about conservatives (small and big "c") that makes them so frickin' hot? Is it their repressed sexuality? Their impecable eye for fashion detail? Their perfectly coiffed little brush cuts? (well, the men anyway). Their forceful, dominating exteriors - unable to show emotion?
Well, I'm not sure, but I still think Jason Kenney is hotter than Rona, in a baby bear (http://www.genxbears.org/) kind of way.
One day, I'm going to set up a web site in praise of hot, neo-con, homophobic politicians, where gay guys everyone can post pictures of their favourite homophobe and... swoon. What better way to undermine their confidence? ;)
diku:
Why must you always reduce everything to a physical/appearance level? Why can't you just judge these homophobic people on their merit and personalities? Why must it always be about the size of their small or big 'c'?
Personally, when I think of leading attractive politicans (e.g., Pupatello) I... errr... I... ummm... hmmm... yummy yummy!!
Jesus H. Christ! I think you've all lost your freaking minds. I thought it was bad enough the K-dough thinks Rona Ambrose is hot. But, et tu Diku?
Jason Kenney? He makes my fucking skin crawl. I wouldn't sleep with him if my life depended on it.
And sorry, but just because Rona's the best looking woman left in the CPC now that Belinda's gone (I mean, she doesn't have much competition now, does she? Elsie Wayne, anyone?), hardly makes her hot.
Angelina Jolie is hot. Penelope Cruz is hot. K-dough's wife is hot. Rona Ambrose is tepid at best.
And Jason Kenney is stone-cold and heartless. If you want to see a good-looking Conservative MP, check out Dave Batters, MP for Palliser (Sask.). He's kind of hot (though he looks markedly better in his pic on the CPC website that on his own website for some weird reason), shame about his right-wing redneck politics.
Pussy cats is the cwaziest peoples!
Peter- love the big or snall c thing.
Diku- I love your web site idea. I'm sure it would be big entertainment- and not just among the gay community!
Wow homo, you've really thought long-and-hard about who is attractive and who you would/wouldn't sleep with.
Now if you could only put that much attention into your choice of scotch and hockey teams.
Homo- While I agree that Belinda and others are merely 'hot by proxy', I think Ambrose still has porn star quality.
Mind you, that has to be taken in the context of the current democratization of porn, caused by the endless supply of hard core available online.
The internet has done for porn what Nirvana did for rock music: Made it dirtier, easier for anyone to actually perform, and popularized mediocrity.
As they say in Japan: I know, it's only lock and loll but I rike it.
My hockey team is kicking ass. My taste in Scotch is phenomenal.
You're hockey team is playing golf as we speak. You're idea of Scotch is not even Scotch, it's Irish sewage water.
You know who is hot for a politician (besides Gerard Kennedy -- you all know I think he's hot already). Andre Boisclair, leader of the PQ. Now he's hot! (And gay, too bad he's a separatist and a former coke-user.)
Homo- you hae also said on the past that Ashley MacIsaac, Patrick Rafter, Keith Partridge, Tony Clement, Lemmy Kilmeister and theat janitor at your pubilc school in Saskatchewan are cute and you'd sleep with them. Your tastes are a little eclectic.
No, I never said any of these people were hot: Patrick Rafter, Keith Partridge, Tony Clement, Lemmy Kilmeister.
I don't even know who any of them are except for Tony Clement, and he is not hot.
Although, unlike diku, I'd rather have to sleep with him than Jason Kenney if I had to make that choice at the barrel of a gun.
Oh, I also never said that the janitor at my old school in Saskatchewan was hot. I most definitely never said that! My Christian Ethics teacher on the other hand... (it was a Catholic high school).
The only thing hot about any of the above named politicians is the repressed sexuality. It's the same attraction as blushing, stammering men. I usually have the urge to flash those men.(I can control this most of the time).
Don't forget that it's likely that the repressed boys and girls would speak at some point and ruin the whole fantasy.
I'm an evil Conservative and I don't think she's hot. Sure, compared to Deb Grey she's Miss Lethbridge.
