Thursday, February 02, 2006

Liberal Leadership Needs Glamour!

Ok- so potential candidates for the fed liberal leadership are dropping like flies. I think it's time to glitz the race up- make it sexy (unlike the effect that iron-jawed, sea-bass mugged Stronach would add. You know, sometimes it's hard to understand why political groupies think chicks like her are "sexy". Must be the slim girth of the competition! Rona Ambrose? I get it.....anyway, I digress....)

Here's my pitch. We need a showperson with some good ole bird flippin' charisma, intelligence and a SENSE OF FUCKING HUMOUR!!!

Sean Cullen has my vote. Well, him or Scott Thompson. NO wait Guy Lafleur- he'd be flying the flag up the pole again if ya know what I mean. Ummmm, how about that drag queen from T.O. that always runs for mayor, ummmmm ENZA SUPERMODEL. Ya baby. Every day would be like Pride Week in Canada... How better to continue our 'socially progressive' ascent into Bohemian oblivion? Ok Enza- she's my gal! Just think.... the first female, errrr, female-like PM ever (Kim Campbell was far more masculine).

Let's liven things up in this country fer chrissakes...
Canada, politics, k-dough, liberal, conservative, harper, Ontario, kdough, criticism, neo-con, commentary, communications, legislature, Chretien, election,policy, hand guns, Toronto


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tobin, McKenna, Belinda, Ignatieff, Manley, Rae, Rock, who's it gonna be? We're certainly not lacking personalities. It's leagues better than the two recent choices of the Alliance,... I mean Tories: Stockwell Day; Harper.

1:40 PM, February 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:41 PM, February 02, 2006  
Anonymous Peter said...

again, not bad. Test pt.II.

1:46 PM, February 02, 2006  
Anonymous jez said...

looking good... why not just have a good ol'fashioned beauty contest in place of a leadership race... oh... wait... we may not want to have to watch a swimsuit competition...

1:59 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Anonymous- who are yee?

2:03 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Harding said...

One name that never comes up is Trudeau. I'm not talking about Justin. No sir. I'm talking about MARGARET!!! Why not? She can get the Constitution to do anything. Plus, I like her views of "A hand in every driveway, and a cocktail in every hand."

Failing that, my next vote would go to Shirley Douglas, or possibly Peter Puck. I mean, why not a cartoon leader? At least we could smack him around with sticks whenever we got fed up with him.

I'm being very serious, by the way.

2:09 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Harding- I love the Maggie Trudeau idea, but the government has no place in the panties of the country. Then again, if the country isn't wearing any panties...yeehaww!

2:29 PM, February 02, 2006  
Anonymous Forever Blue said...

The title should be "Liberals Need To Pack It In". Thankfully Mr. Harper understands the meaning of honesty and accountability. Unfortunately, such words have never been in the liberal vocabulary.

3:01 PM, February 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Forever Blue... you'll be forever the bridesmaid with such a name. Forever on the outside looking in. Blue on blue, heartache on heartache. Harper may understand honesty well enough, and Lord knows the Libs have some issues to clean up... but grow up. He's got two years at most. Really, don't let this go to your head. Enjoy it while it lasts, but you're best not to throw anything that might come back at you...

And if you want to get into the accountability question, just take a look at Mr. Mulroney's bank book from the late 80's. "Accountability" is not a Conservative word. And don't tell me Harper was never a PC, because that's not the point. Maybe he's the most honest guy in the room. Maybe his administration will be a breath of fresh air. Maybe he'll actually achieve something worth while...

My point is that the Liberals may very well emerge from this stronger than ever... and you'll be feeling a different kind of blue.

3:35 PM, February 02, 2006  
Anonymous DiKu said...

Let's all raise a glass and a lithium pill to dear Maggie! Cheers!

But seriously, why not glitz up the Liberal leadership race? The entire election is practically a public relations campaign -- you'd need a vat of lard and the jaws of life to pry an honest, unrehearsed answer from the leaders.

Being rather cynical, some glitz and glamour could be interepreted as the last stage of the plastination of our political system, which began when Kim Campbell observed that campaigns were no place for a policy debate and continued while PR firms began running said campaigns.

I'd argue that style would inject much-needed fun into the system and inspire attention in the apathetic masses. Rather than another bleak melodrama far removed from everyday lives, politics could be inspiring and important to normal Canadians.

Odd that the pundits so quickly and viciously shred those candidates that might bring a sense of style or, gasp, youth to such a contest. Who needs it when we can sit back and reflect on the Trudeau days?

And it's not surprising that Quebecers are about to elect a fabulous sniffing 'mo as their next preem -- they've always had a European air about them and they're such trendsetters that now Alberta's ready to leave the country. Whether it's their culture or their politics, it just seems more engaging in la belle province. Believe it or not, I think we could learning something from that.

3:52 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Harding said...

Style is fine enough, but too much of it puts substance into question. I'm all for a renewed spirit in Canadian politics, with more energy, youth and vitality. I'd really like to see some real pizazz in our foreign marketing. The Canadian image of the polite next door neighbour needs to go. We do not need to be so damn apologetic about who we are. We live in the greatest country in the world, and just because nobody's flying planes into our buildings, doesn't mean we are not a nation worth noticing.

But a brand is useless without substance behind it. Imagine if you associated the pretty mermaid in the Starbucks logo with crappy, watered down coffee. That's the last thing you want. You want your brand to represent the best you have to offer, not just cover up the mediocrity of who you really are.

That's why I think we should get behind Mitsou for leadership.

4:35 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

For the record, Starbucks coffee IS watered down crap. Mitsou for PM- now that's what I'm talkin' about baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hel-lo mon cowgirl!!!!!!

