Leadership Loses Another Star Candidate
Today, to quell the growing speculation and rumour, I am officially announcing that I am dropping out of the Liberal leadership race. No, it's not a matter of scarce resources, bad poll numbers, internal rifts, my position on torture, health or family problems or the fact that my dick and balls are large enough that I now realize that I have nothing to prove.* It's because I sense a fad-nouveau emerging. Over the next couple of months, you just wait and see: Those hip red kids will be turning on, tuning in and dropping out- just like Mo and me! It will inspire a whole new generation of pimply-faced, disinterested, video game obsessed human yawns.
As I step aside and let lesser men (and woman) struggle in vain to win that coveted golden potato, I am putting all my support behind Juju, the dope-smoking, naturist rights activist, hung-like-a-mule, mule. Vote Juju and vote often fuckers- or he'll kick you in the teeth:
*Well, they're not collectively that large. If I try hard I can still cram the entire package into an oversized coffee mug on a cool day with the aid of a good, high-viscocity hypo-allergenic lubricant.
As I step aside and let lesser men (and woman) struggle in vain to win that coveted golden potato, I am putting all my support behind Juju, the dope-smoking, naturist rights activist, hung-like-a-mule, mule. Vote Juju and vote often fuckers- or he'll kick you in the teeth:
*Well, they're not collectively that large. If I try hard I can still cram the entire package into an oversized coffee mug on a cool day with the aid of a good, high-viscocity hypo-allergenic lubricant.
posted by K-Dough at 7:38 AM
25 Comments:
wow
Juju reminds me greatly of Pepe, the mule suspected in the Ianiero murders in Mexico. Could there be a relation? If so, Pepe could be a liability.
I've also heard rumours that Juju is part of the conspiracy to keep suspicion alive on the two blonde bombers in Thunder Bay who still claim they didn't do it. "It was the donkey," they keep saying, to anyone who'll listen.
Harding- when they said "it was the donkey" they were referring to yours truly. My stage name in Mexico is El Burro. I banged those two saucy TB cougars after a night of barber chair tequila shots in Puerto Vallarta.
They murdered me... or parts of me anyways. That night, I invented the phrase "carne del flauta caliente".
Ahhh...Thunder Bay cougars. Some of my best armchair memories.
Ahem. I hope that you are implying that TB women are exceptionally hot and fun-loving, not just Northern Tarts.
Amen, Pam. I still think about Marge. We spent three days in her apartment eating, screwing, drinking, screwing and laughing. I really liked her, and was sad to go. We even tried keeping in touch, but it just wasn't geographically or logistically feasible. Good thing too, cause she's probably pushing 60 by now.
That's pretty much the only entertainment in TB now that Bunny's is closed. I think it's time to take a trip north for 3 days or so..and eat, drink, laugh and have sex.
Ahhhh Northern Ontario. No discriminaton based on age, number of teeth or amount of illicit substances consumed. And they love their metal. It's truly God's country.
Leather- re: Marge pushing 60. So you were up there just last year were you? Family picnic? Sweet.
Oh yeah, luv 'em that age. Like fucking a bowl of minnestrone soup.
(Sorry everyone, just goin' for cheap shock-value.)
I've banged that soup before.
You'll be changing your tune when you are in your 60s. You'll be happy to take what you can get. You'll both be telling your wives that nothing is sexier than a woman in her 60s, just like you told her that nothing was sexier than a pregnant woman.
Ummmm... the old man in me is completely disgusted by this thread... more please!
I'm proud to say that I'm an equal opportunity banger. The history of my pants reads like a roll call at the UN. I find many women of most sizes, shapes, ages, political affiliations, religions, ethnic or cultural origins and handicaps attractive.
I mean, I have my preferences, but whoever it was that created the female form was a fucking artist. Of course, whoever created alcohol, divorce lawyers and psychologists was pretty bang on as well.
JC- yuck- you have an old man in you?
God, I hate it when that happens.
Remind me never to join you for lunch, k-dough.
BTW- all kidding aside- I have to say I have been with some chickies that reminded me of gazpatcho.
Ya, well, NO SOUP FOR YOU.
Pamma- Why for you treat me so cruel? You no lika da K no more? I sinka we gotta sumthina especial no? I can take ita no more, I'm a gonna keela someone. I don unbelivable you.
You know I worship you and I have the K-Doug tattoo to prove it.
Stop being such a baby and we'll split a nice bowl of hot soup.
That's better. We blog stars are quite temperamental and sucky. We need to be stroked and massaged constantly.
Mmmmmmm. Did you say HOT soup?
A special Won-Ton soup for your K-dough...
The words "special", "soup" and "K-dough" make me very nervous when they are used together.
Avoid the clam chowder this evening, is all I have to say.
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