Top 10 Reasons I Should Be PM

One thing is for sure: I'd make that weak-livered pansy John A. look like a tea totaller. Vote K-Dough!

1. Canada-wide necktie ban in conjunction with amendment to the Charter of Rights and Freedoms stipulating the right of all workers- regardless of sex- to wear open-toed shoes and shorts to work.
2. Hefty tax rebates for hybrid vehicle and sex toy purchases.
3. Legalization of marijuana, polygamy, public nudity, public urination and public nuisance.
4. Would strong-arm CBC to fire Don Newman- replacing him with Mitsou Gelinas.
5. Phrase "Fuck you, you budgie-dicked mother fucker" woefully missing from current Question Period discourse.
6. Democratic reform: All difficult House of Commons debates will be settled shirtless in newly installed hot mud pit in the middle of the commons floor. My hope is that Belinda Stronach, Helena Guergis, Ruby Dhalla and Rona Ambrose will disagree often. My fear is that Garth Turner and Chuck Strahl will disagree often.
7. Increase arts subsidies to hardcore metal bands, CanCon porn sites and Suicide Girls Pillow Fight bouts.
8. New foreign policy framework called Fuck America.
9. Lower immigration barriers for blonde Scandinavian women and sign reciprocal citizenship agreement with the Turks and Caicos, where the government will set up National Nude Beach Volleyball Training Centre and Spa.
10. Free vote in the house on banning opposite sex marriage.