4:41 PM, February 02, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am Ramon, Jujitsu fighter from the Brazil. Want to know why you think the Ushiro geri is so good.

7:03 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Lai Wong Bao said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:24 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Lai Wong Bao said...

Enough of your hippy sex! I'm with Ramon. We need to take a page from politicians around the globe and incite more violence in Canadian politics. A good start to any minority government is an all-out brawl.

7:26 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Soooooooooo sorry Ramon- I should have said ushiro mawashi geri followed, of course, by a barrage of uraken no uchi to the face neck head shoulders and cheek region... Hope that clears up the spin kick question. Duhhhhhh, now back to the regularly scheeduled topic...ahhh....politics in the Canada.

7:44 PM, February 02, 2006  
Anonymous Homo Superior said...

Here are the problems with the candidates that anonymous lists:

Tobin/McKenna/Manley: All declined, very unfortunately in the case of McKenna (and not so, in the case of Manley as I don't like him that much), to run.

Ignatieff: Too stiff to connect with voters. Too American in his opinions (he supported the illegal invasion of Iraq for Pete's sake!).

Rae: He was Premier of Ontario. Enough said.

Belinda: Too much baggage (and I'm not talking Louis Vuitton here) because of crossing the floor. She, unfortunately, has been unfairly pegged as a turncoat by the media, even though I think she did the right thing in abandoning a party that was obviously being run by idiots. And if she's a turncoat, then what the hell's Peter McKay? He sold his party down the drain 2 months after signing a paper promising not to. I mean, come on, can you say blatant, sexist double standard in media coverage? They're grooming him to take over from Harper should anything tres tragique happen.

Rock: He's solid and respectable, but never had a huge profile, and I don't know that he'd get people excited. Still, as others have shown, being bland can indeed get you elected.

I also like Irwin Cotler and the guy who was Attorney General under Chretien before him, Martin Cauchon. They stood up for the Charter of Rights and Freedoms and for gay marriage. I think they should consider a run. I think Cauchon's supposed to be thinking about it, actually.

As for Enza, while she would definitely be the most stylish candidate (sorry, Belinda!), I'd be surprised to see her run. I heard she was a Canadian Alliance true believer, who was shocked, SHOCKED, that the party couldn't see that she was far more qualified (not to mention electable) than Stockwell "Doris" Day to be leader and embrace her for the CA leadership. Then again, never say never, after all, success is the best revenge.

7:45 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

HS- it is seriously too bad McGuinty already has a job...K

8:30 PM, February 02, 2006  
Blogger Harding said...

There's always David...

7:10 AM, February 03, 2006  
Anonymous Forever Blue said...

Mitsou as liberal leader...that would work! She'd be the hottest politician ever (sorry Shelia Copps, you just don't have the parts, baby). She's french (a liberal must) and loves spending tax payers hard earned dollars (see Factor grants for mon-cowboy video). The debate is over: Mitsou is clearly the best liberal choice!

10:08 AM, February 03, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Never thought I'd be saying this but:
I'm with you, blue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:34 AM, February 03, 2006  
Anonymous Tess. said...

Lloyd Axworthy all the way. However, he's one of these men who's too smart to get back into politics.

AND,Irwin Cotler as Liberal leader? He will never do it. Again, too smart.

AND, they need to get that fandangled Sean Cullen OFF CBC-Radio.

Him and that Guess Who guy, Randy Bachman, don't deserve guest-hosting spots.

11:56 AM, February 04, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ushiro Mawashi Geri is better. Ushiro Geri is back kick and looks funny as the finishing move. Like trying to hang up coat with your ankle. Why do you talk about wrestling in Canada Politics? Ramon.

2:17 AM, February 05, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Hey! You got your chocolate in my peanut butter. No- you got your Canadian politics in my wrestling. Mmmmmmm. tastes great!

4:03 PM, February 05, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

Tess- can't support the comments on Cullen, though I've never heard the show you are talking about. I lovethe guy. I think he is absolutely brilliant. i mean have you hear the Corky & the Juice Pigs stuff? Hot Squat Hombre fucking rocked!
He was my midget love slave
He was a horny little half-pint
With lovin' for sale
He was my midget love slave
His name was Andrew, but I called him Gayle

The first time that I saw him
Was in a porno production of the seven dwarfs
He played a dwarf named sleazy
One look at his beard and I wanted to score

5:28 PM, February 05, 2006  
Anonymous tess said...

Hey K -

Sean Cullen and Randy Bachman's stint as hosts...

CBC-Radio1's summer radio program offerings - interrupted, thank god, by the strike.


9:13 PM, February 06, 2006  
Blogger Lai Wong Bao said...

Can we still talk more about Mitsou?

"Non non non c'est pas ça. Non non non c'est pas comme ça qu'on fait l'amour. Regarde les chinois. [...] Moi je sais qu'on peut en faire autant que les chinois. Nooooooooonnnn... c'est pas ça! Regarde les chinois!"

The wisdom of those words is incalculable. Social policy in a nutshell.

3:30 PM, February 07, 2006  
Blogger K-Dough said...

ha...your social policy....Milwickian!!!!!!!!!

7:29 PM, February 07, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, that was pretty hot, do you think he might end up on randyblue some time?

9:48 AM, March 06, 2006  
Blogger George Forgan-Smith said...

I think I have seen that over at seancody. Would that be right?

10:43 AM, March 09, 2006  
Anonymous Sean Cody said...

I just wish that 1% of the interent community understood this topic as well as you did. Thankyou!
Have a great one.
Sean Cody

1:23 AM, July 02, 2006  

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