But just because someone is in Parliament and isn't the size of a bus, sporting a snazzy mounstache... it doesn't make her babe-alicious.
Same with Stronach. She's about a 5 on the Molson Scale... and a 6.5 if you count the money.... throw in a brutal bleach job and the personality of a viper... and she comes in around a 3.
But because she's in Parliament, she's "smokin'"??? No.
Sure, I'd take her over Myron Thompson, but would you actually pick her up in a bar?
Men are told who to covet... by women (and K-Dough). Most of us just don't know it, though.
That's why you have ugly / plain leading ladies in movies and TV. They're safe.
Your wife will go with you to a movie starring Julia Roberts or Rene Zellwegger.
The fact is that they both look like ducks pumped full of botox.
Same for that poor thing on Grey's Anatomy that our wives all make us watch. She's like a stick with lips. Which reminds me of that pencil from Ally McBeal, who should be down to about 4 pounds by now. Way to go Harrison!!
Anyway, they don't put hot chicks in movies and on TV because those of us who are paired up would be treated like perverts for ever suggesting we watch one.
Try it. 'Hey honey, I hear the latest Lara Croft movie has an excellent storyline...." Those movies succeed at the box office because no one's busting a the balls of a single teen for doing so.
Back to the point, Rona is pleasant looking and I thought she was a great sport on Mercer's show a few weeks back. But "hot"? Not so much.
Ok gwgm- Let's get to the core of the male experience here:
I'd bang her. Would you?
Pam- Re: the flashing thing. do you only flash geeks? What about guys who pretend to blush and stammer?
I pretend to flash them.
Touche! How can you tell if they are feigning though?
In case you are wondering why I ask- I'm doing a sociological study on the phenomena and need to collect more data.
Oh she's hot.
And Diku is exactly right - once I embraced the flat tax, I became irresitible to women. They looked at me and said, "he'd stick it to those welfare bums".
True, I was less successful with the twig-eating 100 lbs girls that swarm NDP conventions, but who cares.
CC- so you are like the Fonzie of tax reform?
I just stand a little too close and see if they start to get flushed and breathe a little heavy.
gwgm: I watch Grey's Anatomy, does that make me less a man? Then again, my wife... err.. husband is the driving force behind it, so perhaps he's less a man.
homo: So I checked out Watters and while he's got the geek chic thing going on, he's not quite for me.
pam: If I stutter and blush, will you flash me? Just ask k-dough's wife, I'd appreciate it more than him!
Pam- evil temptress!
Helena Guergis? Thoughts?
I understand she's a major ice princess (she campaigned as a Tory in downtown Toronto once and could have given a pitbull a run for its money), but you have to admit, she's totally k-dough's type.
Diku: Shameless tart!
K,
mostly just really, really bored.
Diku (again)- You're dead on with the Helena comment. My attraction to her is amplified by the fact that "Helena" is one of my fave My Chemical Romance tunes!
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Helena.
K-Dough,
To be political about it.... I'll say... it depends.
Would I pick her about of a crowd at a bar in T.O.? No way.
But if we're alone on a desert island or if I'm single, horned up and stranded in Iqaluit for the winter... and she's got a full set of teeth going for her to distinguish her from the competition?
Sure.
Pam- yeah, but you have to work constantly to maintain the feminine mystique...
You can never let your guard down.
gwgm: don't knock the toothless thing dude.
Diku:
Maybe he/she is into McDreamy?
Hell, I watch it because I subject my wife to car races and politics, and it's nice to share.
I just give thanks that she agrees that Housewives has 'jumped the shark' and has crossed that off the 'must see' list.
Wow, I'm scared to dip my toe in this one lest it be sheared off. Rona gets my hot vote, but I've always been a "one pathetic unachievable crush at a time" man. I have to agree with Peter....the Goddess Sandra Pupatello has stolen my loins.
Belinda would have potential (I've seen her close up on more than one occasion) if there was anything vaguely resembling warmth in her persona, but using a variation of the K-dough test (If I was in a bar semi-buzzed, and she was all over me) I have to admit I'd be paying attention.
