Canadians for Exile
So, we've all heard the story this morning about the American judge who exiled the teacher who slept with his student to Canada, right? In the event that you haven't, read this (click HERE). Here's hoping this remarkably innovative judge's decision withstands legal scrutiny. Just think of the possibilities. It would give us the perfect excuse to clean a little house in Canada, if we could hook up some kind of reciprocal agreement with the U.S.
Here is a partial list* I've composed of possible candidates for permanent exile to the good ole U. S. of A. Feel free to add/disagree!:
Howie Mandell
Stephen Harper, John Baird and Jim Flaherty
The Toronto Maple Leafs
Chad Krueger and Nickleback
Conrad Black (his exile order would be pre-filled-out just in case he tries to weasel back over the border)
Ezra Levant
Massari/Shawn Desmond
Don Newman
Matt Dusk
Ben Mulroney
The Canadian Taxpayers Federation
Belinda Stronach
Robin Black
*There is no theme underpinning this list other my own personal cultural, social, artistic and/or political arrogance, of which I am fully aware.
Here is a partial list* I've composed of possible candidates for permanent exile to the good ole U. S. of A. Feel free to add/disagree!:
Howie Mandell
Stephen Harper, John Baird and Jim Flaherty
The Toronto Maple Leafs
Chad Krueger and Nickleback
Conrad Black (his exile order would be pre-filled-out just in case he tries to weasel back over the border)
Ezra Levant
Massari/Shawn Desmond
Don Newman
Matt Dusk
Ben Mulroney
The Canadian Taxpayers Federation
Belinda Stronach
Robin Black
*There is no theme underpinning this list other my own personal cultural, social, artistic and/or political arrogance, of which I am fully aware.
Labels: Canadiana, Stupid, Stupid Lists, Top Lists
posted by K-Dough at 11:48 AM
54 Comments:
The leafs, I love it. I would like to add to that list the following:
Frank D'Angelo
Ben Johnson (for making not one but 2 mistakes in his career by appearing in those stupid Cheetah commercials) In fact, any washed up athelete who participated in D'Angelo's commercials.
Billy Talent
K.
I know, I couldn't believe that story...what a crock. Just think of all the roadies we know who can never go to the States again because they were caught with a joint in their car when they were seventeen.....but it's OK to send a teen fucking perv teacher up here.
Number one on my list?
Gian Ghomeshi! (Who single-handedly caused my beloved CBC radio to be removed from my daytime office listening schedule.) An obnoxious putz of epic proportions.
Don Cherry tops my list. Hockey Night in my basement would be much better without that big-mouth. And what about any and/or all winners of Canadian Idol?
Frank D'Angelo! Love it...what an ass!
Oh, and whatever ad company makes McCains commercials. Exile 'em!!!
Next?
Oh, and I don't know how I forgot this one: Lloyd Eisler!
Why Lloyd Eisler?
Perhaps it's time that the Canadian government restructures our system to reflect that of The national Hockey league. Placing some undesired Canadians on waivers may not be a bad idea. We could erect a waiver station at the Canadian border where other nations could come and claim our unwanted Canadians. If they clear waivers we simply gas them and burn them out back eh!
K.
This is why Lloyd Eisler:
Why Lloyd Eisler?
Ummm- K (anonymous) except that gassing and burning is not an NHL tactic- it's a Nazi crime. I have to ask you to clarify that, as some readers here may be seriously offended.
I don't want anyone making any leaps here ok?
Prick. Okay, I'm with you of that one, too. I would have been ever so thrilled if my daughter's $60/hour skating coach would have been hitting on her.
My apologies, it was just a joke. Didn't even occur to me about the Nazi crime.
Sorry everyone.
I revise.
If they clear waivers we'll put them on a bus to Rochester.
Thanks Anon- and now back to other kinds of leaps- the Leaping Creep AKA: Eisler. Good ole muscle boy in tights Lloyd could be the poster boy for reverse-exile!
Hey Pammie,
I was gonna say something about Canadian Idol too, (cause I hate the show's concept more than just about anything) but those winners all rehearse at my studio with their live bands. Bad political move on my part to dis them. (A couple of them are really sweet, a couple are putzes. No names mentioned though...in the interests of the studio not going tits-up...)
Of course, leather. It's the concept, not the artist or talent, though I'm sure they would all sound much better if they rehearsed in a GREAT STUDIO. (Better?)
K-dough..Leaping Creep..LOL. That's hilarious.
Iggy... we should send Iggy back. After all, he's busy aiding and abetting treason by acknowledge a province as a nation... Oh, Elizabeth May, we should send her too... Her and Andrea Dworkin can start a new "What about us" group. Plus David Suzuki, for advocating lies as a way to achieve Kyoto upon the mass' (his words, not mine)
My Canada does not include Ben Johnson, Gordie Johnson or The Hip. THey got to go yo.
Iggy go home- I'm with JC!
I second Iggy....and McCain's commercials. lol!
That Bob McCowan sports radio guy is seriously getting on my tits too. He has the most obnoxious commercials...trying to come off all gritty and irreverent. He's a slobby, spindly unshaven geek in desperate need of a shower, who has strong opinions on shit nobody cares about. I'm sure he couldn't play a single sport.
I second the motion to kick out anyone who gets on your tits leather... there's something sort a wierd about it, so we should kick them out too.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unless you've got honkin huge man tits... then maybe the radio dude see's a reason to get on your tits...
K-Dough, Maple Leafs we keep but the rest we can send to U.S. including Habs. Howie Mandell is already in U.S. so no point filling up name space. I would also like to send Duceppe just to for fun.
And add the two people from the A&W commerical, the drizzle couple.
I think those Tim Ho's commercials are far worse than the McCain's. Who thought they were funny? SOMEONE must have thought they were funny. All those who laughed, get in line behind Iggy and Don.
jdog, those swingers are long gone. Grab a mitt and get in the game.
Pam, the worst of them all is the A&W, oh ogd those two people just annoy me with their "this is dessert" and the guy looks like Charest.
J-Dog: While we're on the subject of sports guys, what about that retard Joe Tilley on CTV?
Get him the fuck out of here on the next Lake Ontario bullet boat ASAP!!!!
Comin' righhhhhhhht up!
Ya, joanne. I wondered about that chick, too. Who the hell goes out for dinner and doesn't fill up on wine? And the guy is just creepy. I wouldn't have finished that meal sober, that's for sure.
Please add Craig Oliver to that list
Is there a time when you are supposed to finish meals sober?
Exile the following people:
1) Anyone with the last name Axworthy.
2) Svend Robinson.
3) Barenaked Ladies. (if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love???)
4) David Suzuki.
and just to get you in trouble
5) Ashleigh mCaIsakk
CC- LOL
good gawdess!!! i can't read all the prior comments but i'll add peter mackay, celine dion, don cherry , gordon campbell, did i say gordon campbell? jim prentice, marie trainer, 1/3 of the fucks who live on this island, ad gordon campbell.
Thanks for admiring my gender non-specific body references. I still like to "play my cunt off" with the band as well.
Yup, Joanne nailed it with the "drizzle" couple. My wife says that guy is the grossest date she could ever imagine in her worst blind-date nightmares. Hello, casting? "Average guy" doesn't mean "guy that no woman would ever date".
Hello script writers? Using "drizzle" to describe food running down a fat guy's mouth is just plain nauseating.
J-Dog...I forgot about Michael Landsberg...I guess I had blocked him out. The horror. The horror.
No need to formally exile Howie Mandel. Just convince him that Canada is germy and he'll exile himself.
What's all this about Drizzle- isn't he the cute goofy young lad on Inked?
Just in case any of you are interested - here are a few search terms that were used to find this site in the past 24 hours via Google- no lie:
hillary's pussy
ohter opposition parties and leaders name in canada
jack daniels myspace banner codes
rona ambrose drag queen?
overweight undone pants
sandy horne bass
no tolerance for native canadians
bundy toilet
K-Man,
can we start a list of people we want back? I can think of two....
1) Obviously, because I'm a right-wing nut, Conrad Black.
2) the Canadian Tire Guy.
Without him, I keep putting my simonizer in places not accustomed to high-pressure squirting - at least not in some directions.
I miss him. And, a little bit, the pedophile who enjoys Alexander Keith's. I sure love it when he gets all upset at how someone drinks the beer, then dashes off to his laptop for some "relief".
K, come on, bud. Those sound like phrases YOU were searching in Google. It's okay. You're among friends.
full confession,
I am "overweight undone pants".
I was hoping to find pics, but they directed me to you. Just when I thought I was out.... they drag me back in.
Pam- My fave of that group is "overweight undone pants" - what the hell is that person thinking?
CC- ha! Great minds...errrrrrr ...
Ah, so it was CC...I should have known. I think this calls for a post with pictures of overweight undone pants. Any volunteers?
if you can handle all the hair....
Nope, the guy we are talking about is the fat, sausage fingered, old, ugly guy who is drooling in the A&W commercial over a burger.
Chucker, I am just curious but why will you google "overweight undone pants"?
joanne,
my favorite line in David Lynch's Wild at Heart is "Them's is filming a porno, Texas style."
CC: "Speaking of jack- one-eyed Jack's yearnin' to go a peepin' in a seafood store..."
i liked rona ambrose drag queen? the best. i think these people (unless it was k-doughs imaginary friends) were probably doing the google look for a pic thing without knowing there was an image option.
KD, you hear that sound? Only a deep sound comes from Bobby Peru...
CC: Stop it! You're getting me hotter than Georgia asphalt!
I'd add the following to the banishment list...
1. Barenaked Ladies - the 90's are over boys, stop being so quirky.
2. The hosts of Canada AM (Seamus & Bev) - shallow star fuckers & wannabe newspeople. This applies to CTV in general, actually.
3. The cast of Degrassi: TNG - go get acting lessons and stop lining up to suck Kevin Smith's dick.
4. Celine Dion - This one's a no brainer. She looks like a wet dog looking for someone to pet her. She sings about as well as one, too.
5. The Urban Peasant - I make as much mess in the kitchen as he does and I didn't get my own show. Bastard.
6. Avril Lavigne - That self-righteous dolt who's too young to talk about let alone sing about life. Hey, Avril, your cookie cutter 'girl angst' shtick only appeals to 14-year-old girls who think they're lesbians because it's edgy.
7. Nickelback - Because they're Nickelback.
8. That woman on that Tim Horton's commercial who thinks calling something "steeped" means "cool". FOR THE LOVE OF RONA AMBROSE, STOP WITH THIS 'STEEPED' CRAP!
You fellas have a lot of the same power 'E' had.
PS: Rejoice, for I am back from my holiday.
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