Oooooh- shameless crush promotion Fred- just shameless!
Hey Fred- you are in Ottawa- if you can get Rona to read and comment on this site, I'll get Mish to send you an autographed b&w 8x10.
I'm sure she would be oh-so-flattered to know that a few of you MIGHT throw one in her, if you were drunk enough and the bar was dark enough.
Good luck with that, k-dough.
Pam- Hey- I'm not looking for easy, fireside interactions. I'm looking for fire fuel. Public figures by the very nature of their "publicity" are targets for pimply faced crushes or drunken lust fantasy by both sexes.
Plus, it's all tongue in cheekb (or wherever else you chose to put it). Look what happened with Asher. When confronted with a real live human- the target of the satire- I think I was fairly fair? N'est ce pas?
Either way, I hereby appoint Pam as Social Conscience Editor At- Large for K-Dough's Canada, and will abide by her decree in the future.
Fred- Make sure you wear those assless leather chaps I gave you for X-Mas last year, and bait her with some Garth Brooks. I'm sure she'll swoon to some of that built-Ford-tough country pop crap...
You were fair with Assley.I don't think I would have been as fair. I was sitting on my typing hands a few days during the MacSaga.
GWGM: I prefer McSteamy, personally! We're both still holding out a torch for the Wives but alas, it just isn't the way it used to be.
And let's not get into conversations about being in bars whilst semi-buzzed, I do that too regularly and don't want that Irish trivia guy beating on k-dough again...
Diku
Check out Rick Mercer's blog for a URL that takes your idea. jasonkenney.org I think it is, displays a homosexual site.
saskboy- that's the best shit. really.
PAM- no comment on your appointment? I'm inslutted.
Know who's hot? The Actress who plays Katherine on CSI.... Marg Henne(something) Can never remember her last name. She's so hot you'd have to fireproof your dick before making love to her.In my case, I'd also fireproof my tounge.
I'm would never inslut you, k. I'm just speechless. A Senators victory and a blog promotion. What a week!
Squid- your tongue can reach your dick? Wow.
Pam- congrats on the Sens crushing victory.
Leaf fans- hope the cleaning out the basement project amidst abundant tears thing is going well for y'all.
K-Dough,
How else do you think I wore out the first five wives? Actually anyone doing Marg would be violating the Food and Drug Act but, I've never been very law abiding anyway.
Why, thank you! I have tickets for Saturday night's game, and it will be the last before we meet the Habs.I think we'll only go to 5 games.
Squid- ha. I lost part of my tongue in a horrible Gene Simmons emulating incident in 1978, during the fury of the Love Gun tour.
While extremely intoxicated and dressed as Simmons, I climbed into an exhibit and attempted to French kiss a komodo dragon at a local reptile park. I ended up blacking out and being violated by the beast in front of several school children....
Pam- the habsolute only thing I would not like about a Habs-Sens confrontation would be the fact that it would eliminate one Canadian team too early.
I used to think Rona was really quite fetching, but...is it just me, or has her hair gotten a little bigger and more...Christian lately? That part down the middle is looking rather extreme and the whole effect is starting to scream "Prudence Goodwife" to me.
Anyway, rating the hotness of our politicians is always a bit of mug's game, considering what kennels our legislatures are. And I mean that in a nice way.
K-Dough,
Sounds like the same way I learned about the birds and the bees. I bet the kids had fun!
ti-guy: But the stereotype you just described has its own, special fetish allure - at least to me. It's kind of like a university grad cow girl gone June Clever thang, no?
But the stereotype you just described has its own, special fetish allure...
If the fetish you're thinking of is of the Oedipal variety, that is.
...and in that case...Ew!
ti-guy- look if your Mom looks Rona, I'd like to be introduced.
No shame. No guts. No glory.
and there's something very naughty about "Christian" hairdos.
It makes me think, hey if I bag Rona, maybe she'll let me marry her sisters at the same time. yummy.
oh, and there would be much productive policy discussion at dinner, of course.
Thank you dearly Squid, for my latest entry into my "Old Squid Said" doc
K-Dough had a couple too. Ha! I was ready with my Depends this time.
It made me feel a little sick.
Pam,
Sorry, honey, but you should see the spatter pattern when it's fired from a distance of only two feet. It's positively exhilerating to a forensic scientist!
Old Squid was correct in pointing out my inelegant use of language so ably. Maybe I was thinking of her hair looking not so much Christian, as relgious or pious, in an iconographic kind of way...sort of like the hair we imagine lurks under the veil of the Blessed Virgin in Michelangelo's Pietà ...well, you know what I mean.
You know, when you think about it like that, that is fuckin' hot.
Duhhhh, Squid. That's why they call her a virgin man. Well, that's what my Sunday School teacher used to tell me anyways. Well, I think he said that- I was usually pretty drunk, from drinking the jesus juice he always had in his magic flask.
We are treading on dangerous soil her kids- sex, fetish, religion all in one mouthful- yikes.
OK- I have to go get tattooed now for at least 4-5 hours. Hate the pain but always love the results!
Pls keep it clean for awhile will ya?
Pammie- you'll babysit the kids while I'm gone won't ya? Promise?
By the way- the whole religion/sex/fetish thing just brought to mind an awesome book by Japanese writer Yukio Mishima called Confessions of a Mask (Kamen no Kokuhaku) where the main character obsessively fantasizes about the pierced armpit of Saint Sebastien in Guido Reni's painitng of the saint.
Mishima was a really fucked up, complex guy who committed ritual suicide in the early 70s.
Check it out if you ever have the urge!
K-Dough,
Be careful at the tattoo parlour, dude. Don't let them give you any booze.
The last time that happened to me, they tattooed my pecker with, "Bob's Bar and Grill, Saskatoon, Saskatchewan".
Couldn't piss for a week!
Yup, I'll watch the kids.If they don't behave, they'll get a spanking and go to bed!
The though of Pam giving me a spanking makes me want to get REALLY naughty.
Ti-Guy,
bring plenty of lube. Sure, it feels smooth at first rub, but trust me - from experience - its nasty once you get really into it.
Ti_Guy,
And bring a pooper-scooper,too, unless you like doing it standing in doggie-doo!
I can't leave you alone for an hour while I go to the gym!! The Blessed Virgin, lube, Rona's ass...what next? Wait til K-Dough gets back!!
Pam,
good point - how do I get rid of what I said?
I can't leave you alone for an hour while I go to the gym!!
Don't blame me. I was trying to tart up the place with some references to art 'n stuff.
"Helena Guergis? Thoughts"
How about this one: despite the fact she's my parents' MP (no, they didn't vote for her) this is a woman who one day was going to issue a news release condemning the David Emerson floor crossing incident, and the very same afternoon, after a phone call from her Harpie, was accepted to be made the Parliamentary Assistant to, none other than David Emerson!!! Wow! She's got principles that could choke a gnat!!!!!
Pam, I sure wouldn't throw it in Rona.
Okay, diku, what about Andre Boisclair? Would you screw him?
Oh, by the way, I think I saw Ashley McIsaac out on Church St. tonight. I'm not positive, but it sure looked like him.
I was going to send him your love K-dough, but then I thought I might get arrested.
K-dough: "I'm looking for fire fuel. Public figures by the very nature of their "publicity" are targets for pimply faced crushes or drunken lust fantasy by both sexes." -- You should've made your moves on Janet Ecker that night at the bar when you had your chance.
Squid: "Actually anyone doing Marg would be violating the Food and Drug Act but, I've never been very law abiding anyway." -- You were married to Marg Delahunty?
Chucker: "and there's something very naughty about "Christian" hairdos." -- Tell me about it... every time I see a couple of those hot freshly scrubbed Mormon guys, well... never mind what goes through my mind.
I'm back. In pain. Drunk. Everything is normal.
Homo- Janet Ecker? I haven't told you before but...I banged her that night!
Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't need to know that!!!!!!!!
That's ok- I didn't need to do that.
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